Shelly's raw transformation
 The
Nightmare Begins
My nightmare began at the end of 1996. At 25 I was what society would
consider healthy. A low-fat diet, daily exercise, and drinking water instead
of pop. I ate what I thought was a well balanced diet and I was fit and
very active. I felt good, had a great boyfriend, now husband, and life
was good.. How drastically everything would change.
Migraines & Stiff, Hard, Painful Muscles
I started to fall ill. Terribly ill. It began with a migraine that came
one day and never left. Accompanying the migraine was a pain at the base
of my skull and severe muscle tightness, and pain. My muscles in my neck
and shoulders became as hard as rocks and nothing I did would relax them.
Over the next six years I would bounce from various types of doctors
and specialists in the allopathic medical community (conventional medicine)
with various symptoms, but the ones that were always a constant were the
migraines and the debilitating muscle pain and fatique. It was literally
never ending.
No doctor could help me and my list of symptoms kept getting longer.
Added to the debilitating migraines and muscle tightness, fatigue and
pain was.. 50lb weight gain, extreme excitability/nervousness, panic attacks,
shortness of breath, great loss of libido, painful intercourse, fibrocystic
breasts, irregular heart beat, chronic sinus infections and yeast infections,
lowered immune system and more.
My body was quite simply falling apart. I felt like a 20-something trapped
in the body of an 80 year old.. But not a healthy 80 year old, a dying
80 year old.
Hair Loss, Loss of Libido
I started losing tons of hair. I remember calling my husband in to the
shower and showing him a handful of hair. I just started crying. He attributed
it to the fact that I always colored my hair. He didn't understand
and didn't really talk to me about my illness. I really resented
that but I know understand he was just scared and didn't know how
to help me.
But hair wasn't the only thing I lost. I lost all desire for being
with my husband sexually. In fact I became repulsed by the thought of
having sex. I completely lost my libido as well as my vaginal fluids.
Sex became extremely painful. It would cause bleeding and pain and it
soon became non-existent.
The Cure Is Worse Than The Disease
I was taking all of the drugs the doctors were prescribing to me but
none of them helped me. No matter what drug I would take I would have
side affects from it. The cure was for me worse than the disease.
HYPERSENSITIVE TO EVERYTHING
I had become chemically hypersensitive and couldn't tolerate any
drugs. I continued to take Excedrin migraine as they ‘seemed'
to give me some relief.. But only if I would continually take them. I
was taking 6 and 8 during the day. Then at night I would have to take
Tylenol P.M to knock myself out otherwise I would not sleep at all.
I became digestively hypersensitive and developed leaky gut. My stomach
would bloat out to the size of a 9 month pregnant women from foods though
I couldn't narrow it down to anything in particular. It would happen with
almost everything.
I became sensitive to noises.. mostly because I had migraines constantly
and all noise drove me literally insane. Bright lights and sun were also
very bothersome. I couldn't be outside without sunglasses as my eyes would
water uncontrollably and make my headaches even worse.
It was if I was ALLERGIC TO EVERYTHING!!
Suicidal Thoughts
I was suicidal from the pain. I was merely existing, not living. I didn't
want to live anymore as the pain was too much for me. I wasn't even
30 years old, the thought of even having to live to the age of 50 in the
condition I was in was depressing, frightening and horrifying.
Going Crazy
Every muscle, joint, bone, tissue, fiber of my being hurt. Not just mild
pain, severe pain on a constant basis. As new symptoms came on some of
the others would disappear but the main ones.. The migraines and the debilitating
muscle pain and fatique were always a constant. It sounds unrealistic
to be in that much pain and for it not to go away. I know. I couldn't
believe it myself. I started thinking I had to be crazy because the doctor's
tests and x-rays couldn't find anything wrong with me. I started
to question my own sanity. I started telling myself, you are not sick,
you are not sick, your body feels fine, you are not in pain.. But I was
in pain, excruciating pain. If someone can get well from positive affirmation
alone I assure you that I would have done it. But it is not as simple
as that.
Blurred Vision
Somewhere in all this hell my vision started to get blurry, really blurry.
So much so I didn't like driving. I couldn't read traffic signs, I couldn't
make the 'outlines' of images out. I went to eye doctors but surprise,
surprise, they could find nothing wrong with me. My vision didn't even
change. How can this be? Was I really going crazy? I couldn't understand
how one person could have so much wrong with her yet no test could find
out what it was.
The Fake Smile
All the while I was trying to 'pretend' to family and friends that I
was 'alright'. I had to go about daily life.. I had to function. I had
to work, I had to pay bills, I had to be a part of society. No x-ray,
mri, ctscan or blood test could find anything wrong with me. Every test
said 'you are not sick'... but I was in torturous pain. If I had to go
around family and friends I would take Excedrin migraines, make my appearance,
and then come home and drop in exhaustion from the pain and pretending.
Sometimes pretending to feel 'good' was actually harder than living in
pain. It was if someone painted a fake smile on my face. I didn't
want anyone to see me in pain or crying. I was ashamed and embarrassed
by my illness.
My husband watched me cry every day from the pain. My muscles were so
hard, so sore, he couldn't even touch me to massage me to try and alleviate
some of the pain. Thank God for a wonderful man! He stuck by me every
step of the way and helped me with everything. Normal every day chores,
like washing the dishes caused me terrible pain. I would have to the dishes
sitting on a stool because my legs were to sore to hold me up. I could
not bend over to tie my shoes without an intense feeling of strangulation.
I would start to black out every time I bent over. My husband would tie
my shoes for me many days as just tilting my head downward would cause
me to feel as if I were going to pass out.
Loss of Feeling
I also started to loss feeling in my face and my extremities. One day
it was so bad my mother thought I was having a stroke and rushed me to
the doctor. After about 10 minutes in his office the symptoms started
to subside. This loss of feeling would come and go over a period of a
couple of years but my doctor could never find a 'reason' as to why it
was happening.
I was having loss of feeling in my face and extremities but I was also
having loss of feeling to the world and life in general. I was merely
existed, not by any stretch of the imagination living.
My Immune System Was Shutting Down
I soon was catching every cold and flu bug. But when others would catch
it and be sick a few days. I would “catch it “and literally
have it for weeks on end. I was always sick. I was never well. Not even
for one day. I was in constant pain on a daily basis.
Sinus & Yeast Infections
On top of everything else I was fighting a constant losing battle between
sinus infections and yeast infections. I was living with chronic sinus
infections and taking the doctors antibiotics. My body reacted violently
against taking the antibiotics, and why shouldn't it? By taking them
I was putting toxins in my body. The antibiotics caused me to get severe
yeast infections. The kind that are so bad you don't want to have
any clothes on and you don't want even move. Some women I am sure
will be able to relate to this. It is pure hell. It burns, itches and
hurts.
Somewhere in this nightmare the insomnia began I don't remember
when but it was hard hitting. For years I didn't get more than 2
or 3 hours of sleep a night, some nights even less. But it was never a
full 2 or 3 hours of sleep, that was a total count for the entire night.
I would sleep an 20 or 30 minutes, wake up and toss and turn for 15 or
20 minutes and then a fall back asleep for another short period of time,
and wake up again and do it all over again. On and on all night long.
I don't remember when the insomnia started but I remembered how
it started. I started to have a horrible sensation just as I would start
to fall asleep. All of a sudden just as I was dozing off my entire body
would jump and I would let out a gasp. I would grab my husband and it
would scare him half to death. “What's wrong?” He would
say, I would only reply I felt like I was going to die. I have no idea
what this was but it was so horrific that I actually became afraid of
falling asleep. Even though it was just a brief second of time, it was
the most horrible feeling in the world. There are no words to explain
it.
Panic Attacks
Panic attacks started around this time to. Every morning I would dread
my husband leaving for work. I had a paralyzing feeling that he would
die and not come home. It became difficult for me to go out in public.
I went from someone who loved being the center of attention, to someone
who couldn't even deal with looking the check-out girl in the grocery
store in the eyes. Even just driving became almost impossible, I felt
an overwhelming fear that I would run off the road or a car would swerve
in to my lane.
Memory Loss
Memory loss would rear its head down the road too. I'm not just
talking about forgetting a phone number or forgetting to pick up something
at the grocery store, I am talking serious memory loss. I remember one
day being in the car with my husband and I got off the exit ramp and just
sat there because I didn't know which way to turn to get home. It
wasn't like a forgetfulness, it was more of a not knowing. It scared
me and I started crying. My husband shrugged it off that he gets that
way too… but I know he doesn't this was something different.
We were only 5 miles from home. It was a road we took for years.
My speech became slurred, which was part of the reason I also didn't
like to be in public. I knew what I wanted to say in my head but getting
it to come out was another story. I stuttered and changed subjects in
the middle of a sentence. I didn't want to get in conversations with
anyone for fear that I would be talking and forget what we were talking
about.
Add To The Mix Heart Problems
While new symptoms kept appearing I continued to go to doctors and take
their prescription drugs. Sometimes the drugs would help me but only as
long as I was taking them, as soon as I stopped taking them I was sick
again.
One trip to a nurse practitioner for either a sinus infection or a yeast
infection, I can't remember, ended up with me in the hospital. She
gave me a sulfa drug and I broke out in hives all over my body. I had
told the nurse practitioner that I thought I was allergic to Sulfa, she
asked me why, I told her I thought I got a rash, she prescribed it anyway.
Like an idiot I took it. I took it for 10 days and it did nothing, I didn't
get a rash, but it also didn't help my sinus infection. I went back
she gave me another round and my body fought back violently! That next
day I had hives covering every inch of my body. I was running a high fever
and my throat started to close. I called my mother in law who rushed me
in to the clinic. They gave me a shot of adrenalin to the chest to prevent
my throat from closing. This went on for two more days with the nurse
practitioner meeting me and my husband there in the middle of the night
twice to pump me with adrenaline. I was too sick to fight back and my
husband was to trusting in conventional medicine to ask any questions.
A day later my mother carried me in during the day and told them to call
the hospital. I remained there for three days.
In the hospital a heart specialist came in the room and told me I needed
heart surgery. Scared to death, tubes coming out of me, and all alone
I sat there speechless watching him draw a picture of a heart with a bunch
of wires coming out of it. I said nothing. I just kept nodding.
The doctor never came back in the room. I told my husband he told me
not to worry about it. Needless to say I had a few choice words for him
as I was worried about it. From that point my heart started causing me
serious problems. My panic attacks increased in severity to the point
of running my life. My heart hurt so bad I couldn't even walk to
the mail box to get the mail. I was constantly winded. Going from one
room to the next wore me out. I was in my 20's why did I feel like
a dying 80 year old? What was wrong with me?
I Wanted To Die, But Opted For Surgery
I was desperate, suicidal from pain and something had to give. My husband
called me from work one day because he saw an advertisement about a new
clinic that was performing sinus operations. We discussed it and thought
it might be an option. I called and made an appointment. I met with the
doctor and I was so relieved to hear him say that he found polyps and
a devated septum. Could it be true? Could I have surgery and get rid of
my sinus problems and other pain? He said not everyone's migraines
go away but many peoples do. I was positive this is what I needed. This
too was a horrible mistake.
Once again instead of getting better I got worse. Much worse. I had such
a violent reaction to the surgery that when I came home I vomited for
an hour straight. But that was just the beginning. By the time night hit
I was running a high fever and shaking so uncontrollably my husband was
sitting on me to keep me from shaking. He was sitting on my legs and holding
my shoulders up against the back of the couch. I shook so hard blood ran
from my nose. I begged him not to take me to the hospital, I thought if
I went I would die there. I really thought I was dying that night and
I wanted to die at home. My husband called the doctor at home three times
that night and each time he said she's just having a reaction to
the anesthesia. Oh yeah, did I mention that my nose was ripped during
surgery, this made me stay under an hour longer. I still have a scar.
A week went by I was suppose to be better. I was worse. A month went
by I was suppose to be better. I was not. The ENT (ear, nose and throat
doctor) suggested I go and see his friend a neurologist. This would be
the second neurologist I would see. He had me keep a sleep journal which
was very easy as I simply was not sleeping. I was now literally years
with not one decent nights sleep.
He put me on celebrex for my joint and inflammation in my neck and shoulder
muscles. He also put me on ambien to help me sleep. My body reacted violently
again. Now pills that were suppose to be knocking me out were keeping
me wide awake.
Enough is enough!
I threw my sleep journal, celebrex and ambien in the garbage. I told
my husband I was dying. For months I discussed with him that if I died
I would want him to get married and he would just not answer me. My husband
knew he would have to start going to doctor's appointments with me because
I was very much ready to call it quits. We started looking for another
doctor.
FIBROMYALGIA
I ended back up at a doctor who treated me years early when I first started
falling ill. A general practitioner/osteopath. He had years earlier tested
my blood, did x-rays, etc. but never found anything wrong. He did do chiropractic
on me and had me sit in traction for months but I never got better. I
stopped going after I spent thousands of dollars out of my pocket and
had nothing to show for my money. I didn't have insurance and I couldn't
afford to keep going. I didn't see any point in it either as I wasn't
having improvement and I didn't really understand why I needed to
be cracked.
So back at this doctor he flips through his charts and says to my husband
and I, "Shelly you've been coming in her since Jan. 1997 with these
exact same symptoms.. Did you have a car accident a fall, blow to the
head, anything around that time." I told him "No". My husband
agreed. We couldn't come up with anything.
He had me stand up and pushed on some points on my body. Each point hurt.
I explained that for years I've been living this way. I told him no matter
where you touch my body, no matter how lightly you touch it, I am in pain.
Serious pain! My eyes filled with tears. Every inch of my body hurts and
I told him so. He told me he thought I had Fibromyalgia and went on to
explain that it was incurable. He said he could give me drugs to make
it a little more 'livable', but that it could not be cured. He told me
to go home and research it on the Internet. I left with a prescription
for Prozac. He told me that they didn't know exactly why but that Prozac
helped alleviate the pain of some Fibromyalgia patients.
I was pissed and felt like bursting in to tears. I felt Prozac was for
depression or mental problems and I did not want to take it. It took everything
I had not to lose my cool. We took the prescription and we left. My husband
convinced me to take the Prozac and against my better judgement I did.
I just didn't believe I had Fibromyalgia. Yes, I did have all the symptoms
of Fibromyalgia but I also had many other symptoms that weren't associated
with Fibromyalgia like the severe pain at the base of my skull, and the
inability to bend over without feeling as if I was going to pass out.
It didn't make sense to me.
God Was Guiding Me
Like a good patient not only did I take his drugs, but I took his suggestion
and turned to the Internet to do research on Fibromyalgia. God was leading
me in the right direction, but it would still be a few years until I realized
what he was really trying to tell me. While searching for Fibromyalgia
information I found a story of a women who had fallen ill after having
taken the birth control injections of depo-provera. All of a sudden a
light bulb went off in my head. The doctor asked me what happened around
January of 1997 and I couldn't remember, but then it hit me, that
was around the time I started on the birth control injections.
I called the doctor's office who gave me the birth control injections
and told them to look in their records and see when my first injection
was. It was in November of 1996. It all made sense.
Hindsight is 20/20
In the very beginning as I started to fall ill I remember that I questioned
the birth control injections. I know some of you reading this will ask,
why didn't you just stop taking them? Well hindsight is 20/20 as
they say. I was stupid, yes. I was foolish, yes. But I am human and I
made a huge mistake. Millions of people are making this same mistake and
trusting their health to dangerous prescription drugs on a daily basis.
I Put My Story Online
Shortly after I read that women's story I put my own story up on the
internet at www.abcinternetmarketing.com/depo-provera.
Almost instantly women all over the world started emailing me to tell
me their own horror stories about what happened to them as a result of
the birth control injections depo provera. At that point I turned my back
on conventional medicine. I refused to believe Fibromyalgia was incurable.
I couldn't continue with life if it meant dealing with this severe pain
on a daily basis.
Lost In The Maze of Alternative Medicine
I did leave conventional medicine, but very unfortunately, I jumped out
of the frying pan and into the fire. I decided to try alternative therapies.
But there too I was lost. Nothing was working. I was lost in the maze
of alternative healing. I spent thousands of dollars but I never got well.
I tried homeopathic remedies, whole system health scan, cranio sacral
therapy, deep tissue massage, eft, etc., etc., but nothing worked. The
pain was still there and on the homeopathic drops I was once again getting
worse. I told myself at that point.. 'You have two choices.. 1) get well
or 2) die'. Again I was suicidal from the pain and the frustration that
nothing I did would alleviate the pain.
On The Right Path But Making A Wrong Turn
Once again God was leading me but I wasn't seeing things clearly.
My next doctor was a homeopathic doctor in my home town. He was treating
me with spinal manipulations and homeopathic remedies. He also was the
first person who talked to me about raw food and fasting. Before you get
an appointment with him you are giving information to take home on what
to expect with his treatment. There was mention of what books to read,
books on fasting and chiropractic. His information also said that our
diet should consist of at least 75% raw food. I read a couple of the books
he requested, which had a huge impact on my health, and started increasing
my intake of raw food. However he put me on the diet Eat Right For Your
Blood Type. This diet did not work. I couldn't eat most of the food
that was supposedly beneficial to my blood type and the foods had no problems
with and really enjoyed, like tomatoes were suppose to be bad for me.
Yet I continued to follow the diet as a good patient. I did not get well.
Once again I was worse instead of better.
While ultimately this doctor's treatments and diet plan failed me
as conventional medicine had failed me, I still learned very valuable
information from him. Had I not seen him I may have never learned of raw
food, fasting, and colonics. Eventually as I was again was sliding down
hill, this doctor told me I needed a colonic. God was still working to
try and guide me in the right direction. There were a lot of bumps and
turns on the path I was taking but he was still leading me.
I Called Paula
I had meet a nutritionist previously who worked with one of the many
doctors I was seeing. I knew she did colonics so I gave her a call. She
knew I had been on 75% raw for months, but also had been eating chicken,
mozzarella cheese, yogurt and others things that I was ‘allowed'
on the Eat Right For Your Type diet.
I Went Raw
Paula put me on a 30 day raw food diet, followed by a two week juice
fast. After those six weeks I went to a vegan diet which was 'high raw'
80 to 90% raw. Currently I am 100% raw and feeling MARVELOUS!! I don't
know if I will go back to cooked vegan foods ever.. too early to say,
but I don't think I will. If it's not broke why fix it right?
More Than Dietary Changes
I had to make more changes than just dietary changes however, I also
had to make strict lifestyle changes. I had to encorporate daily exercise,
fresh air (at least 1/2 hour outdoors daily), sunshine, rest (both physical
and mental), I had to let go of all negativity too. I had to let go of
any anger or hatred that I held towards others.. I also had to remove
myself from being around negative people. You can all probably relate
to this. Do you have anyone in your life that puts you in a bad mood just
because they are always so negative and in bad moods? If so, you will
have to stay away from these negative people. It is an entire dietary
and lifestyle change that must be made.
I also had to remove many other chemicals from my life. I had detoxed
my body, for the most part, as I am still doing some detox. But I had
to detox my home too. I threw out all of my household cleaning supplies,
as well as personal and beauty care products and replaced them with safer
alternatives.
Learning and UNLearning
On my road to recovery I had a lot of learning and unlearning to do.
I continued to read I had a lot of 'un'learning to do. Everything I had
been taught about nutrition and health was wrong. The doctor's drugs
are not safe. Conventional medicine does not cure, it suppresses. Only
our bodies can cure, and they can only do that if we set for them the
proper conditions to do so.
When Life Gives You Lemons... Make Lemonade
 While
depo provera was by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me in
life, it was also the best thing to have ever happened to me too! Had
I not fallen so desperately ill I do not know if I would have ever made
a change to this new lifestyle of natural hygiene (plant-based vegan diet,
raw food, exercise, physical and mental rest, sunshine, pure water, fresh
air). I believe everything that happens to us in life happens to us for
a specific reason. I wholeheartedly believe that God intended for me to
learn the lessons of natural hygiene and that is why I had to take the
journey I did. Whether it was just to help myself, or whether it was for
the purpose of being able to share my information with others.. I'll never
know. One thing is for certain, I'm thankful for it.
Thank you Shazzie for your wonderful web site. You are a true angel and
the work you are doing is so very needed. PLEASE KEEP IT UP!
best wishes!
Shelly
Rensselaer, Indiana, USA
Shazzie says...
This is by far the most emotional story on my transformations pages.
Shelly was blessed to find a way out of her drug-induced mess, and is
now doing so much to help others. She didn't mention that she's now writing
her second book! Make sure you check out her URLs above, especially if
you feel you're suffering from prescribed-drug or injection-contraception
related illnesses. There are people out there who can help, so please
don't suffer in silence.
If you want to add your story and before and after pictures to this
section, please email
them (no bigger than 200k each please) to us with your name, the dates
of the photos and your age when the photos were taken. If you would like
me to include a URL to your site, or any other information, please let
me know.
If you want to change your life for the better, buy
Shazzie's detox delights -- it contains the recipes I used to transform
myself from a struggling caterpillar into a butterfly with magic slippers!
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