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2003 -- April's snippets Saturday 5th April -- Must just tell you about my friend Cindy's new Quantam Touch Workshops -- Learn how to do this powerful hands on healing technique that is easy to master. You will explore basic techniques and learn how to do Quantum-Touch for yourself and others. She's over in the UK this very soon so go support her and get touched! Now, also happy birthday to my friends Jessie and Si for yesterday. Hope it was beautiful for you both. Not that you were celebrating it together. Unlike my sis and her hubby who both have the same birthday. Strange, that. OK, what's going on... See how I've gone all Ricky Butcher. "What's going on?" Erm, well. 2 days until book goes to print so I've been lounging about peeling grapes and sunbathing. Not. Have had barely any sleep, except bum has now gone to sleep. Just have to fiddle with the index and faff with the cover, and that's it. My book and myself can both go to bed. I don't think I remember life before this book. I've put my whole heart into it, and am so looking forward to it coming out. I so want you to read it! Anyway, I'll stop going on about it, I'm sure there's more to life. What will I do with my time now? Oh, like that's a joke, I have *plenty* to do! Am off out tonight to celebrate Jessie's birthday. We're off for a boogie, so I'll be able to wake my sleepy bottom up. I think it'll be a double celebration. Phew. When I completed the index yesterday I laughed out loud like a mad woman. My neighbours will start to talk. Oh, speaking of neighbours, listen to this: A couple of weeks ago I was weeding the side part of my garden. My neighbour came up to me and goes "There's a story about that" I asked what and she goes "The girl who lived there before, not the last couple, but the one before. Well, she used to have grass there. Then she planted a load of wild flowers, but my husband didn't know and mowed them all down. She came banging on our door and really had a big go at him" My face was unresponsive. "Oh, then she planted some more." I looked her straight in the eye and said calmly "That was me." She then tried to wriggle out of it "Oh, you've changed" etc. Fancy gossiping about someone to that person. This is a big lesson in why you don't gossip, guys! I was laughing inside, but wanted her to learn from this, so I just kept really straight faced. The worst bit about it was that Vera got really upset. I used to have Vera before I moved away, and I've still got her. She's a big bright yellow tart, and is sooo recognisable. I should have said "My car's obviously changed a lot, too". Anyway, it kept me chuckling to myself for the rest of the day! Poor woman. OK, so am about to have a bath. It's still dark, I shouldn't be awake yet, but energy levels are great! I've never felt so good. Oh, and I've got one of my mates to clean for me so my house is all lovely. I couldn't do that and finish the book! Oh, enough about this book already. Am getting boring! Muchos besos, bonitos xxxx Tuesday 8th April -- Ah, finally the book is at the printers! Its now available to order, too! We'll send them out either on the 29th April or the following few days. Now, you have to read this! This is what happened yesterday when I was trying to get the files to the printers! CD writer broke, decided to email files 11.00 Files sent successfully until Norton Antivirus chipped in and got stuck 11.30 I disabled NAV and tried again 11.45 Nothing at all with attatchments would send 12.00 Tried sending separate files from Yahoo account 13.00 Realised that anything over 3mb won't get sent 13.10 Panicked 13.11 Spoke sternly to computer 13.12 Thought computer was too full for email to function 13.15 Deleted loads of files, which I couldn't back up as CD writer was broke 14.00 Uninstalled CD writer 14.30 Reinstalled CD writer 15.00 Started writing to CD, it was working! 15.05 Printer man rang: "Can you bring a print out for us, too" 15.15 Sent file to print. 15.10 Printer ate the first page and spat it out like it was vomit 15.11 Printer kept eating 5 pages together and printing on multiple pages 15.30 Quark then said "a file is missing" 15.45 God, it was one that I'd deleted 15.46 Realised had a back up from when CD writer wasn't broke 15.47 Rifled through tip on desk to find CD 15.49 Found picture, Quark told me it was different 15.50 Looked at picture, it was an old one! 15.51 Realised I'd deleted one of my images, trying to make space to send it! 15.52 Started up Photoshop, while printer's turning out other pages 15.53 Printer is shagged so I have to remove pages one by one or it eats them 15.54 Found original image, old image and did some quick shufty editing, glad that I grew up with Photoshop installed in my brain15.55 Added pic to Quark and then tried to breathe 15.56 Print finished. Said I'd be there by 16.15. It's 16.06 and printers is 30 miles away Drove like mad woman, but obviously with lots of due care and attention 16.07 Found printing place without a map or directions. Was totally using the force by this point 16.30 Went into reception, signed in, couldn't remember Vera's reg plate even though I've had her 3 years, my head was such cotton wool 16.33 Breathed. 16.34 What a day! So today I did a bit of work and then laid in bed and felt this kind of wave of "you can relax" come over me. I was just dropping off when my cleaner rang to see if she could come round. Then I thought "bum, can't let her see the house like this" so tried to tidy up before she got over. Ah, it's the best feeling having a cleaner! You know when you just haven't got time to do everything in the world, you have to give something up. So of course it makes sense to give up the stuff you dislike the most, doesn't it? Anyway, am going to stop being a book bore now and remember that there's more to life. Once online shop's done, I've got a lot of living to make up for. Friday 11th April -- Oh, I did a bit of living this week. Went out for Jessie's birthday to a club. Blimey the music was sooo fab. I just was dancing and dancing and dancing. Now. There's something I've not been telling you because I had to keep it a secret, but now I can tell you. I've been testing a special InnerTalk CD called Natural Breast Enlargement. I've been using it for about 2 or 3 months, and thought that as I was actually going out, I'd see if anyone noticed. When you work alone people don't generally notice anything. Blimey, did people notice! All my mates were prodding them, expecting me to have a padded bra on. No-one could believe it! I've not let them get *big* or anything, I don't want big boobs, but I used the CD just until they were fuller and nicer shaped. Anyway, I was walking around the club and some bloke goes to me "My, you're perky, aren't you?". Me! Perky! Nobody has ever said that to me in my life! And then something amazing happened. I'm not joking, about 50 men were trying to chat me up, just because I had boobs all of a sudden. Blimming amazing, the whole thing. Men are so funny! Anyway, in the end it got a bit tedious "What's your name, what do you do?", so I kept saying I was called Mary. I just couldn't be doing with it, as I so wasn't on the pull that night, I just wanted to boogie to get some energy out after sitting at computer doing book for so long. Well, am amazed at how boobs are, but am more amazed at how shallow men are! Tee hee! Anyway, of course I've added them to my InnerTalk sales collection, you can order them by phone (08700 113 119) and you'll soon be able to order on my web site. V. handy, that. You know, if these CDs stop just one woman from being butchered by the cosmetic surgery industry, I'll be v happy. There's no need to do that, we have everything within us, we just need help getting it out. How can anyone volunteer to have bags of jelly stuff put in their body? Ugh! So last night my mates and me went off to see anarchist-comedian-god Mark Thomas. We saw him about 7 years ago, and he was fab then. He's still fab -- get to go see him if you can. I'm not saying what he talked about, but blimey it was soooo amazing. Anyway, he was saying about this demo he went on to and he was marching with his vegan mates. Then he goes "Well, they were kind of slouching as they didn't have any strength." Funny, I'd relate to that when I was a cooked vegan. Ah, but raw vegans are so big and hard, though!! OK, think that's about it for now. Am enjoying not working a billion hours a day and having a social life again. Phew, but book was worth it. Aw, you're going to love it. Oh, did you know you can buy it now? Either by PayPal or phone (08700 113 119). Check out the details here! Thursday 17th April -- Hmmm. Dr Atkins is dead. When I heard about it, I felt really weird. The news today has been saying "UK health experts say the Atkins diet is bad for you and could lead to osteoporosis" and then he dies. Well, he had a heart attack a while ago, which of course he didn't attribute to the Atkins diet. But now he's gone. I suppose he doesn't care now if his death affects sales of his books... The passing of a soul who made millions aware of the impact food has on their bodies should always be respected and honoured. So, rest in peace, Dr Atkins, and please don't eat cows and pigs in heaven -- they don't deserve it. Other stuff. Had a fantabulous weekend. Went to stay with Joe, and like every five seconds I was going "Joe, can I have a sauna". I unravelled a billion typing knots in my body that weekend! Went to get durian (my first this year, can you believe that!), had young coconuts, enjoyed a trance party (bumped into Dionne! Hello Dionne!!), hung out at Spitalfields. Now there's a story... We turned up at Abes' hemp stall on Sunday morning. Loitering about a bit, we had brekkie. I had a green juice in my hand and a raw sandwich (both yummy and moreish btw). Next thing we knew, Joe and me were covered in green stuff. I wondered if there'd been an earth tremour or something, which had made my green juice go all over. Then I smelled something gross. It was a pigeon that had pooed all over us!! My goodness, that wasn't a raw poo! It was so disgustingly smelly that we were going "eurgh" lots! So we went to the loos to wash ourselves. Had to was my hair and all sorts. Then went back to stall and got replacement food. Felt v lucky at getting replacement food, but was still in shock at cooked=pigeon-poo smell. Ugh! I notice this when I go to public loos, cooked women have this putrid rotting stench flowing from them. I smell like flowers and fruit! I know what I'd rather!! Oh, Must apologise to slight piss-take of vegans in earlier snippet. Of course, I love vegans, I am one! Was just commenting on feeling weak as a cooked vegan, but it seems some took it as a stereotype comment, but that wasn't intended. So, vegans, you are all wonderful, and living outside Animal-Karmaland. But do be aware: As much as you love animals, love yourself too. Loving yourself is the only way to making The Biggest Difference On Earth. Believe that you can make changes, believe in abundance, and believe in creating your own reality. Believe that you deserve the best, most freeist life possible, then you'll be able to grant that to our lovely animals, too. Don't suffer for anyone else's cause, it doesn't do any good in the long-run! Vegan thang over with. Spent lots of time in garden -- getting neglect of ex-tenants sorted. UK has a heatwave at the mo. It was 26 degrees yesterday, but a bit windy today. Still spent mucho tiempo in my bikini, though. Oh bless my new online shop! Have millions of ideas for products, but it's already got some nice stuff. Have a peek, and see. All the InnerTalk CDs are on there, so I'm going to take them off my site here. Am making Shazzie.com less commercial, just selling my own stuff and pointing to the shop for other stuff. Much less messy, though it's tough to divide private life and work when you're in it for the service of it all. Ah, Cindy's coming to visit tomorrow! She's over here from the US doing Quantam Touch workshops and so I'm going to show her around Cambridge. How sweet! Friday 18th April -- Blimey, forgot to mention this! When I was at Joe's the other day, I found a tape measure lying around. So I measured myself. Are you ready for this? I'm a whole inch taller now than I was before I went raw! I'm now 5'5"! I really used to be 5'4", for all my adult life! I imagine yoga has a lot to do with it, as it's stopped me being like a squashed scrap car, but great nutrition may well have played a part. I'm so excited. At this rate I can become a supermodel when I'm 43! Have always wanted to be a bit taller. My sister's dead tall, like about 8 foot or something. Ha! I'm tall!!! Seems I can resculpt any part of me that I want. What shall I work on next...? Garden's starting to look lovely now, but hands are like brillo pads. Oh, you know what? When I close my eyes I see flowers and leaves and plants, all beautiful and swirly. That's what happens when you've looked at something for so long. I remember it when I'd play chess with my dad when we used to work together. Oh, no. We were working, we didn't play chess, really. Ah, can't wait til garden is all gorgeous. It really won't be long. Will do some more tomorrow before I take Cindy punting down the river Cam! I'm going to get some strawbs from Sainsbury's and we can eat them on the boat. Fab! Am starting to slow down now after mega-work hours. Have a 70s CD on right now, it's great for bringing me down slowly. Can't just jump from those hours to nothing. Am in time-transition! "This is the only way that we should fly" -- that's what I'm listening to right now, "More than a woman" -- Think I might boogie a bit... Sunday 27th April -- Had a little gathering of friends round last night. Tried to find games to play but couldn't -- they've got lost somewhere. So we ended up playing charades which had us in stitches. My mate Skippy acting out The Karma Sutra was funny, but the highlight must have been TBH attempting "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts". He was miming it as "I have a lovely bunch of coconuts" as he's worked with language a lot, so decided to correct the title. Much to the "I don't get this one" feelings of all of us. Anyway. Workwise, I've finally got all my delights vids together! Am v pleased about this, and they are v. popular and loved. LISTEN -- if you buy them, you have to play it right to the end as we put a load of out-takes on. I think they're the best bit, they're sooo funny! You get to see my cameraman/editor, Skippy doing a great impression of me! And the vanilla scene had me folded up and unable to breathe with laughter. And as laughter is so therapeutic, and a great detox helper, you have to watch the out takes for the sake of your health, OK! Oh, I get my book tomorrow. Well, a few thousand of them. I won't be reading all of them ;-) So, if you've ordered it, we'll be packing them up tomorrow, and you'll get it Tuesday or a few days later. This is great. Am excited about book, but am also excited about having a holiday. Am taking a month off and won't be doing a stroke of work. This is odd for a workaholic, but it's the only way I can do it -- if I work, I work for hours, days and months without stopping, so when I stop, I have to do it for a looong time! So, Snippets will also be taking a well-deserved break, so please don't nag me (like some of you do if I don't write ;-) Now then... If you're in the UK, remember my event in London on Tuesday. You'll be able to buy some of my products without postage charges, so you can stock up for gifts and all that! My online shop is getting 2 toiletry ranges this coming week. Organic Blue and Earth Friendly Baby are making an appearance. Organic Blue is certified organic and is approved of by the Vegetarian society and the Vegan Society. V nice, ethical products. Of course I've tested them out myself ;-) Tuesday 29th April -- Ah, look at this! My new baby is here! Have gone all soppy now! Next

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