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Monday 1st May 2000 Day 120 woke at 9 am -- I always sleep longer at my parents' house. For the first time ever at theirs I wasn't cold that night in bed. My breakfast was 2 bananas and 1 papaya almost immediately after getting up. I think I did this again to prove that I eat. Silly. I went to a couple of pubs with mum as it's her birthday. I only drank one bottle of water and got really cold as we were trying to sit outside to catch the sun. Had a really long chat about health and food. I don't want to nag and I know it sometimes seems like that's what I'm doing, but I care so much about them and want them to be better. I also want them to be happier and this diet will do that for them, but like most people, they won't let go of the familiarities that cooked food offers. For dinner back at my mum's I had a salad with an avocado, celery, cucumber and some other stuff. I also had a glass of their home made elderberry wine which I actually really liked because it was sweet. I played with my nephews during the afternoon (Playing with children for me is laying on the settee and having them manipulate my arms and legs a bit -- they'll sometimes tickle my feet if I'm really lucky.) The kids are really cute, and seemed to be closer to me this time than before. I never spoil them with gifts but they seem to like seeing me for some odd reason. This time was different, though -- they just were very happy to be around me. Maybe they could feel my new energy? For my mum's birthday tea I went to a load of trouble to make a 3 course raw meal. Hmm, they wolfed it down, didn't savour it, didn't talk or pause. Something wasn't right there. James, my eldest nephew, had helped make the food with his friend. He then waited on us -- bless him. Both the lads tried the food in all stages of preparation and weren't full of the usual adult questions such as "Where do you get your protein from?". Instead, they used their intuition to touch, smell and taste the food. They were both impressed with my culinary skills and said that I should go on "Ready, Steady, Cook". I said that it'd have to be "Ready, Steady, Uncook" -- but they didn't get the fact that this food wasn't cooked -- that it was just combined fruits nuts and vegetables and it didn't matter to them. Hail the younger generation. So the food we ate was: Soup -- Avocado, tomatoes, basil and olive oil coleslaw salad -- The coleslaw was carrot, cabbage and onion with a dressing made from lemon, cashew, garlic and olive oil, which was served in a big lettuce leaf. The dips were avocado and salsa (left over from yesterday) and I lots of little salad items such as sliced spring onions, cucumbers, tomatoes etc. Pudding -- Strawberries and Choccie pudding with banana and cashew dip. After that, I went round to see my sister. I was privileged to be taught Pokemon by James. I felt young again. I love the names they all have -- my favourite is Oddish who's a bit like a raddish. Cute. My sister told me a story about my middle nephew, Dean who has ginger hair. The other day Dean had his face painted as a tiger (as they do) and was too tired to wash it all off that night. He was staying at my dad's house so he let him get away with it as that's what granddads are for. In the morning, my dad made Dean get a shower. From the bathroom, my dad hears Dean say: "Granddad, granddad, all the colour's coming out of my hair!" My dad when to see what was wrong and saw Dean in a tiger paint puddle looking all worried that his hair had gone see-through. Don't lose that innocence, Dean. My sister had the telly on just like my parents did, and wanted to turn it off and her husband wouldn't. I tried to talk to her but the mind machine drew all our energy out. "Watch me, watch me," it said. So we did for a bit but then I drove home. I got home at about 10 and went to sleep shortly after. When my family come to see me I make such an effort -- put nice music on and make sure everyone's talking or happy doing something. I wish this depressive society would loosen it's grip on the people I love. Tuesday 2nd May 2000 Day 121 I woke up at about 7.30 and had an apple at 11, a sharon at 12.45 and a giant juicy mango 2pm. For my tea at 7pm I had a big salad with 2 little gems, 1 sweetcorn and 5 cherry toms a quarter of a cucumber. The dressing was 2 tomatoes, some olive oil, some cucumber and half a lemon juice. We went to the pictures to see Kevin and Perry go Large. It was funny but even the anticipation got me as I was giggling when the British Classification Board Certificate came on. It got worse from then onwards. If you want to see a gross, sad, funny, over-acted film then this is the one. 2 hours of Cathy Burke dressed as a bloke killed me. I went to bed at 1.30 after eating some dates, and went to sleep at 2.30. For some of today, I've been tasting chips and shepherds pie -- detox is so good at times, the taste of chips without the bad effects. Wednesday 3rd May 2000 Day 122 woke 8.30 and had 4 apple bananas at 9.45. Oh they are so sweet and different tasting to common bananas. I was so busy all day, but some of it was self-inflicted as I had to get my legs waxed and have a pedicure ready for my holidays. Had to work late, though. Hmpfh. When I got in about 8pm I was sooo hungry I made a big salad with 2 avocados, loads of leaves, 6 tomatoes, some mushrooms and aubergines that I've had marinating for a bit and some cucumber. That was very satisfying. I still had room for 2 dates though. I had 2 glasses of wine today as well. I was feeling so tired and down about work stuff that I just needed to switch off. Even though I want redundancy and want to start a business, it's still very exhausting thinking about it all the time. I went to sleep at about 12. Thursday 4th May 2000 Day 123 Woke up at 7 which was a bit ungodly so I went back to sleep until 8. Had lots of meetings to get through today. At 10.30 I had an apple, and 11.15 a salad made of 1 avocado, 2 tomatoes, leaves, and marinated mushrooms. At 2.30 I had a giant drippy mango but it was a bit too fibrous. At 7.00 I had a salad of 1 little gem lettuce, 2 of sticks celery, 1 yellow pepper, guacamole made with 2 mushrooms (for a meatier flavour), half clove garlic, juice 1 orange a bit of olive oil. At 9.30 I had mushroom sarnies. They were 4 mushrooms with the tops cut off and filled with slices of avocado rounds and dried aubergine rounds. Unusual taste -- very earthy, moreish and satisfying. After that, I just kept feeling hungrier -- so I ate the rest of the avocado sandwiched between dried aubergine rounds (I've finished them off now) and then some dates with almond butter. Then I had 2 glasses of wine because I'm still too overwhelmed by changes at work and I needed to numb my mind as I couldn't make use of anything I was thinking of. Friday 5th May 2000 Day 124 Woke at 9.10 with a blocked nose from drinking -- what do I expect? had a papaya at 10.30, a banana at 12, and another at 12.30. At dinner time I had a Calvados and was amazed to note that the roof of my mouth physically shrivelled up for several hours. It's not that amazing, I suppose as it's such strong alcohol and I'm made of purer stuff these days. I had a salad from Nadia's at 2.30 -- just made with avocados, tomatoes, basil and cress with a bit of black pepper. That was very nice. I started feeling like I had cystitis coming on at about 6pm so I drove home and got in the bath. That's the best place for me when I get an attack. It was medium-painful (not as bad as it used to be) and I was weeing small amounts of blood which happens every time I get cystitis. I felt a bit thrushy, too but that went away. I was hungry so when Stevie got home, I asked him to bring me a mango and my 4 sharons into the bathroom so that I could see what was ripe to eat. I ate the 2 most ripe sharons but left the other 2 and thought how gorgeously ripe they'll be when I get back off my holiday. I ate the mango, making as much mess as I could (as I was in the bath, it didn't matter!) It was a beautiful experience and one that I'll repeat next time I'm in the bath. If only my bath was big enough for 2... We were going to the pictures to see Galaxy Quest so when my pain subsided I got out of the bath, put some fake tan on (err.. why?!)and got ready. I ate a small pack of walnuts in the car. I told Stevie that I'd eat the other sharons when I came back from my holidays. He said that I'd eaten them all, which I disagreed with. Then he worked out that he'd thrown them away with the peelings and they were now outside in the big dirty bin. Bless my poor sharons. The film was funny. I went to sleep at about 12. Saturday 6th May 2000 Day 125 Woke at 8.30 with orange palms from the fake tan. Did some washing and other houseworky things but it was such a good day that I went outside to drink my breakfast at 10.30. It was orange and strawberry juice -- very light which is just what I wanted. I love light breakfasts more and more. Being outside made me want to stay outside so I made myself useful by oiling the table and chairs and weeding for 3 hours. I gave my vegetable patch an overhaul ready for planting when I get back from my holidays. My rocket's only allowed a quarter of the patch so I pulled some up. It had all bolted anyway. I sat in my vegetable patch eating rocket and its flowers for a while, feeling good. The flowers are so sweet and delicate. I had an apple at about 2.30 but didn't have time to eat anything else as I had to finish off the work I was doing for Fresh. Stevie drove me over to Ely with his top down as it was such a beautiful day. My hair got all tangled. I bought Blatant Raw Foodist Propaganda and got Raw Power so I could read those as well. I've been so busy recently that I've not had time for a good book so I'm going to make the most of it. I was supposed to print out the stuff I'd been doing for Fresh on Friday night after work but the file was buggy and wouldn't print so I missed the last post and wondered why I wasn't supposed to post the file that night. Anyway, Karen rang this morning to say my copy of FGF had arrived and if I had time I could pick it up to take on holiday. I told her about the file and that I'd have to print out the stuff today and was going to drive it over -- so that's why I missed the post last night, I was supposed to pick up FGF. We got back from Karen's and Waitrose (where I spoilt myself to some raw macadamia nuts) and I had half an hour to pack and finish making tea to take to Karen's (A) tonight. Why have I got so many Karen's in my life? Four Karen's are really prominent in my life right now. It makes writing about them hard. You should see my filey fax - "Dinner with Karen(A)", "meeting with Karen(O)", Drink with Karen (Jess), Natter with Karen (Fresh) ... And I have a cousin called Karen. Too much! One of them must go! Blimey, and they say Sharon's a common name. Me and Karen, both ravenous, ate dinner. I made Courgetti and rawgu and a Corn ring. The spaghetti was the usual recipe but with whole pine nuts and home grown oregano added at the end. The salad was really pretty. I'd made 2 corn chips a couple of weeks earlier but the shape was round (about the size of a dinner plate) with a hole in the middle to fit my dehydrator. I sandwiched them together with guacamole then piled the salad (leaves, mixed bean sprouts, chive buds and rocket flowers from the garden) then dolloped the rest of the guacamole on top and added some macadamia nuts. Karen prepared for having a raw meal by buying some salmon to go with it (she didn't know if it would be filling) but she really liked the meal and was surprised at how full she was. I'm glad she liked it and showed her appreciation. I think I need to be appreciated... I liked it too. When I'm doing food for others it's more complex than what I normally eat so I sat on the settee, stuffed and read some of FGF while Karen packed. One of Karen's cats laid on my knee and made puddings and purred a lot. A bit later I scratched an itch on my eye then it started to hurt so my cat allergy still exists. My raw food hasn't cured that one yet. I had a Cointreau and some dates and macadamia nuts a bit later and fell asleep on the settee at about 11.30. Karen's dog, Max, got the salmon. Sunday 7th May 2000 Day 126 Woke up at 1.50 sweating. I couldn't get back to sleep so went upstairs and read for a while. The taxi came for us at 3.15 and we got to the airport to find no queues at the check in desk. We wished it was always like that. I felt a bit disoriented and my words kept coming out wrong but apart from that I felt fine and not tired. Karen had ordered a vegan meal for me on the flight and if it was like the scrummy breakfast I got on the way back from Ibiza last year I'd have not been in a position to resist it. Luckily, the airline had ballsed it up (they do that about 60% of the time in my 13 years of flying as a vegan) -- so they offered me the veggie option. Yeah right, I'm going to eat something smothered in cow puss. Divine intervention, I couldn't break my rawness because of a cock up, so I ate my papaya out of my packing up box. I went to sleep soon after that but I had to get a blanket because I was cold. Why do they make aeroplanes so cold? When we got to Faro airport I had a couple of dates and macadamias just to keep awake and felt quite alive on the bus to the hotel. Our apartment is so lovely. We've got a bedroom each, a bathroom each and 2 balconies. It's a bit cloudy but I got about 5 hours sunbathing in. In the Sunfood Diet Success System, David Wolfe goes into some detail about raw fooders not burning. I usually burn and get bad prickly heat when I so much as look at the sun so was truly amazed when this time I had no burning at all from 5 hours solid sunbathing with no suntan lotion at all. Karen (who's naturally got much darker skin than me) caught the sun when we were having dinner (I had salad with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, carrot, olives and mushrooms -- but the olives and mushrooms weren't raw). Karen also used suntan lotion and could only sunbathe for a couple of hours before starting to burn and going back in the apartment. I just carried on sunbathing with no lotion and feeling the wonderful effects of the sun. So uncooked remains uncooked in the sun. I suppose that's why fruit on a tree doesn't bake in the midday sun? I wonder if it's something to do with the chemical make up of cooked people that makes them sizzle, or if it's because the toxins in their body come out (as the sun is a great detoxifier) and then bake on the surface of the skin, a bit like a marinade? Isn't that something, though? Oh yeah, it'll also be something to do with the high amounts of beta carotene in me... I came in at about 4.30 and ate the rest of my dates (5) and nuts. As it's a Sunday, the supermarket is closed and I so wanted to check out the local fruit. We went into Alvor town for dinner and the taxi driver took us to the harbour where there are a load of seafood restaurants. On the street there are barbecues with loads of fish on. I thought there'd be really good salads here but the raw ingredients are sparse. They've got a big thing about cooked carrots, they're everywhere. They appeared in Karen's salad and they also serve cooked carrots with olives as an appetiser. We wandered about a bit and I was really taken by how lovely it all was. The locals are very small and I wondered why. There are lots of dogs (mainly small ones!) running around the streets. Karen says that they are all owned but the owners treat them the same as Brits treat their cats -- allowing roaming freedom. It's much nicer than being cooped up in a house all day on their own. A real little dog community, there was. We found a fruit and veg shop that closes at 8pm so I decided to go there after my meal to get some provisions. My dinner comprised of olives to start (they were raw, marinated in garlic and herbs!) They were delicious. My main course was a big salad but I think they put cooked mushrooms on it. Worse than that, with hindsight, I think they cooked the mushrooms in butter. I can't remember the taste of butter after 13 years, so it may or may not have been. I shouldn't have eaten them. I then had a fruit salad which wasn't necessary at all, but I had it all the same. Unfortunately, we decided to have champagne and started chatting to some blokes and I never made it to the fruit and vegetable shop. As we were there for the night, I also had 2 more dishes of olives. Karen and I had about one and a half bottles of champagne each and I also had 3 ammarettos which I could have also done without. Monday 8th May 2000 Day 126 Woke up at 8am, it was nice and sunny and I think I realised I was still drunk when I was doing handstands in the apartment. One way to avoid hangovers, I'm sure. I wasn't thinking about whether I'd drink or not on this holiday. I suppose I thought I'd see how I felt. I thought I should soak some of the alcohol up with some bread so ate half a baguette. Immediately, the inside of my nose started to close and my teeth felt odd. The roof of my mouth went numb. I'm not surprised this happened after not eating flour for such a long time, but I felt like eating bread as the champagne had altered my balance that I'd achieved before. Karen and I went shopping and bought up most of the fruit and veg shop. The locals stared at us with eyes on stalks as we spent what might have been a week's wages to them on fruit. We had some dinner while we were in Alvor. I had a fresh orange juice and a mixed salad but only picked at it as the bread had done it's business for me. When I was in the fruit shop I bought a tiny bread roll and stuffed it in my mouth as we left, armed with another fresh orange juice. Bread, eh? The opioid bakery strikes again. We went to a really nice restaurant tonight called the Titanic, with the blokes we met yesterday. We spent all night having a laugh while they told unfunny yet cute jokes. My meal was smashing -- to start I had a couple of wedges of melon (this melon tastes nothing like the melon you usually get served in UK restaurants), and then they came out with a beautiful salad of lettuce, avocado, cucumber, tomato and a tiny bit of cooked asparagus (like one stalk). I think I had a bottle and a half of wine. I think I also had an espresso and some olives at the end of the evening. Hmmm... As we went back to the apartment I was skipping and doing cartwheels -- feeling full of energy after sitting in the sun for quite some time in the afternoon. After chattering most of the night, I think I got to sleep at about 3am because I was cold and couldn't sleep through this massive thunderstorm outside. Hoped it would rain all of the water out of the sky so we could have a sunny day tomorrow. Tuesday 9th May 2000 Day 127 Woke at 8 again and ate a chunk of bread. How raw. I ate a tomato and avocado salad and half a melon and then we went shopping because it was raining. We ended up in a shopping centre and at 2.30 found a lovely Israeli restaurant where I had hummous (cooked), mixed salad made of carrot, tomato, lettuce and onion. In the supermarket we found some tamarinds! I bought a couple of packets of them along with some other provisions and went back to the apartment. At 5pm I ate 3 tamarinds -- not because I needed to but because I wanted to. We went to a restaurant at 9pm and I had a wedge of melon to start and then a lovely tomato salad and an avocado on the side with olive oil dressing. There was a bit of a communication problem here -- I was asking for a main course sized salad with certain ingredients on and I was prepared to pay extra but they couldn't quite get it. They just nodded and brought me a starter sized meal. We met the blokes afterwards for a drink. There was a powercut in the bar and so the band started playing acoustically. It turns out that the whole of Portugal had a blackout because their electrical geezers were on strike about something. It made the night interesting, though. Not that it wasn't. I really wished I could sing because I'd have got up there and belted some out. But I didn't want them to shoot me so I thought against it. I think I only drank one bottle of wine tonight. At the end of the evening I went back to the restaurant that I ate in earlier begging for olives. They gave me some for free probably just to get rid of me. Don't know what time I went to sleep. Some time. Wednesday 10th May 2000 Day 128 Woke up at 8.20. At 9am I had a banana and apple chopped up in a bowl. At 11am I ate 2 tamarinds and at 11.30 I made a salad of avocado, tomatoes and alfalfa sprouts. I ended up eating the whole packet of sprouts! That was a very good salad. I also ate 2 cherries as Karen was eating a bowl of them, but I couldn't taste them at all -- how odd. After about an hour I ate a chunk of bread but almost immediately my face blew up inside -- that funny numb roof of mouth, closed nostril feeling. Oooh it's odd. At 1pm I had a glass of fresh orange juice and at 3 I had 7 tamarinds, lying by the pool chattering to Karen. This was our last evening with our friends so we went to a restaurant at about 9pm and I was astounded to see a raw food (almost) meal on the menu. If only I could remember the name of the place. To start, I had half a melon (with 3 olives on) and then I had my big meal. On the menu it was called "vegetarian summer salad" or something. It had loads of stuff on it such as red cabbage, grapes, melon, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, peppers, olives, strawberries, and I asked for avocado on top of that. I also had an extra portion of olives and just under a bottle of wine. Back at the apartment Karen and I opened a bottle of cheap Portuguese "Champagne". Karen said it was horrible so I drank it all myself. Stupid thing to do. I then got hungry and ate 2 tamarinds and a chunk of cucumber. I think I then ate a load of bread but am not sure. Thursday 11th May 2000 Day 129 Woke up at 8 with a swollen tongue and a hangover. What a surprise. Why do I do this, exactly? At 10am I managed to eat 2 bananas after drinking lots of water. At 10.30 I had half a baguette and a decaf coffee. Slippery slope this un-rawness. I continued drinking lots of water. At 3pm Karen and I ate a mango each in the sun -- oh very good. While I was sitting by the pool I realised that I'd love to live somewhere sunny where there were less people and there was less stress. I don't need this English life that I grew up with any more -- it's just baggage to me. I also realised that while Karen was suffering from a few mozzie bites I (for the first time ever while abroad) had none. Well -- I had one tiny thing on my hand which itched for a few seconds and then went down. So either it was a fully fledged mozzie bite but because I'm now raw it didn't get inflamed and itchy, or the mozzie tried to bite me but didn't like the taste of my blood as soon as he stuck his needle in, so thought twice about it and buzzed off (probably to Karen). So being raw gives you protection from mozzies? Another one on the raw scoreboard. At 5pm I made myself a tomato, avocado and cucumber salad. In the evening we thought we'd have a look around one of the towns for a nice restaurant. One and a half hours later we realised we were in the wrong place, so we got a taxi to the next town and realised we were then in the right place. We found a restaurant that was kitted out in nice modern decor. The service was wonderful -- the waiters were all so funny. One of them had this gravelly deep voice and looked a bit like Mr Burns. At one point he did his "You ordered a coffee" and fake tripping over and spilling it all over me routine -- and I screamed as I didn't realise the cup was empty! He said we English are just like Americans -- all loud and shouty but get scared at the slightest thing! It's a shame the food wasn't great -- even though they tried their hardest to accommodate me. I had half a bread roll (even though it tasted off), half a melon to start (that was good), a mixed salad (with extra aphids for protein) -- I got some avocado with it which was a bonus. I didn't eat the lettuce as the aphids were all over it. Oh and the tomatoes were green so I couldn't eat them. I had a banana as a dessert topped with (toasted) nuts. Karen and I shared a bottle of wine and I also had 2 glasses of port and 2 coffees. We went to sleep at 2am -- and this was supposed to be an early night. Friday 12th May 2000 Day 130 Woke up at 8 but thought I'd need more sleep than that. I sat on my balcony in the nude tanning my white bits, enjoying the freedom and drinking water that had lemon juice in it. Blimey the lemons here are so much bigger and juicier and less sharp than ours. My leg still hurts and I started rubbing where the pain was. I noticed that I've got sunburn exactly where the pain is -- a 2 inch strip running right down from the side of my knee to my ankle. I thought that there must be some relevance to this. Maybe I've got cooked toxins in my leg that for some reason to do with the pain can't be released. I then think about my back and exactly where my lungs are I've got a bit of sunburn too. I know my health problems are still in my lungs so maybe my theory's correct? I always used to suffer prickly heat when I went in the sun and I've not got that now. I wonder if it is a detox symptom for cooked people? It makes me want to fast but I'm too busy for the next few months. Sitting on my balcony this morning, I finished Blatant Raw Foodist Propaganda by Joe Alexander. I really recommend it to anyone who wants to challenge the status quo in their lives. He gives the usual raw food messages, backed up by the usual scientific arguments, such as Pottenger's cats and leukocytosis. However, he also includes writings and opinions of raw pioneers and experimenters. Joe writes in a babbling conversationalist style which is endearing because he's talking one to one with the reader -- letting you know his thoughts and experiences. Later in the book he talks about repression and the causes, cures and eventual liberation of emotions. He also describes the Tibetan Rejuvenation Rites. These are a small group of exercises that, when practiced daily, can apparently reverse the signs of ageing. It works by aligning all your chakras so they can start to spin again as they all once did when we were children. It's worth buying the book just for this chapter alone. I'm going to try the rejuvenation rites as soon as I can devote time to it. Joe says it takes about 21 days to see a difference so I may start it in time to log the changes in me before I finish this journal. As a fellow artist, I felt a great connection with Joe's attitude and emotions. This book is a classic raw food book and one that you should go out and buy today if you've not already read it. After finishing the book I decided to do some stretches for my back, which turned out to be semi-yoga-type-stuff. I incorporated deep breathing (which I'd ceased about a month ago as it made me feel too powerful and I wasn't ready for it). After stretching I immediately went into a meditative state for about 20 minutes. Beautiful thoughts went through my head. I was disturbed by something landing on my leg. I looked to see that it was sweat dripping profusely from my arm pits. It was just like the Walkers Crisps advert where Gazza cries. There was water everywhere. Most of it was coming from my right pit (my bad side). I carried on meditating and my sweat carried on pouring. I know the sun is powerful and so is meditation. There are lots of lymph glands in the pits and that's where a lot of toxins are stored. After I finished meditating, I felt momentarily exhausted so could only lay down and do nothing for a couple of minutes. I then got up and made Karen's breakfast. She's still very tired and needs to sleep so I want to look after her a bit. Hey, I even washed up! Because of my armpit leaking/cleansing thing, I decided not to wear deodorant today. I didn't want to go and block them up after what they'd just done. At 11 I ate half a melon but it gave me a sick feeling. At 12 we went to sunbathe by the pool but I sat under a brolly as I feel like I've had enough sun today already. There was a big gust of wind and the brolly blew over and fell on my head giving me a lump. Owch. Oh well, it entertained the other sunbathers. At 2.30 we each ate our mangos under the sun but this time without a knife. We bit into them and got stuck in. I tried to contain my ecstatic noises but failed. My shin still really hurt today and I was still limping. The movement in my ankle was restricted. I thought about seeing Alison my chiro when I get back, but then we played tennis for a bit and my leg popped back in place and now it feels fine! We started on the drink a bit earlier than normal tonight. We had a bottle of white wine between us and chatted for ages before we went out. I really like Karen for so many reasons. Well, I don't suppose I'd keep going on holiday with her if I didn't, would I? This is our 3rd holiday and probably not our last. I've only been on holiday with Stevie once which was a disaster because we got a horrid apartment and I got bitten about 30 times by mozzies on the first night and then he got sunburned. That was a nightmare. We did go to Paris last year for a long weekend which was beautiful and something I'll never forget. I think he'd read in one of his magazines that if you did that you'd get a lot of special treatment from your woman for a very long time. It didn't extend to ironing his shirts, though. I don't iron for no-one! In the evening, Karen and I found a nice restaurant with a very sexy waiter. I said that if he was 6 foot taller he'd be perfect. Karen laughed and I didn't realise why until she said "don't you mean inches?". I'm so good with numbers. Regardless of the waiter's lack of 6 inches, we had a lovely penultimate meal. I had trusty melon to start (you really don't get bored of them here as they're so full of flavour). I then got this massive salad with loads of stuff on it including an orange, cut into a pretty shape. Wait for it -- I ate the orange and it was so sweet, juicy and succulent. Nothing like any orange I've ever tried to eat before. I usually suck the juice out and spit the rest out. We had a bottle of wine in the restaurant which we couldn't finish, but the waiters then kept plying us with free almond liqueur. Karen didn't like hers so I had it. That will have done me a lot of good, then. I think we went to sleep at 2am, but can vaguely remember being hyperactive in the apartment (probably because we didn't have any men to talk to) and I was pacing the floor and eating bread. Saturday 13th May 2000 Day 131 Woke up at 8 and laid on the balcony for a couple of hours. I tried to meditate like yesterday but it didn't happen and I didn't get odd sweat pouring from my pits either. I was a bit hungover from drinking the almond liqueur (potential raw people -- liqueurs don't do you any good at whatever stage you are in your transition). Another day without deodorant -- I keep sniffing my pits to see if they smell but as yet they've just smelled quite sweet if anything. Deodorant liberation -- woo hoo! At 10 I had breakfast -- half a melon and no bread! How good of me. We went to the supermarket to buy some tamarinds to take home (mmm!) and I bought some other fruit including a young coconut -- I've never had one before so I hope I can work out how to get into it. At the supermarket we went on this weighing machine that prints out your height, how many days you've lived, your love, health and money forecast and your weight assessment. It said I was 1 stone 6 underweight (1 stone 6 underweight, my arse). It also said I had a bad money and love forecast and an average health one. That's what my cooked destiny was -- not the destiny I'm heading towards now. When we got home ("home" -- ahh) I took an avocado down to the hotel cafe at about 12.30 and asked for a tomato, onion and cucumber salad with nothing else. I added my avocado and ate it. The tomatoes weren't fully ripe and it wasn't the tomato salad I was looking for. I also had a fresh orange juice, and this time it tasted fresh and I also ordered it with no ice. Afterwards I had a coffee for no reason at all really -- I didn't even enjoy it. We then laid by the pool -- I sunbathed in the no suntan lotion raw way. At about 3pm I ate my final mango -- still smelled and tasted very much like a peach. It was warm from the sun and I ate it in absolute stillness and quietness (apart from the odd moan) and then couldn't do anything for about 2 hours. I can't explain the hit I got off it -- not sedating but introspective. I couldn't read or talk and Karen gave up trying. A powerful mango, that one. At about 5pm I made a salad of 2 tomatoes, an avocado and some onion. That was the tomato salad I was looking for. Tsk -- if you want something doing properly, then do it yourself. My thrush has flared up. I think it's because of all the alcohol and bread -- I didn't get it until a couple of weeks ago -- when I started drinking quite a lot in the evenings. For dinner I had pizza with garlic, mushrooms, artichokes. Really tasty and very well made. I always liked continental pizzas so much more than British ones. Even Pizza Express can't make them this nice. I think it's to do with the roughness of the flour. I realised that if I hadn't eaten bread every day that I'd not be able to eat the pizza -- but my tolerance was up and it was the last holiday day so I thought "what the hell". We also shared a bottle of red wine. For my starter I had a tomato salad (I need those tomato salads today for some reason!) and a side portion of olives. Sunday 14th May 2000 Day 132 Woke up at 5am after a disturbed night's sleep. When I need to go somewhere important, I don't sleep too well. Wasn't very tired though, and had a laugh on the almost 3 hour trip to the airport with 2 blokes who hadn't yet been to bed and were slightly drunk. When we got to the airport, I ate a bag (about 200g) of walnuts -- they were so sweet and tasty. Not like those phoney nuts we get in the UK. We went to get Karen some food and I got a fresh orange juice -- it was so nice I went and bought two more. I had some more toxic symptoms on the plane. Don't read the next bit if you're squeamish. I had blood and mucous from my bum. Not a lot but it's not normal. Also my thrush seems to be thriving at the moment. Ooh, get this cooked rubbish out of me -- it doesn't belong there! I tried to sleep on the plane but really wasn't tired so we chatted about the holiday and stuff. Karen said that it was interesting seeing the new me for such a lengthy time because of the toxic symptoms I got from bread and the hyper symptoms I got from some fruit. She reckons I'm a bad advert for raw food because anyone who spent time with me would be put off it as it affects so much of your life! I said that if people are happy with their lives then they'd probably not try it anyway -- it seems to be those of us who are searching for something more that do it (and those who are desperately ill). I think that if anyone tried it for 3 months they wouldn't want to go back -- it's just so great. Karen called raw foodism a "One way street". I agree -- and the street leads to heaven on earth, why turn round to go back to hell? When I got home, I had some nagging emails that the journal's not been undated for a while (I was on holiday!!). It's so nice to know people (strangers) read it. I finished Feel Good Foods on the plane. I think it's going to sell well as it's positioned not at potential raw fooders, but at anyone who wants an extra "ooompfh". It's so good knowing someone who's written a book -- what an achievement. I hope Karen and Susie are both proud of it. When I got home I weighed myself to find that I'd put on 4 pounds! I'm not bothered about it as it's expected with the rubbish I've been tipping down my neck. In a couple of days I'll be back to 8 stone, which appears to be my natural weight as I've been there about 6 weeks now. I ate a young coconut that I brought back from Portugal. It had loads of water which tasted quite nice but it only had a thin layer (maybe 2mm) that was "jelly" and edible. The rest was tough and inedible. I wonder if I did something wrong here...* I also ate a small melon that I'd brought back, too. Back to English fruit, then. For some reason I ate 2 pieces of chocolate this evening, along with some 3 nori rolls with sliced tomato, cucumber and olive oil. I'm going 100% raw tomorrow. I went to sleep at about 10pm -- I was shattered but had a very restless night's sleep. Monday 15th May 2000 Day 133 Woke up at 8 and felt energetic, happy, and alive (trying not to think about work). I weighed myself again and I've lost the 4 pounds overnight that I'd put on. It must have been all water retention. I had a shower and went to work. At 9.30 I had a banana. At 11.30 I had a salad of avocado, tomato, basil and onion. I went to the pub wanting to talk about my holiday and had a bottle of fizzy water. I couldn't talk about my holiday as the lads were all talking about work -- blimming programmers! At 3pm I had a salad of 1 romaine, 4 tomatoes, 1 avocado and olive oil. I sat in the sun for an hour whilst reading the new Get Fresh magazine. Karen's written a nice paragraph about the help I've given Fresh redesigning their logo and enquiry pack! How lovely. I felt so great today -- hyper and unable to concentrate -- a bit flitty but loving it. Typing like a mad woman. Lots of work stuff is coming together -- life's making sense! I was going to visit (Fresh) Karen tonight and as I was about to get in my car I saw that my verge had been cut. I went to my neighbour's who lived behind me and rung his bell -- I tried to calm down but was soooo annoyed and my heart was thumping -- this isn't like the new raw me at all. He came out of the back door and reminded me of a weatherman in his stripy shirt and tie. "Did you cut my lawn", I asked (still trying to calm down). "Yes." "Why?" "Because it needed doing." "I'd planted a load of Californian seeds." "I thought I was doing you a favour." "Next time you think you're doing me a favour, ask." "I did ask -- last time I did it. Your boyfriend said I could cut it before." "That was 2 years ago, before I had planted my seeds. They were just growing and you've gone and killed them all." "Sorry" "What am I going to do now?" "To be honest with you, it was becoming a bit of an eyesore, actually." I don't think he should have said that. I flared up a bit, and all my feathers stood up. "An eyesore?" (big pause at stunnedness) "to who?" "All these people round here." "By who's standards?" (no answer) "It's my garden, not theirs." I turned to walk away and said "Keep your nose out of my business." Or something. Not the exact words, I'm sure but something like that. Also asked him where are all the insects going to live now, I think... So there you go -- my mini meadow is now brown lumpy grass. Nowhere for the butterflies to go this year, or for the frogs to look for slugs. Yes, it's so much more important for everyone to have uniform lawns than to show any consideration for the animals and plants that have to live on this earth with bloody destructive humans against their deepest wishes (probably). Bloody man in his bloody suit and tie -- what would he know about eyesores with his Sunday roast that invades my nostrils most weekends and his shaving rash. I don't interfere in his life, I don't think "His garden's too unnatural, I'll plant some seeds". What gave him the right? So I think I'll stick a sign out in my garden inviting any of my neighbours to do whatever they want to my property as they believe they can just go and destroy something that was going to be home and food to lots of creatures. Maybe they'll want to paint my hallway for me? So long as it's magnolia, they probably would. Oh isn't blandness wonderful? End of anger. The little shit's not worth it. When I got to Karen's she made me a lovely raw meal. 4 mushrooms stuffed with a blended avocado, watercress, tomato and parsley filling. I had lambs lettuce and cucumber with several different chickpea pates (plain, sundried tomato, sundried tomato and parsley, and brazil.) The brazil one didn't work well, but the sundried tomato and parsley one was scrummy and I'll definitely give that one a go. Karen then made me pudding of banana ice cream and mango. I've not had banana ice cream made using a Champion before. It was really creamy -- just like Mr Whippy. You wouldn't believe it was just a frozen banana. If you've got a Champion, freeze a couple of bananas, then run them though, using the blank blade. Then fight over the ice cream with everyone else around you. When I got home I had 4 dates -- and I really wasn't hungry. I think it will take me a while to get into good eating habits again after our holiday. It's so good to come back to England in a heatwave. I'll make the most of topping up my tan. I still feel like I'm on holiday in this weather! I went to sleep at 11. My thrush hasn't cleared up yet -- GOD! Tuesday 16th May 2000 Day 134 Woke up at 7.30 -- aren't I getting good? At 8am, I made a lovely smoothie out of 2 bananas a papaya, a sharon and the juice of 2 oranges -- and me and Stevie shared it. This was a delightful one! At 11.00 I had an avocado, tomato and basil salad from Nadia's -- there was loads of it! It was sooo good. At 1.30 I ate a banana. At home I was hungry, so made a big salad at 5.30 of 1 romaine and a chunk of cucumber with guacamole made of 2 avocados, 1 chili, 1 clove of garlic, 2 plum tomatoes. I spread the guacamole on the leaves and rolled them up -- yum! I need to get my leafys down me! I had some extra work to do tonight so finished that off and went to sleep at about midnight. Wednesday 17th May 2000 Day 135 Woke at 7 and had a papaya, banana and sharon smoothie at 8.30 after doing some work. At 11 I had another Nadia's avocado, basil and tomato salad. Typical eh. I've been here 3 and a half years and I've just found something I like to eat there. Hmpfh. At 12pm I fancied a raw soup so went home and blended a quarter of a cucumber with 2 oranges and 2 dessertspoons of raw tahini with a pinch of mustard powder. I topped this with thinly sliced tomatoes and chopped onion and ginger. This was really tasty -- I think I might eat more raw soups now it's getting warmer. There's no reason to that, though, I just feel like it! At 4pm I had half a romaine and an avocado. I think I'm in an eating mood! I had to work all night again and am so confused about work and everything that I cried. I think it's a full moon at the moment -- I always get emotional when the moon's all big and bright. I just don't know how I'm going to sort everything out if I get made redundant. I've got too much to do. At 11pm I had 3 nori rolls with 1 avocado a bit of cucumber, 1 tomato and half a lettuce and then went to bed. Don't tell me off for eating so late, I can't help it right now. Thursday 18th May 2000 Day 136 Went to sleep at 2 but didn't sleep -- woke up at 7. Had a juicy really lovely mango at 10, avocado and tomato salad at 12 (not as good as has been) Found out that there's a high chance of me getting redundancy! Went home and had sarnie (2 romaine leaves with avocado and tomato inside). Went to Karen's (Fresh) book launch tonight. We got food there -- which was stuff like almond cookies, chips and dips, pizza (I had 3 slices of this and got a really bad tummy ache) and salady things. Great evening. Went to the launch with Sammy from work and met one of my best mates Lisa Currants (she's not really called currants, that's just what I call her). She lives in London and so made the most of this country girl's visit by meeting me there. I love Lisa Currants -- she makes me laugh so much just thinking about her. Ahh. A few of us went to the pub afterwards where I had water. Terese and Al came to the pub -- Al's fantastically mental. MentAL. I got home and went to sleep at 1. Friday 19th May 2000 Day 137 Woke up at 4 for wee -- I drank too much water last night. Went back to sleep and woke up properly at 8.30 -- not feeling well. I feel feverish with a sore throat. Had a papaya in bed at 9 then I worked for a bit and ate 2 really nice ripe sharons at 11am and decided to go back to bed, I'll just have to work later tonight. I slept for an hour and then at 3pm I ate a third of a cucumber with a dessertspoon of tahini. At half past 3 I ate a tomato and a bit of cucumber. Turns out I had a migraine but it had gone by this point even though I feel very weak now. I think I ate 2 dates at some point. Later I had 8 mushroom toppers -- these are mushrooms cut in half with 1 teaspoon filling and a slice of tomato. The filling was mushroom stalks, 1 avocado, 1 dessertspoon of tahini, a small red onion and 1 clove of garlic - really whitey creamy. Yum. I did the same with slices of cuke -- 1 slice, some filling and then another slice -- little sarnie snacks. I also had half a yellow pepper and 6 romaine leaves for rest of filling. This was the prettiest meal I've ever made, I think. I went to sleep at 11pm very tired. Saturday 20th May 2000 Day 138 Woke up at 8 am and noticed that I'd came on -- no pain to begin with. We went into town. Had to buy a mobile phone if I'm going to start a new business. Blimey the last time I owned one of them was about 5 years ago and it was like walking round with a brick. I don't like mobile phones but I can see how useful they are! I'll just not hold it to my ear much. I bought some pecans from the health food shop and ate some of them, then got some raw olives from the market. Hmm -- they're not quite right -- I got a funny mouth feeling with them -- must be the stuff they put it in. Had to take some tablets for my pain -- poo -- I didn't want to take any. Maybe next month? Met Arun and Thora in town and had a good old natter. I love them. I think I love everyone right now. When I got home I had a small salad with some more olives. At 8.50 I made and drank a pint of orange juice. Went to bed quite early -- about 10. Sunday 21st May 2000 Day 139 Woke up at 8.30. Had a mango and then at 12.30 had 5 tamarinds. Still got a headache from the other day. At 2.30 I had 3 pieces of chocolate -- the first bit tasted nice but then it turned bitter. I got a runny nose. At 4.30 I had a tummy ache and migrainey head. Feeling really sorry for myself. I don't like being a girl. I made a small salad of lettuce, onion, pepper, tomato and a few olives and ate about 8 tamarinds as well. I feel so dehydrated after that raw pizza. I'm beyond transition food now so I don't know why I still indulge in it. It has as bad an effect on me as cooked does. Must stop eating it. Monday 22nd May 2000 Day 140 I woke at 8am -- still with a headache and sore throat. Throat very similar to when I detoxed the first time. At 11.30 I had an avocado, tomato and basil salad from Nadia's. At 3.30 I had some watermelon. I was very thirsty all day and drank lots of water. We went out to the Margherita at 8pm for a meal. As ever, it was a pleasure. I had a tomato and basil starter. My main course was my usual lettuce, mango, avocado, grape, kiwi and tomato with olive oil. I also had a dish of olives. I was really tired when we got home (I'd felt off all day), so I went straight to sleep at 11pm. Tuesday 23rd May 2000 Day 141 I woke at 9 am. Blimey -- I got 10 hour's sleep. I knew I wasn't well. I blended a pudding at about 10am. It had 1 avocado, a dessertspoon of carob, 2 bananas, half a punnet of strawberries. It was really yummy -- much lighter than Choccie pudding but still with the choc factor. I think you could eat more of it. YES! yes, yes yes yes yesyeseyseyyeyeeeeeeeeeeees. Got my redundancy confirmation! Rawcreation, here I come! Oh, excited me! At 3pm I had my avocado, basil and tomato salad from Nadia's and at 6pm I ate some watermelon that I'm keeping at work in the fridge for the next few days. It means I don't have to think about food so much while I'm sorting my life out. I met Jessie in the Maypole tonight for a gossip. I got there first and decided to order a celebratory Black Russian cocktail. I felt like I needed a drink (addiction?) but it made me quite drunk quite quickly. I think that has cola in it. I've never drank cola in my life. Odd me. We then went to No 1 King's Parade for a drink where I had water and at 9pm was hungry so had a tomato salad and a leaf salad. I still want bread. Evil bread making me addicted to it. I wish it would go away! Got home at midnight and ate my 3 remaining olives and 5 dates. Why am I eating so much? Had to move some furniture to get my new office room ready so we were doing that till 1am. All in all, I felt much better today, although my migraine still exists a bit. I've made a decision to not take investment for Rawcreation or take any active partners on yet. I don't think I'd work very well to the bang of anyone's drum but my own right now. I need to be me and do my own thing. I can expand the business when the time is right - and that will happen. But right now I just need it to be me. Blimey Karen (A) has helped me more than she'll ever know with all this -- she's made me believe in myself and for that I'm eternally grateful. I went to sleep at about 1.30. Wednesday 24th May 2000 Day 142 I woke at 7.30 and felt better. I didn't have any time for food in the morning -- work's keeping me busy. At 12 I went to Nadia's to get my normal avocado, basil and tomato salad. It's funny how I've been trying to find the perfect salad from Nadia's for 3 and a half years and it's only in the last few weeks that I've found it. Typical. I might still go there every now and then when I meet work people for dinner. In the afternoon, I just snacked on watermelon. It's very hard trying to finalise all my work -- there's so much in my head! I feel very floaty like I need lead weights in my shoes to stop my flying off. I can't believe it's finally happening. I've got a man in to do the front of my garden. I'm having to brick some of it so we can fit both cars on, and I'm getting a Spanish-style planter made so it divides my garden with next doors, and so it looks a bit alive. I'm also getting 3 trees put in the side where my neighbour cut my lawn. The garden man's dug it all out and will replace it with topsoil. I'll cover the ground with wild flowers, bulbs and some other stuff. I might even get some raspberry canes. I'll get a nice climber to go up the side of the garage. It'll look really nice in a few weeks. I met Karen (A) after work tonight. We went out with work tonight to Bar Moosh on Station Road. I've never been there before but I'd go again. The owner (I think) was very excited about doing something for me. My starter was aubergine, herbs, mushrooms, apple and string beans marinated in olive oil and some balsamic vinegar. It sat on some nice lettuce. It was topped with an oyster mushroom. It was so well presented. I think he wasn't meaning for it to be my starter but he gave me it at the same time as everyone got their starters so I ate it at the same time. My main course was half a big apple carved out and filled with chopped veg (stuff like peppers, tomatoes etc) with lovely shredded red cabbage and onion around the edge. I was so impressed that he did this with no notice at all. When we got home I was still hungry (I'm eating like a big horse at the moment), so I ate a quarter of an avocado but it was so horrid I threw the rest away. I ate a pear which was really nice and soggy. I went to sleep at 12. Thursday 25th May 2000 Day 143 I woke at 8am with a very sore throat -- the same as it was when I first went raw. Oh, I'm detoxing. That's all I need right now. I drank boiled water and lemon then went to see Alison, my chiro. I then went to Tesco to get some food and then came home to work. The man doing the front of my garden (I must find out his name) is doing a grand job. I kept him in tea and coffee because that's what you're supposed to do with workmen. At 12 I got a big mushroom cut sideways to make 4 rounds and spread with mixture of 2 avocados some sprouted chickpeas, garlic, chili and olive oil. I topped this with sliced tomato, basil leaves and spring onion. I made some cucumber rounds and stuffed them too. I put the rest of the mixture with some romaine, tomatoes and spring onion. Because I've got so much to do finishing my SCO work off, I just nibbled on this all day. I've got too much other stuff to do as well. I can't think about food today. Really. Later in the evening I started clearing out our bedrooms so we can get the new office sorted. I finished at about 11pm went straight to sleep. All day, my lungs have hurt because of detox. I really should have found the time to fast before going straight into the business but it wasn't to be! Tonight, I cleared out a load of clothes as I'd had to move wardrobes. It made me feel much better -- lighter. I need to get rid of stuff at the moment, I don't want my past any more. The next few weeks and months will be so full and changing for me, I need physical and mental space. Friday 26th May 2000 Day 144 Woke up at 4 with a crow singing. Sounds worse than me. Went back to sleep but only drifty. Got up at 7.30. I went to a seminar today for a couple of hours on how to start a business -- it's run by the Cambridge Enterprise Agency and was really informative. They do some courses that I'm going to book myself on to. I didn't eat anything beforehand and had half a cup of coffee while I was there (don't know why, I just did -- I think it smelled nice). As it was my last Friday at SCO, a load of us went to The Wrestlers for dinner, but I just drank water. I was working at home this afternoon trying wind up all the stuff I've been doing and leave it in a good state. At about 2pm I cut the leaves of a romaine off and ate that with 2 avocados and a couple of tomatoes. I had a really nice sharon fruit at about 5pm. I didn't use a knife, I just pulled the top of, split it open and sucked it -- and I really prefer it that way. We decided to go out for a celebration meal tonight to mark (almost) the beginning of my new life. We booked a table at Hobb's and asked them to do me something raw. We also asked them to get some vegan champagne in -- which they did. It was lovely -- we got to the restaurant and our table was in my favourite place -- by the heater. The champagne was in an ice bucket on the table waiting for us. I've been thinking a lot about alcohol recently. I don't want to drink it because it dulls the good feeling I get from being raw but I think I've drank a lot of it in the last few weeks because I've had to really concentrate and think about my future and at the same time blot out some of the stuff going on. People say I think too much, and it is really intense sometimes. It feels like my fuses are going to blow. Alcohol stops that! Sometimes when on a "raw high" it's hard to be grounded enough to think about day to day or big decisions. It makes me wonder if we're supposed to do that in the first place -- be all grounded. Maybe our natural state of being isn't that at all? After all, in the wild, our most challenging tasks would be survival, eating and mating -- we wouldn't need to get up at the same time every morning to go and do something just so we can keep a place to live -- how absurd our lives have become. So, I had all but 2 glasses of the champagne along with my meal. The waiter at Hobb's told me I had a choice of 2 starters -- melon in vegan elderberry wine or gazpacho. I chose gazpacho and then we wondered if it would really be raw. People often mistake cold for raw. In this instance we were probably correct -- it felt cooked. Oh well. I ate it anyway. My main course was really pretty and just what I fancied. There were 2 dips -- one of them really minty and lots of stuff to dip into -- peppers, celery, lettuce and stuff, then 2 tomatoes stuffed with a minty thing. Really nice. Hobb's really excel when it comes to customer care. For my pudding, I had half a melon with banana in the middle and (non-raw) vegan praline sauce and an After Eight on top. So a 90% raw meal or something, then! We got home at about 11pm and I tried to eat a sharon fruit but couldn't and then tried to drink some brandy. I think I got to sleep at about 1am. Saturday 27th May 2000 Day 145 Woke up at 7am. I wasn't planning on doing that. Had a bit of a hangover and felt a bit sick. I always feel rubbish when I break my good raw diet -- I'm wondering when I'll stop doing it? Maybe when I'm a bit more settled in the work part of my life. I have to say that I should probably be extremely stressed by now and worried but I just have a happy calmness about myself. I know it'll work out and I'll be happier than ever before. I didn't eat any breakfast. I was looking on the web at all the formalities of starting a business. The Companies House web site was really informative. At about 1.30, I had a small salad of romaine, avocado and tomatoes. At about 2 I went over to (Fresh) Karen's for a chin wag and to do some work with her. We talked about a lot of stuff how we're changing -- how being raw is like the start of something... I had 7 cherries and about 15 dates, then went home. We were going to Jo's annual birthday barbecue tonight so I've been making a raw pizza. By the time I got home it was all ready and warm. I decided to taste a bit and ended up eating about a third of it. I put a third of it in a box to take to Jo's. When we got to Jo's she showed me the guacamole and raw salsa that she'd made. She's a real food-doer. I gave her a copy of Feel Good Food for her birthday but noticed that only Susie had signed it and not Karen. Ooops. Jo made me a platter of orange and yellow peppers, cherry tomatoes, fennel, some queen olives and the 2 dips. I almost ate it all. She and Karen (A) tried the raw pizza and both loved it. So here's how I made it: I processed some buckwheat sprouts with 2 bananas and a stick of celery. I spread it out on a dehydrator tray and dehydrated it for a day. I then put a layer of tomatoes on it, followed by chopped orange pepper, sliced mushrooms, basil leaves and onion sliced into rings. I then processed some tomato, olive oil, garlic and red pepper into a sauce and drizzled that on the pizza to cover the sliced vegetables. Finally, I processed some pine nuts with olive oil and a cob of corn until really creamy and spread that over the top. I dehydrated it for about 6 hours. The "cheese" topping turned a good yellow colour (because of the corn, probably) and the pizza tasted really great. Again, I don't want to eat this sort of food very often because it doesn't make me feel as great as fruit or light salads but it's good to take it to a party and to get people interested. Plus I'm still a culinary show off! We were really tired after all the house shifting stuff, so we came home at about 10pm and went straight to sleep. Sunday 28th May 2000 Day 146 Woke at 9 -- How good getting a lie in. We've got a lot to do today -- sorting out the office desk and shelves, moving all the stuff around that we moved out of there. I wasn't hungry in the morning as I ate a lot last night, so I had a glass of water. After I'd been moving stuff for a few hours I made dinner. Stevie's veggie burgers made my nose smell. They were like bad breath or something. I didn't like cooking them. Don't know if I'm going off cooking but some things just smell too powerful for me now. I had a salad of romaine, tomatoes, half an avocado, homegrown alfalfa sprouts, basil and leftover pizza. I wasn't going to eat anything complicated today but I had to finish the pizza and I've got my new life starting on Thursday -- I can sort myself out then. We had to go shopping and I bought loads of fruit -- as I was putting it away I broke the skin of an avocado so ate it with about half a romaine and some basil leaves. We then got on with sorting the house out. The weather is rotten. I realised the other day that the fruit I ate in Portugal was so much better than the stuff I get here. I'm going to get deliveries from Orkos when I get settled. They are based in France and supply good quality properly ripened fruit around Europe. It's not cheap but I want nice fruit and nowhere round here supplies it! At about 6pm we sat down to watch The Simpsons and have a rest. I had a small melon and 4 dates while watching it. After that I did some more work and ate a small bowl of olives, had a small brandy and ate about 4 walnuts. I went to bed at about midnight and fell straight asleep with the light on. Monday 29th May 2000 Day 150 Woke at 8 am but couldn't move I was so worn out from all this moving stuff. It's only because I'm not used to it, I suppose. I lived off a couple of mangoes and stuff today -- I'm too busy to think about food right now. It's a bank holiday today so I carried on moving the whole house around. Went to badminton in the evening but one of the lads didn't turn up so I couldn't play (there were 5 of us and I'm the only girl so guess who suffers when there's an odd number?). Went to sleep at about 11 tonight. Tuesday 30th May 2000 Day 151 woke up at 7.30 and had a smoothie at 8 made of banana papaya sharon and the juice of 2 oranges. That was really gorgeous. At 11 I had an avocado, tomato and basil salad from Nadia's and there was loads of it. I think I'll miss these. At 1.30 I had a banana and then when I got home at about 6 I made a big salad of 1 romaine and a chunk of cucumber with guacamole (made from 2 avocados, 1 chili, 1 clove of garlic, 2 plum tomatoes) and I spread the guacamole on the leaves and rolled up. Need to get my leafys down me! I'm all excited -- it's my last day at work tomorrow. It's finally happening. I couldn't sleep with excitement, so I did some work instead. I think I got to sleep at about 2am. Wednesday 31st May 2000 Day 152 Woke up at 6am with next door's cat meowing. Wish we didn't live so close to people sometimes. Last day at work -- excited and couldn't sleep so did some work. Went into work and only had a few things to do, so I cleared out my cupboards and got my final dinner from Nadia's, then went to the pub at dinner time for a drink. Roger's leaving to go to SCO in the States so between us we pulled quite a crowd. It was really sunny so we sat outside and I handed out my new temporary business cards and my shazzie.com raw journal cards. I did a bit of propaganda and then got drunk on 2 diamond whites and 2 southern comforts. Such a lightweight, I really am. Oh and a beautiful butterfly landed on my arm and then went away again -- pretty thing. At about 3.30 everyone gathered around my desk and Chris did a speech about me. The all had a laugh at my loudness and nonconformity and Chris said that he'll really miss me and then said "I mean that". I think if I hadn't still been drunk I'd have cried at that. So then it was my turn and it went something (not exactly) like this: "When I came to SCO I didn't realise that I'd make so many wonderful friends. I love so many of you and will miss seeing you all the time -- but we won't lose touch. I don't think David (my first SCO boss) knew how to cope with me but we soon built up a wonderful friendship and working relationship," I turned to David and went over and kissed him: "and I'll miss you so much and want to thank you -- you was a wonderful boss and are a wonderful friend." At this point, again I should have cried but they'd have just been tears of Southern Comfort, so I carried on: "I've had a few jobs while I've been here, and a few bosses, and I've loved my work as well as hated it. You know I work with a passion and I give my all. Well, I don't know how many of you know that I actually begged for redundancy when my position was made redundant. I could have looked at other avenues within the company but what would I have achieved? They'd already had the best of me and I just couldn't give any more." This was so true -- I just couldn't. "So all I have to say now is thanks for everything and I hope SCO gets its arse into gear, if it doesn't I hope Tarantella is still successful. If it's not, come and work with me because I know Rawcreation will be." And that was it -- something I hadn't rehearsed but something quite beautiful (even though it was half-pissed). I was more than pleased with it and I just stared at all the smiley twinkly faces. I got a telephone with a headset and two wooden flower clip things to put in my new office. They knew I liked my headset at work -- I can talk for hours and work at the same time! I'll miss that crowd -- lovely techies that they are. So I left SCO and Stevie drove me home because I was incapable. I got ready to go out to my goodbye meal but must admit I felt a bit sick. We went to Hobb's Pavilion where I got gazpacho for my starter (probably not raw but cold!) with a side salad, and then I had a lovely raw main course with a whole avocado, dips and crudites with a salad. They found me some nice vegan wine but I couldn't drink it all so I started on the water. I didn't have room for a pudding but when I got home I think I nibbled on some dates or something. Had a really good night though -- ahhh. Don't know what time I went to bed. Check out the piccies of the night here! "I LOVE your website so much. It is the best thing I've ever read/seen on raw foods and fasting." -- Amy, New York, USA How do I feel after my fifth month? My boobs are so much perkier -- they seem to have totally changed shape. They're still small but they're so nicely formed now. My face has filled out again -- people can't call me anorexic now! However, it's not gone back to how it was, all saggy with jowls. It's much better shaped. I think I look quite nice now, even if I do say so myself. My skin feels fantastic -- it looks good because I've got a tan but it feels softer than It's ever felt -- I've got happy skin right now. This month, it's difficult to say exactly how I feel because I'm faced with massive life-changing decisions at the moment and they're clouding my mental progression. However, what I do know is that I'm handling this whole thing so differently to how I'd have handled it if I was cooked. I can't see any bad "what ifs" and that's nothing like how I used to be. What do I want to achieve in the next month? I just need to do whatever I can to enable me to get through the work changes that are occurring. I'm so thankful and happy about the recent work changes that have happened. Wow. I just can't imagine how this business will go. But I can. Next *No, I didn't. I'd just never had young coconuts before and didn't know that they didn't have lots of meat in them.

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