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February "It is your diary which helped me to want to be raw even when I was eating cooked over the cold months. It is so nice to hear of the failures rather than the "this is what you should eat, and this is what you should not eat". It made me feel that raw fooders can be human." -- Carol, UK February 2001 In a nutshell... Moved to Spain! Thursday 1st February 2001 A client came round today and wants me to do some work for him. I've told him I'm going to Spain and he's happy that I do it from there. Oh, can life get any easier? Went to Lisa's this afternoon, we decided to take a wander and ended up in the pub. Oh, I had some wine. This is now officially a habit and needs to officially end! She's looking so lovely all pregnant and blooming. I'm so proud of her for going through with this, it's such a big deal taking on this responsibility, but it's really changed her for the better, bless her. Friday 2nd February 2001 Went out with Karen A tonight for a meal, back to La Margherita. People must think I've got shares in that place. I'm glad I got to see her before I went. We had a good catch up, nattered for ages, we did! She showed me where she'd broken her wrist and how it hadn't healed. I put my hands on it and it went all hot and fizzy. She said that her wrist was paralysed and in the same position as it was in when it was being reset. We stayed in this hot fizzy paralysis for about 10 minutes which must have looked funny, as it looked like we were holding hands across the restaurant table. I think she'd need more than one session to heal a bone that's been badly set, but I hope it did something to her. I wish I had time to see all my other friends before I go, and my family, but I can't -- there are too many of them and not enough days. Saturday 3rd February 2001 Met mum to say goodbye to her. We got lost in Thetford trying to find a pub to sit in. Wanted to see the boys as well, but it was raining so hard, that we couldn't have played in the forest. English weather! Monday 5th February 2001 Arun came over to Karen's to help me pack my car and say goodbye. Aw, I'll miss him! I had tonnes of stuff in my car and wondered if I'd make it all the way there with it all. Vera said it was OK as it wasn't heavy, just bulky. Said goodbye to Karen and cried with her. My God, how weird to not be with her now! We've become so close. Drove down to London to visit Joe for the night. Got lost in rush hour night traffic while there was a tube strike on. How sensible. Eventually found my way there and wanted to get durian to take with me, but couldn't. Oh. There'll be no durian in Spain! Tuesday 6th February 2001 Didn't really sleep last night as I was so excited about my journey. Early in the morning I waved goodbye to Joe and drove down to Dover. As the ferry left England I watched the misty morning cliffs of Dover disappear into the sky. Sucking on a blood orange, I was getting covered in sea spray -- and it felt so good. This moment will forever be in my heart: it was like the cutting of an umbilical cord. I was finally on my own, fending for myself and caring only for myself. As I sat in my car at Calais, waiting to drive on the wrong side of the road for the first time in ten years, I trembled and my nostrils turned white. Maybe this was a small amount of fear but I think it was mostly excitement and anticipation at my journey ahead. I travelled on the wings of angels for seventeen hours today, and managed to get through most of France. I only stopped to refuel, stretch my legs and eat. I had a tiny appetite, so I ate a small amount of oranges and melon. At just around midnight I found a beautiful guest house and finally went to sleep: the first proper rest in 3 nights. In the morning, I had tangerines for breakfast in the company of about five little French children. As I was leaving, they all gave me a kiss and a hug. Even though I hadn't been able to say much to them, I felt the unconditional love of these little treasures, and knew they were communicating to me on a deep level. Wednesday 7th February 2001 As I drove out of France, I crossed the breathtaking Pyrenees mountains and travelled along the East and South coast of Spain. Raw living gives me so much energy and concentration that I didn't stop driving until 5am the next morning. By that time, I'd reached a beach and slept in my car for 3 hours before going to find a guest house. I found somewhere with its own private pebbly beach, which my room had direct access to. I spent the whole day reading, walking, meditating and just being. I did what I love to do. I loved staying here, but the next day I had to move on. Thursday 8th February 2001 I was only about a hundred miles from my destination, and eager to see inside my new home. I carried on along the coast, falling in love with the beautiful mango and cherimoya trees. Over the course of this journey I'd felt so happy inside that I had welled quite up a few times, but didn't cry. On the first night in my lovely rented house, I took my photo album off the shelf. I'd made it especially for this journey, and it was full of pictures of love. As I turned the pages, I looked at my past and present. I think I even saw my future in there, somehow, too. I looked up out of my window, past my olive trees, into the orange-covered valley below, and then on to the giant mountains in the distance. The Andalucian moon was full and I knew its strength had guided me here. With a sigh of very deep gratitude, I managed to shed a tear. But unlike all those tears before it, this wasn't one of pain, it was one of love, joy, and hope for the future. At long last, I'd found my freedom... Next

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