January February March April May June July August September October November December 2000 2001 2002 2003 2004 2005 2006

Home > Raw > Raw transformation journal

2005 -- November's snippets Webmaster wanted (the techie kind) for an exciting new web site! If you are looking for a great project to call your own, if you're into raw and living foods, if you live in the UK, and if you want to create something that will enrich the lives of many, please contact us now! Please note, this is not an employed position, it's a project, that will last a couple of weeks. If you're a webmaster, then please get in touch with us -- this project can be done in your spare time, and I promise that it'll be so great people won't know what's hit them. 4th November -- What a tough week it's been. Annette no longer works for me, due to logisical reasons. It was hard for us to go through the decision, but we did, and remain great friends, which is the most important thing to me. So I'm going to get a part time cleaner/mother's help and part time secretary for here instead of another full time person. Anyway, she's still going to work with us at the events, so she'll still be around here and there. Fab. It's weird Annette not being here and I miss her company, but it's also lovely to have the house with just me and Evie in it. Think I'm becoming one of those set in her ways women. So, it really means that I need to get out more with Evie. We were in the house all day today and I was just picking up after her, feeding her, bathing her, picking up after her, feeding her, changing her. It's days like that which make motherhood not feel so fulfilling as it normally does. And I really love those days when it feels effortless, which is most of the time. I think it's also coz she's got toof number five coming through so needs more snuggles, attention, distraction and cool things in mouth than normal. Evie's still getting used to the Buddha. She stands on him and kisses him, then gets scared as she can't get off him. Evie with her eyes on show for a change. They're so deep set (re daddy), that I rarely get a close up shot of them like this. Fab, and clear they are. Daddy, hat and phone. Perfect accessories to a growing girl's wardrobe. Evie and her nana New winter hat and mummy will keep Evie warm Lady muck with mama's bangle on Some choccies that I made for our raw pot luck. There were none left at the end of the night. Gran does safe sparkling. One baby inside the conservatory, and one gran on the outside with the sparklers. She didn't know what to make of it. Reminded me of years ago when we went to see John Shuttleworth -- in the 70s he sees a guy standing on his porch, and he thinks "He's eating a packet of sparklers" Then he realised it was one of those new fangled curly whirlys. Now then, if you're thinking of coming to our festive party, then try to book before the 10th of November, and you'll get a discount. Well worth it. We're gonna have a ball. 6th November -- Had a lovely weekend. Evie's asleep in her pram after a whole day of not sleeping coz I had guests overnight. She gets excited with new people. So does her mummy. But this no sleeping is hard for me, as I get tired, and when she does go to sleep, I just feel like flopping and not working, and I have some great projects on at the mo, and want to work. I also want to be with Evie. After feeling my way through What the bleep do we know, I realise (I guess I already did anyway) that I'm always doing all of the things. Hey, on some timeline, there's me going out with Mr Perfect For Me. Just not on this one right now. Still telling the Universe. Anyway, am very excited by life, by work, by Evie and her total preciousness. By everything really. And there it is, the full on "You're so full on, Shaz" me. Need full on man. Sexy goodformeyogictantricwonderful full on man. Now. (Did you hear that one, angels???) 7th November -- got webmaster, you can stop writing in now ;-) Anyway, had a few spare minutes today to put up some recent piccies. I've got the painters in 15th November -- Yeah! House is now being ridded of the putrid colours that have adored it for 10 years. Still can't get the front room -- red, yellow, green and blue. Hm. Anyway. Backlashing me is getting the whole house EVERYWHERE painted white. I got Ecos paints, the purest paints in the world. The painters are going "There's no smell! I'm going to use this in my house". It is totally fab, and goes on much better than normal paint. I'm so impressed I'm on the verge of writing a letter! Now, bird flu. If you're concerned and want to do something about it, then check out the talk on my good mate David Wolfe's web site... Speaking of... am sure we've been hit by something big. Evie puked for 36 hours the other day, then as she got better me and my mum spent the night puking. I felt like I'd been bulldozed the next day, and couldn't look after Evie, so had to get her into nursery. Matt couldn't take the morning off work, which I was extremely peed off about, as it cost me fifty squid to get Evie looked after. The joys of being a single mum again -- even when you can't move, you still have to look after your speedy gonzales baby. Anyway, I'm going to look at the law, because it can't be right that if I can't look after Evie, then Matt has to stay at work, can it? Does anyone know? Anyway, am not impressed with the fact that I've got a bit of a compromised immune system again. Am not going back to getting 6 colds a year, bronchitis and all that, coz if I get that, then I'm gonna be susceptible to all sorts of diseases, aren't I? I do think a big part of it is overwork, as I'm just running round after Evie all day, then working while she sleeps. Must rest and do that nothing thing. Am sure it'll be a lot easier once the house is sorted and I get the place how I like it. It's gonna look so peaceful and beautiful. Fab. Now, am off to do nothing while my poppet sleeps. Have a lovely evening. x 18th November -- How did this happen? I've normally ordered all my Christmas pressies by now, but I've not done anything yet! Maybe coz I've got my house upside down, I've been ill with the throat-grabbing virus (wish I still had tonsils), and Evie's been running rings round me. Wouldn't have her any other way, though -- shows she's fit and healthy. Oooh, me and Matt went to the nursery's parent's evening last night. V funny, they made us sit in chairs made for 2 year olds. Am sure it was a psychological thing. Anyway, they showed us their observation charts and what they've noticed about Evie. Hanna, her keyworker goes "she'll hang out with the other children only when she wants and on her terms. If they come up to her, she doesn't want to know." That's my little lionessa. So of course we get to talking about food, because everyone obsesses about how different it is. She said that next year (aw next year!!!), she'll need to sit with the other children when eating, not in a high chair. Yeah, I totally agree for social integration, not to feel different and all that -- but the thought of her getting some meat or something. Eugh. How do other vegan mommas cope? Do they turn a blind eye? What? Anyway, so Hanna's asking if I'll introduce cooked food by that point and I'm like "I'll review it when she's 2". Which I will. I know she's not going to get any nutritional deficiencies as she's on such a great and varied raw diet, but the social thing is something else. It came down to peer pressure, Hanna obviously doesn't want her to go to "big school" where the other kids to point and stare kind of thing. I said to Hanna that I want her to grow up knowing that she has amazing potential and that most kids now (unfortunately) in most "normal" schools look for the lowest common denominator. It never bothered me at school, I wasn't even a veggie but I was somehow different, and had few mates. I just worked hard at the things I liked and went home. So I eventually said that she'd only go to a Steiner school and if I still wasn't happy, I'd take her out and home educate her, leaving the "socialisation" to after school activities and clubs. I really don't want Evie to grow up being labelled a freak -- I think I do the "holistic living in a modern world" really well myself, so I'm sure we'll manage, but I want more. I want her to be looked at as something to admire, not to laugh at. Well... life will tell in time, won't it? The thing is, in my heart I know this. I know that if I lower my sights, and lower my expectations for Evie, then she'll lower hers, as she reflects my thoughts and behaviour. I have to do the best for her. Didn't stop Matt telling me it may be good to give her some steamed veg, though. Explained she has fresh vegetable juice every day, I make raw chocolates for her, I had burgers and cookies in the dehydrator and she gets the best organic everything -- and she's still on the booboo. I did ask his what could she possibly gain from some denatured veg? Oh yeah, still visualising future man. He's probably just around the corner now, waiting. Any minute I'll be all loved up and going floaty about my business. Wont I, angels? Jess and Finlay came over today. Evie was very into Finlay, and he was very into my fireguard and skirting boards. He's crawling already, little cute muscle boy he is. Jess said she's had to put saftey plugs in her sockets as he's into them, Evie never goes near mine, but she does walk round with an assortment of handbags. Amazing how soon the boy girl thing manifests itself. OK, am off now. Decorators are at the pub probably eating some meat or something. They're not allowed it in the house, so they sit in their car for lunch with their cupotea and sarnie! Very funny. Have a beautiful evening. x 21st November -- Really wanted to rest today when Evie was at nursery, as I've not had a break for a couple of weeks, but was so excited about my house (the decorating of it) that I couldn't! I laid in bed, thinking "sleep, sleep" (am so sleep deprived), but just looked at my newly painted bedroom and felt so elated at it all. I loved my house as soon as I drove up to it on the first viewing, and now I'm falling in love with it all over again, because it's getting all beautified on the inside. Just like a raw fooder. Very apt, eh! Oh, am getting bedroom curtains from the States. Couldn't find the ones I wanted here. Lovely white velvet, down to the floor. V nice with Evie-type blackout blind! Speaking of raw fooders... After the entry about nursery that I put up a few days ago, I got a few emails of support. One, from my mate Tish who has two very healthy and happy raw kids was particularly encouraging. I thought long and hard about it all, and this is my conclusion. If Evie has a good social group of mates as she's growing up, loving family members, lots of things to do with her life, and is in no way deficient, then why shouldn't I bring her up raw? I believe so strongly in raw foodism, and I do believe it's the best thing for all on the planet. Now, adults may not want to make that decision for themselves, and Evie can make her own mind up when she knows it -- but for now, while it's my job to do what I perceive is the best for her, I have to do this. If I don't do it, who will? If I don't do it for Evie, for others to realise it's possible, and for the planet, who will? Pioneers have a hard time sometimes but seeing the results of sowing these seeds is the most rewarding feeling in the world. I was very cagey about how I'd be bringing Evie up as I know there's a lot of controversy with the raw food diet and children, but I do have faith in it, I do know what nutrients she needs and I do know that all other animals are raw and they thrive. Need to stop hanging out at DIY stores before I get arrested 24th November -- DIY part 1) Needed a few things for the decorators, so toodled off to DIY store. Very nice young man helped me find everything, and we nattered and he asked me out! Oooh, first sniff of interest in 2 years. Got me over the "no-one looks at you with a baby" preconception that I had. Anyway, we texted to decide when and where, then he texts and goes "We don't have to go out, we could just have a drink round yours!". Me: reaction time. Many things ran through head like Do I just put that vibe out? Do I look that desperate/daft that I'd invite a stranger to my house before I got to know him? With a baby in the house? Am I destined for men to only think of me like that until I get old and unattractive, then someone might actually want me for more than my body? Etc. In the end I texted and said "I've had enough of blokes not taking me out". Not surprisingly, he didn't text back. Am now in "Men!" mode, and hope that won't last long, as I don't want to feel like that about men, but it's so hard not to when I get nothing for 2 years, and then just that. And Matt's got a bird of sorts (removed ungracious comments!), so am feeling very left out. All I can imagine is that my angels are putting me through one last test before they present me with my The One. OK, angels. I passed. OK. OK... And do you know, I was so excited at the thought of going out for a night and going to La Margerita and having one of their best gorgeous salads that they do for me. Since I had Evie, I've had only 1 night out with Matt, where he was kind of forced into it and he was his usual self, and one night out with Matt's sister for her hen night. In 16 months! I guess, thinking about it, the thought of going out and having adult conversation and a nice relaxed meal was more exciting than the thought of going out with a bloke from a DIY shop! Bless me, though. A woman like me isn't made to be like this, but what am I to do? I really don't know. I've honestly had such a natter with my angels about it all, and so far that's all they've come up with. And I'm clear about what I want from someone, there's no ambiguity there, or any "I don't want this or that", it's all positive. Is it really supposed to be this hard to get your soulmate? Apparently, for me it is. Because this is what I have in my life... DIY part 2) Standing in said DIY store, I got nattering to a preggie woman who had 2 kids on her. Number 3? No, twins! Numbers 3 and 4? No, numbers 8 and 9!!! I was flabbergasted. 9 kids. And just 3 bedrooms. Well, I don't know what posessed me, you know when someone or something jumps into you and starts driving you and you're just a body that's being all possessed? I went up to her, kissed her on the cheek and gave her some money for Christmas! I honestly wasn't intending to, it just happened. Your honour. Now, though I need some more bits and bobs from DIY shop, I feel like I can't go back as young lad may be there or there may be a queue of preggie women going "Where's my Christmas money". I really shouldn't be let out sometimes. Maybe I've turned into Anne off of Little Britain? Take cover girls 26th November -- Oooh, Evie and me are on the new edition of The Mother mag! We were on it last year, when Evie was in my tummy. I did a Demi, but a bit fatter, and not so Hollywood! Now we're there looking all loved up with each other. V cute. Oh, just realised, it's the same pic as I use on my web site! Fab. Love consistency. Speaking of consistency, house is begining to look amazing! Can't wait to get it finished and take some picices. Not a lot happened today, though as one decorator has the flu and the other one got drunk last night and rolled in at 1.30am banging and clonking his way to his bed (actually, Evie's princess bed, am sure that's a picture!). The funniest thing about the decorating so far has been when they stripped the tasteful mustard and burgundy wallpaper only to reveal mustard and burgundy paint underneath! You can just see it, can't you? "Ooh, this mustard and burgundy scumble-effect paint is so great, let's do exactly the same but with wallpaper to make it harder for the next person to decorate." Have got some great ideas for pictures in the house. Will photo them when I've done them and put them on here. Wish Evie didn't tread food everywhere as I'd get the carpets replaced, too, but there's no point with a little toddler, is there? Might just get pretty rugs and minimise the carpets as much as I can. Am off to Mutha's and Fatha's tomorrow for a very important meeting that will revolutionise my business. Will tell you more in a week or two. Oh, it's like the best thing ever! So excited, I am. Next

You can order raw foods, my products and lots more online. or by phone. Give us a tinkle on 08700 113 119.

Copyright © 2000-2008 Shazzie | All Rights Reserved | Privacy statement | UK raw food events | Raw food UK | Special things | Products | About