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2005 -- April's snippets Evie and me at Jane and Wayne's wedding Evie and her Gran with me at the wedding Me and Evie before the wedding. What happened to my hat? Evie and her Dada The happy couple Well, as you can see from all the above stuff, I've got a lot going on. Just as well, as the busyness keeps my mind from straying into that horrible downward spiralling "Why can't I keep a relationship together" swap... Am dealing with all this by doing lots of great stuff, listening to Tony Robbins (positive programming), and keeping wine out of the house. When I split with Ferny, I did drink a bit too much, and that does me no good at all. Am not doing that this time, there are much more positive ways to get through a relationship break up than drinking. Anyway, apart from the odd sad moment which is to be expected, I'm happier now than I have been for over a year. God knows if I'll ever meet anyone that I'm compatible with, and that I fancy loads, it seems so tough, that. So for now it's just me and My Blossom, looking forward to a good summer in our new house. Was going to go to Malaga with Auntie Shirley and Uncle Ray but it's at around the same time as my house completes so I can't risk it. Will go on hols with Lisa Currants probably later in the summer. Am not having another year of no hols! Matt should have taken me away last year before I had Evie!!! Hm. Must stop that... 19th April -- Wow, had a great few weeks. Went to stay with mum and dad for a week, which really helped clear my head. Realised I was never going to attract the right man all the time I'm slagging them off and blaming all of them for the state of the world! Did lots of work on that. Still catch myself going "that's just typical of a man, isn't it" and then correct myself. Never realised how I could be so abundant in so much in my life, but my man wallet seems permanently skint. No more, I tell you. Anyway, went to Jane's hen night on Saturday and some really clever person let off some pepper spray in the pub. We all started coughing and left, but there was a girl hyperventillating outside. Now, because I went through this all the time at airports for years, I knew how to help her. Once I'd got her sorted she goes "Are you a nurse" and I'm like "No, I just do breathing". Didn't know what else to say. Anyway, then I went home as Matt was looking after Evie and she wouldn't eat her dinner because she wanted booboo and night nights with mama. Now, Jane's mum came round with some flowers for me and picked me up to take me to the hen night. Why did I deserve flowers? Read on... I'm in Norwich last Wednesday and I went to a really nice posh wedding dress shop that does dresses for guests, too. I tried on this dress that was totally perfect for me and I looked amazing (even if I do say so myself!). Mum, Jennie and Evie loved it so I gulped at the price and thought "Oh well, I'm not paying a mortgage this month, so I can do this. And I did also think I deserved it after all I've just been through. And last year when I was at 2 weddings I had to wear the same dress twice as I was 8 months pregnant." So I bought The Most Expensive Dress In The World. I get home, chat to Jane's mum (Evie's gran) and we start comparing that dresses that we've bought. And then as the conversation went on, it dawned on her that my dress was the same as hers. Lots of panicking and discussions later, I decided that I couldn't wear the same dress as the MotB, so I sent mine back and I can't even get my money back, they only do credit notes. So I have a year to keep going to the shop and trying dresses on for no special occasion at all. How gutted was I? BUT, I then found a dress for a 15th of the price which is also stunning, and Jane's mum said I could borrow hers to go to my cousin's wedding in in June. Am still trying to think what the lesson there is, because surely there must be one? Oh, did you know about my new book? Wrote it with David Wolfe, and we've been working on it for nearly 2 years. It's one of my secret projects that's just coming to fruition. Very lovely book -- full colour and over 60 raw chocolate recipes -- most of them have photos so you know what you're making, which helps. Very exciting. It's already for sale, and I'll be doing a book signing at my event next month. We had some professional piccies done the other day -- me, Matt and Evie. They're fab. We bought a copyright-free disk, so I can show you them soon. We loved the experience. It was at Zoom in Milton Keynes. OK, think that's all I can afford timewise with you, my precious ones. Have a lovely day. xxx Next

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