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Thursday 1st June 2000 Day 153 Woke up with next door neighbour's cat crying at 5 am and it didn't stop so I got up at quarter to 7. Good start to my new life. Just eating watermelon this morning -- I've got sooo much to do (do I ever have a day without sooo much to do??). Went to see my new accountant today -- she's really nice so I'll give her my business. Had a decaf coffee while I was there and we chatted about raw food a bit. I've got Karen to send her some raw info. Ah, I got a really nice card from (Fresh) Karen, it came in a purple envelope and is a tall thin one. She wrote some really nice stuff in there. Made me smile. At 12.15 I had an avocado tomato, onion, basil and olive oil salad. Missing Nadia's salad already. Stevie's rang me a couple of time to see how I'm getting on, and as I'm online he's ringing my mobile -- but after only a few seconds the mobile starts to hurt my ears. I must use my hands-free kit. At 2.30 I had 2 bananas and at 5pm I made an avocado, tomato and lettuce salad. Then at 6pm I had an apple, then at 7.30 I had a salad of tomatoes, avocado, lettuce and olive oil. Nothing like pigging out, is there? We put the office shelves up tonight and then I worked a bit more. I'm tired and need to sleep but I'm so happy. This feels so right. I went to sleep at 11, probably with a smile on my face. Friday 2nd June 2000 Day 154 Woke up at 7.30. Hurray -- a full no-cat wailing night's sleep! I worked for a bit, then ate a bit of water melon, varnished my lovely curvy desk, then I moved some books from downstairs to my office, then I did a bit more work. Silly me had a coffee -- I made one for the builder and had some left over. Oh, hope I don't get a migraine. Got a card through the door with exactly the same envelope as the one yesterday -- it was like an action replay. I got even more freaked when I read it -- it was from Karen (A) and was the same range as the card from Karen (Fresh) but it did have a different picture on the front. Wonder if I'll get one from Jess tomorrow. Nah -- Jess doesn't give cards as she doesn't think many of them are pretty enough. Today I ate watermelon all day until 4.00 when I made a guacamole with chili, tomatoes, garlic and button mushrooms. Used cucumber to dip -- mmm -- really nice. For my tea at 7.45 I had a big juicy mango with loads of flavour. Then I had an avocado at 9. Shouldn't eat this late -- I'll do better when life's less hectic. Went to sleep at 11.30. Saturday 3rd June 2000 Day 155 Woke up at 7.30 with a bit of a coffee feeling from yesterday. Ate 2 bananas and an avocado. I'm going to the Strawberry Fair with Jess today -- they do it once a year in Cambridge and it's so nice when it's sunny. There's a 60% chance of rain. I got to Jessie's at 1 and she'd made me a dinner of guacamole with mange touts, red pepper carrot sticks and cherry tomato and basil with olive oil. So we sat and ate that and gossiped for a while and then toodled off to the fair. As soon as we got there we were on the lookout for food and I spotted a bloke selling mango and strawberries in a cup so we had one of those each. Bought a really groovy purple space light for my downstairs loo. We then had some water while we were sitting down watching the world go by. We took a look round all the stalls and went to the art gallery tent and met up with some of the lads from (ex) work. Then I spotted a young coconut stall so we wandered over there and I bought a stick of sugar cane and a young coconut with the top cut off and a straw in it. Cor, it was so nice. That coupled with being in the sun (60% chance of rain, my arse) made me feel so alive and smashing. After I had the milk I got my fingers in and scraped out the jelly to eat. It reminded me a bit of boiled egg white but nicer and not from chicken's fannys. Then I started on the foot of sugar cane -- then me and Jess were in heaven. We wandered around a bit more in a sugar cane induced high, I bought some young coconuts to take home and then we went home. This was the best Strawberry Fair I've ever been to and I've been to about 10 of them. Loved today. At 8pm I had another young coconut but this one was more meaty instead of jellyish. At 9pm I had a salad of guacamole with chili, tomato, lettuce, cucumber. I've noticed that the middle of my back aches with all this furniture moving. I went to sleep at about 11pm. Sunday 4th June 2000 Day 156 woke up at 7am as I was going to the Mind Body Spirit festival with (Fresh) Karen. I took 2 mangos so that I'd have something nice to eat. There were loads of stalls but the first thing that caught our eyes was a full body aura scanner. Mine came out purple with a bright white throat chakra and no base chakra (no wonder I've felt floaty!) I also look like I've got a banana in my tummy -- wonder what that is? I had my tarot cards read as well -- Gordon (the reader) said that I've got to be careful of signing any contracts and if I'm not happy with what's on them to not sign it. Wow -- I've got to deal with contracts in my business -- I wonder if someone's going to try and have me over? Well, I'll be ready for them! He also gave me a lot of other unsettling information -- oh I don't think I can cope with any more upheaval in my life. He said that I'd become a teacher, as did 2 other people throughout the day. Teach what? How to be a jellyhead? I had a pint of orange juice and a shot of wheatgrass and then we went to the first talk: Doug Graham on Nutrition for the Mind Body Spirit. Before his talk I told him off and punched him because I met him last year and told him that I constantly feel tired and sleep too much and have really bad back ache and he didn't tell me to try the raw thing. He said he takes it as read that people are doing the raw thing! I suppose after doing it for 17 years you would get a bit distanced from other people's food lives, wouldn't you? Karen and I talked to a few people afterwards who were showing an interest. While we were waiting for the next talk I had one of my mangoes but it wasn't very nice. I gave the other one to Karen and that was lovely. Typical! After that talk we went on a durian hunt and found a cracker of one -- all prickly and groovy. We also got some lovely little yellow mangoes and ate some on the train. Oh it was gorgeous -- so highly perfumed and full of everything. I was in mangoland and had to eat some mustard greens to bring me back to earth. I was sent somewhere else... We split the durian at Karen's house and then I toodled off home. When I got home I had some more mustard greens -- I really like them -- I might grow some. I went to sleep at 11ish. Monday 5th June 2000 Day 157 Woke up at 8 -- blimey -- a lay in! I had coconut milk at 9.45, then coconut jelly at 10.30 -- there was lots in this one! At about 12.00 I had 2 mangoes from the Asian shop in the bath at 12.00 and went to heaven. Then at 4pm I had a normal run-of-the-mill mango. At 6.30 I had a plate full of mustard greens (plus a mouthful of Stevie's pasta). Don't start eating cooked food, Holdstock. At 7.30 I ate some of the durian that Karen and I got yesterday, but Stevie couldn't stand the smell so I said if I got it again I'd keep it in the garage. Poor durian. God, it's my house! I've not stopped all day, working and setting up my office, and still setting up the business. I had another mouthful of pasta -- then my hand started to ache like it used to. NO WHEAT, NO! I went to sleep about 12 -- and was tired out, but happy. Tuesday 6th June 2000 Day 158 Woke up at 8 and laid in bed for over an hour. I'm still tired and could do with a day off but no such luck. I think I deserve it! I had my coconut milk outside in the garden for breakfast. This is my first day in the new studio. Oh, it looks so pretty. I'm going to enjoy working here! I ate the coconut jelly at noon followed by a mango (this was my last one from that nice shop). I'm really tired and unfocussed today -- it's not a good day for working on a client's site so I decided not to do it and to continue with setting up the business. I can do that without it draining me. I can catch up on the client's work over the week or weekend so it's not a problem. I had a melon in the sun at 2.30 -- but it got a bit windy though. Where has the summer gone? Ate some more mustard greens at about 4pm. This raw high is too much sometimes I think that's why I feel tempted to eat heavier and even cooked foods. I must just let it slide... Spent a few hours moving stuff around -- so the office is looking particularly gorgeous now. Went out with Jessie and Al (from SCO) had 2 glasses of wine and 3 pots of olives. Also ate some of Jessie's bread which I wasn't intending on doing. I went very silent and ill for about half an hour. I'm subconsciously trying to ground myself and don't know how. Well, I do -- I did it on Sunday. I should do that again. I've got to stop eating cooked food -- it horrifies me that I'm backtracking like this. Went to sleep at about 12. Wednesday 7th June 2000 Day 159 Woke at 8 with a puffy face from eating bread. Feels worse than it looks. Started work early today as I've got a lot to do. I'm not complaining, though! Ate a mango at 10.30 but was disturbed twice -- once by a man delivering software and the other by my dad phoning for a chat. It's good to talk! The mango wasn't very nice, even though it was a Tesco tree ripened one. What a rip-off. All mangoes should be tree ripened and you shouldn't have to pay extra for them and then get a shit one. You really shouldn't. Tesco: Sell nice fruit -- now! At 1pm I had a salad of lettuce, mustard greens avocado and 4 tomatoes. At 3pm I had a salad of avocado 4 tomatoes and basil. We went out for a meal and to the pictures tonight. So at 7.30 at The Margherita I had a tomato and onion starter and then my usual tomato, lettuce, mango, avocado, kiwi and grapes main course. It wasn't as nice as usual -- the fruit wasn't ripe. Oh and I had a pot of olives. We went to see Gladiator. I wasn't keen on going. There's all this human past stuff that I think we should move on from. Dwelling on stuff isn't good for the soul -- we don't really have to live in the past, do we? But, saying that it was an excellent film, fantastic acting, especially by Joaquin Phoenix and there was this repeated wheat field scene. Do you remember walking through and laying in wheat fields when growing up? Oh to do that again! I got to bed at about 1am. Thursday 8th June 2000 Day 160 Woke up at 8 and remembered that I saw a ghost last night. She was sat on Stevie's side of the bed looking down at him -- with a very kind smiling peaceful face. I heard a noise and opened my eyes, she looked at me and I was confused and shouted out "Is that you, babe?" to Stevie -- she looked a lot like him, but she was a female. I wonder who it was? I had 2 sharons that had been sitting on my windowsill for 3 weeks trying to ripen in our no-sun land. At 10.30 I was hungry which isn't like me, so ate 10 chestnut mushrooms stuffed with avocado, garlic, chili, 4 dates (not medjool) blended with the mushroom stalks. There was a bit left over so put it into a third of an orange pepper. At 6pm I had asparagus marinated in a blended sauce (olive oil, lemon juice, lime juice, dates, garlic, chili). with salad of lovely dripping ripe tomatoes, cucumber, red onion. It was the local Fresh meeting tonight and as it was sunny we went for a picnic in the park. Roger fed apples to a little tiny horse. Then some stupid humans gave FISH AND CHIPS to their little children to feed the horse and the horse choked so gobby Holdstock here told the grown-ups off and all they did was laugh (hopefully with shame). I had a peach, strawberries, date and coconut balls (really nice) raspberries, apple, pineapple, kiwi. We talked about food to keep you grounded -- fruit (high up from a tree) keeps you high, food from the floor such as mushrooms (being the lowest), lettuces, some berries etc keep you grounded. Avocados don't ripen till they've been on the floor a while so they probably keep you grounded. When I've got time I think I'll do a little experimenting on this one. That's why I instinctively went for the mushrooms yesterday as I wanted to be grounded. I got home at about 11 and did a bit more work. My mouth doesn't hurt so much today. I went to sleep at 12.30. Friday 9th June 2000 Day 161 Woke at 8.30 ( got a lie in!). My mouth really hurts. Oh, what have I done to it? I went shopping for some plants for my front garden and it started to rain. I was still wandering round the outside in my shorts and t-shirt picking up plants and noticed that all the cooked people were taking shelter. I think they thought I'd catch a cold but I just felt good in the rain. I love being in the rain when I'm not cold. Try to keep an Aquarian out of water! I had a little nice mango at 11.45. I decided to plant my plants in the rain, I might have looked mad but I enjoyed myself. It looks really nice now -- so pretty and summery. I've got 3 eucalyptus bushes, some strawberries, loads of herbs and some bedding plants just to fill in the gaps until it's established. At 1.45 I made soup with the marinade from my asparagus, 4 marinated asparaguses (?)(but I chopped tips in half lengthwise for decoration), juiced a cucumber and some non-marinated asparagus sticks. I then put an avocado in and blended it all and placed the tips on top. It had a really good texture - this would be loved by cooked people. The lemon was a bit too strong but next time I'll just add less marinade. I ate about half of it. At about 4 I ate the rest of the soup. I can't eat real food as my gob hurts so much! Yes I should probably fast right now but I don't think I can as I've got too much to do. At about 7pm I made what must be the closest raw thing to Angel Delight there is -- blimey it took me back about 25 years. I blended 2 bananas, about 12 really flavoursome strawberries and a tablespoon of tahini until it was a smooth creamy sexy delight. Wow. I had a little mango at about 11pm -- I know it's too late to eat but I fancied it. One thing at a time right now! I did some more work tonight and went to bed at about 12.30 Saturday 10th June 2000 Day 162 Woke up at about 20 to 9 -- my mouth was throbbing. In desperation, I made a tea tree oil mouthwash and did a fair bit of gargling. We went to town to get a load of office stuff and I bought a banana from the market and ate it on a bench in the sun. It was really nice but I could only eat it side saddle as I can't open my mouth. At about 11.45 we went to Debenhams for a snack, I bought a naughty coffee and a side salad made up of really nice juicy tomatoes, cucumber and lettuce. I sprinkled some walnuts on top and got a balsamic vinegar and oil dressing from the staff -- it filled me nicely. When we got home (I think I'm officially skint now -- I must have spent all my redundancy money!) I did a load of gardening out the back for a couple of hours -- planted some lettuces, rocket, radish, chinese cabbage and beans. I then laid in the sun for about an hour -- blimey it's so good when the sun shines. I love today. At about 5.00 I ate the remains of my durian outside so it didn't get up Stevie's nose. Funny how some people can't abide the smell of it. I made Stevie a chip butty and ate one of his chips but apart from the crispy texture it did nothing for me -- they don't taste of anything anymore. I remember reading some raw fooder a while ago who said "Cooked food tastes either like sick or like nothing so you have to cover it with loads of sauce to give it flavour" and I didn't believe him at the time -- I just thought "Well he can't cook as good as me" -- but now I do believe him. Mmm cooked starch with chutney. At about 8pm I had another More delightful than angels exactly the same as yesterday because it was easy to eat with my sore mouth. I just had a feel in there and my wisdom tooth has rubbed the side of my mouth so much it's caused a big blister on it -- no wonder it hurts. I've stuffed some cotton wool in between the two to stop the friction a bit. When I had braces I got this red rubber stuff to put on them where they cut my gums -- blimey, if only I'd kept some. Maybe if I phone a dentist on Monday they'll have some? I'll put it on my million item long to do list and then not do it. I went to sleep at about 12.30. Sunday 11th June 2000 Day 163 Woke up at about 9 feeling not well in the mouth and also really tired. I should rest and fast today but don't have time. No time to be well! Madness... I had a small mango. I started to eat a papaya but it was horrible so I spat it out. At about 11 I finished off the walnuts that I got yesterday and was still hungry so made a tomato salad with 3 nice ripe tomatoes, some basil, a small red onion and some olive oil. As soon as I ate it I felt ill -- the whole side of my mouth hurt from my eyeball, ear, tooth to my throat. I did a bit of work but at 1.30 I had to go to sleep. I woke at 3.30 feeling a bit better so I did a bit more work. Felt well enough to eat a small melon at about 8pm and then I had a bag of walnuts at about 9pm. I really wanted some chips today -- I almost went downstairs and made some. I was so hungry but food made my mouth hurt and I thought something bland like chips would fill me up. I really wanted them. This is the strongest craving I've ever had since going raw. Finished work at about 10.30 and went to bed but wasn't tired so stayed awake for a bit thinking about chips and my poorly apple tree (it's infested with black hairy caterpillars) and being in mouth pain. Monday 12th June 2000 Day 164 Woke up at 8.30 and my head really hurt. I think I'm detoxing but it could be the coffee I had the other day. I think I should stay off coffee now! My mouth has gone down a bit and isn't so painful. I kept swilling with tea tree oil yesterday and replacing the cotton wool every hour or so. It was gross - there was all puss on it when I took it out. I'm putting tea tree oil on the cotton wool as well. Did some tidying up and then ate an apple outside with a knife. I can only open my mouth about 2 centimetres so there's no enjoyment in my food. Ran round like a mad woman for a few hours and then ate a tomato, pine nut, basil and olive oil salad before going out. When I came back at about 4 I went outside to rest for half an hour and to sunbathe -- it's such a warm gorgeous day and I must make the most of it. I made a quick soup to take out with me -- and it was so lovely -- get this -- a little chunk of durian (the very last of it now), 4 really ripe tomatoes, a small handful of mint leaves, a clove of garlic and a dribble of olive oil -- all blended up -- wow it was a good one! I'll see what it's like without the durian as that's not the most common ingredient in the world! Had a mango for tea -- made Stevie's pizza and chips for him to watch the football and ate about 10 chips -- that's not like me. I also ate 4 dates. Went to bed at about 12.30 after working for a bit. Tuesday 13th June 2000 Day 165 Woke up at 10 to 8 and needed a poo immediately. I'm not surprised with what I ate yesterday. If only my mouth would get better I could eat normally, but it won't get better while I'm eating this rubbish. Went to get my legs waxed so decided to nip to Tesco and get some nice fruit. Got some juicy stuff like melon and oranges so I can juice them if I can't eat later. Got loads of avocados as well. Need to get stocked up as I'm going to the Fresh Summer Party on Friday and will have to self-cater for about 3 meals before I get there. I'm so excited about that. When I got home I made a nice guacamole out of 1 avocado, 2 tomatoes, a clove of garlic and some chili I ate it with a whole romaine and a wedge of cucumber. Blimey -- that should stop me eating chips! I did some work and at 4 and then decided to put the shopping away. I opened the fridge to put some stuff in and the rest of the chips were there (about 10 of them). I ate one. I then got the plate out and microwaved them and put tomato sauce on them and ate them. This is the worst I've ever been -- what's wrong with me? They don't even taste nice -- they taste of hardly anything. And they were soggy by this time. Ugh. I put the shopping away and ate gorgeous 2 apple bananas and a couple of walnuts. I'd rather fill up on nuts than chips. At about 5.30 I made myself a big raw asparagus soup made of juiced cucumber and asparagus stalks, blended with asparagus middles (that had been marinating with the tops for a day) , an avocado, olive oil and lemon marinade, juice of a lime and a bunch of mint. Once it was blended I put it in a warm bain marie to gently warm it through. I put the tips on top in a nice pattern. I can't believe I'm having to take a step back like this. I thought I was beyond complicated food. I wonder it it's because I've not had a drink of wine for a bit? We did some office setting up tonight and I made a sandwich out of 2 big romaine leaves, filled with tomato, cucumber and a small bit of guacamole. I was so tired I dropped some on my beautiful carpet. I finished work at 12.30 and went straight to sleep. Wednesday 14th June 2000 Day 166 Woke up at 10 past 9 and it took me about half an hour to come round. I had some water to help me get going. At 12.30 I had a lettuce, cucumber and guacamole, then at 4.30 had a mango and a handful of walnuts. For some reason I was really tired today -- I think it's the varnish fumes in my office. I've put loads of plants in there to absorb some of the rubbish but it's not working much yet. I had a bath to try to sort myself out but decided to have a tiny glass of Calvados with it (not in it). Well, that's the end of the Calvados, and I'm not buying anymore cooked alcohol. So there. I thought I should get out a bit so I went to the Railway Vue pub quiz and it was so much better now they've got their no-smoking conservatory. As usual we lost and argued about who's fault it was for giving/writing the wrong answers! I heard the joke of the year from Chris tonight. You know how Keith Chegwin (Cheggers) was an alcoholic? He couldn't take his drink. Still Cheggers can't be boozers! Maybe you had to be there? So I came home and could barely smell the smoke on me which is a big change from feeling like I'd had fifty fags in a night (that's the English "fag", not the American one). Like a big fat fool I ate a lettuce, avocado, tomato salad because I wanted to, even though I shouldn't eat that late -- and then I did some work until about 12.30 -- then I went to sleep. Thursday 15th June 2000 Day 167 Woke up at 7 and was really tired, struggling to get out of bed and in the shower. I was going to the finance and legal seminar today and got there early as you just don't know what the traffic's going to be like in this city. I'd packed some fruit from home for my dinner in case they couldn't provide me with anything. In any case I prefer my food to the stuff other people give you. At 11 it was break time so I had a sharon and a juicy sweet peach. At 1 it was dinner so I looked at the buffet and there was lettuce, tomato and cucumber so I got some of that and put my avocado with it. That was a good meal but as usual it opened up a whole table full of questions. "But what about kidney beans?" "What about them?" "Well you can't eat them raw, they'll poison you" "Doesn't that suggest you shouldn't eat them at all?" And so on. I was asked so many questions that I was really slow eating (I'm slow anyway) and had to rush my last 2 mouthfuls as we had to start again. The room stank of eggs and was too hot and stuffy and damp. Oh I had a couple of coffees at the seminar -- I shouldn't have as it will make me very restless for the next few days. What is wrong with me this week -- throwing all this crap down my throat? Got home at about 6 and decided to do the side of my garden which took me 4 hours, but I had loads of energy. Just after 10 I made a small avocado, tomato and lettuce salad and then did a bit of work. I went to sleep at about 1.30. Friday 16th June 2000 Day 168 Woke at 8 and made a smoothie -- we had 2 bananas and half a massive punnet of strawberries each. Cor that was good! I don't usually eat breakfast so early -- it must have been all that physical labour yesterday. My company got born today! My accountant just rang and told me. Rawcreation Limited. There. What a special day. And it's my sister's birthday. And it's her husband's birthday. What a day for birthdays in our family. At 12 I had a big salad of guacamole, cucumber, beef tomatoes, a whole romaine and orange pepper, then at 3.45 I had half a packet of walnuts. In between NTL trying to fit and connect my new business phone I was packing for the Fresh Summer Party. Oh, I'm so excited. I was looking for a load of summer clothes that I took to Portugal and couldn't find them, so I've got nothing to wear. Terese and Karen picked me up in Terese's car and we drove down to London. After getting lost and then finding the venue we got in with about 5 minutes to spare. We set up the Fresh stall, delivered the Nature's First Law books and then Terese and I sat down to listen to David Wolfe's talk. Wow -- he's a good speaker -- puts lots of funny bits in and stories to keep everyone amused. I had to get up and stand at the back for most of it though because my back hurt. I can't sit on normal chairs. In the break I had to go outside of the rooms because all the people buzzing round were making me feel odd. I went to sit on my own and then up popped Tony. He's originally from Leeds but has been living in the States. His eyes are amazing -- so vivid. We got chatting and he was telling me how much he wanted to get involved with the raw movement so I think we'll be seeing a lot more of him. A woman who was eating crisps came up to us while we were chatting and asked if her crisps were raw. I said "Well what do you think?" and she shrugged her shoulders, so I asked her if she'd ever seen crisps growing on a tree or running round in a field. I'm amazed that people can't even grasp the basics of information. I said hello to Stephen (Arlin) and he gave me a beautiful mango so he's my friend. I ate the mango which only made me go a bit mental (I was controlling myself in public for a change). Then the fun began. We were taking David and Stephen and their 2 weeks' worth of luggage and their books down to Dorset in Terese's car. We were also taking a load of Karen's books to sell. (By the way, from this point the boys became Dave and Steve because I'm lazy with writing names -- hence me calling myself Shaz or Shazzie on paper and Sharon out of my mouth). It wasn't all fitting in the car -- no way. So up pops Paul angel. Paul was going down to Dorset and had a bit of space so he put a load of boxes in his car and then we were able to get going. We still had loads of stuff on our knees though so it was a bit squashy. Everyone started eating and I had a sharon, 3 dates and most of a papaya (that's not an easy one to eat with just hands so I gave up and used Karen's knife). We all noticed how bright the moon was -- it was almost a full moon and it was lighting up the sky with a soft yellow glow -- we're close to the summer equinox or something. I actually noticed it half an hour after everyone else, typical me -- but I was sat in the middle of the car. Terese opened the top of her car and I could see everything in the world then. What a nightmare -- we couldn't get out of London and so we ended up in Dorset at 3am. It's a magical place, the Leela Centre -- I knew I'd have a good weekend here. By the time we go there were so excited by the enchantedness of it that we decided to go for a walk to watch out for the sunset. Dave and I walked to a wheat field which was just like the one in the movie Gladiator. As we stood still, there wasn't any wind -- it was total calm -- but just in front of us a section of the wheat moved as if someone had run their hands over it. We didn't try to figure it out. We looked at the moon and talked for ages and then at 5 went back to the centre because it was misty so the sunrise probably wasn't going to be smashing. Me and Karen then talked for 2 hours until she had to get up so I kipped for an hour and then got up too. Saturday 17th June 2000 Day 169 Well, I woke at 8, just an hour after going to sleep. My eyes were red but I wasn't tired -- it's too special here. Blimey it was a hot day (turns out it was the hottest one of the year). I hung about in the sun for a bit and then went over to the all day seminar. I had half a mango at 10 but it wasn't very good so I threw it away to make a little mango tree that won't survive long in this climate. The talk was inside and it should have been outside so we could all get the sun. At about 1.15 dinner was served. I had hummous, tomatoes, lettuce, guacamole, alfalfa sprouts. I didn't want anything more complicated than that -- that was plenty. The seminar started again but this time it was outside so I got changed into my practical shorts instead of an impractical dress and settled down to it. So the upshot of the seminar is that we need our green juices, we are what we eat and we should all be juicy and lighter. I was trying hard to avoid buying an expensive juicer because I'd rather eat the whole fruit and whole leaves but I agree with Dave's thing about minerals and getting them in concentrated form so I think I'll go for it in about a month -- when I get my first invoice paid! I had about half a pint of orange juice and then Dave and I went for another walk back to the wheat field and laid in it. We talked about the Gladiator movie and how we'd both thought that it was too long since laying in a wheat field and how we wanted to do it -- and there was our wheat field... it came to us. I think I fell asleep at one point. It was good to get away from people though -- I need this at the moment. Solitude or one or two people are fine but I can't cope with loads of them -- they get into my ears. The tea was the same as the dinner but the tomatoes weren't as juicy. I didn't have much. The disco was tonight and it sounded good -- lovely dance music. But I wasn't in a boogieing mood which isn't like me at all. Me and Niall built a bonfire with one of the blokes who works at the centre, then we just sat chatting for a bit. Steve then came up and so I went over for a chat with him. I then thought that the music sounded too good to resist so I went over to the disco, waited for a drink of water, got my water, drank my water, thought about boogieing and the some Irish jig music came on. Oh. I went back to the fire to talk to Steve. I came on in the night -- there was barely any pain at all -- the best one yet. I'm finally almost clean on the inside. It's a shame blokes don't get such an obvious signal such as this. It's a really good indicator. Interesting that it was a full moon tonight. There's no wonder I've been craving potatoes all week -- I don't remember my last period being a whole month ago but when I looked back in my journal it was exactly 28 days ago. I'm on proper times now for the first time in my life! Don't know what time I went to sleep. Sunday 18th June 2000 Day 170 Woke up at 8 but drifted back in and out of sleep for a bit. I had a mango for breakfast at about 10 and then I tried to go to yoga at 11.30 but it was full so Dave and I went for walk. I got my bikini top on to get as much sun as legally possible in this small-minded country of ours. How come blokes can walk round topless but we can't? Someone should take the government to court over violating our rights to be naked. Other animals don't have to cover up, do they? Well, in Great Yarmouth some of the horses wear nappies but that's for a different reason! We walked into a little village called Witchampton and on the way ate lots of wild plants. My favourite was horsetail stems. So I munched on them for a bit. I can't believe that I had some in my garden but I read that they're really invasive and should be removed as they'll get everywhere. I thought at the time how pretty they were and what a shame they had to go. I should have trusted my instincts but I didn't have many then as I was cooked. I'm going to try and find some and get it in my garden. It can spread all it wants and I'll eat all I want. God, how stupid -- get rid of a plant that's spreading itself for you to eat it. Durrrr. Some geezer on a bike saw us walking with our skin exposed to the sun and said "Be careful, it's hot" so I said "But I'm not made up of pork sausages, mate" -- I don't think he heard me. I laugh in the face of sunburn now. Mind you -- Karen's gone a lovely shade of pink -- I wonder why I don't get affected by it and she does? She's been raw loads longer than I have. On the way back we saw a stream that was actually clear -- I've not seen that in England before. Maybe it's just the over populated over polluted places that I've lived. There were some big fish in there but there seemed to be no easy way down to it so we just watched it for a while. Beautiful. We got back for dinner at 1.30 and I just fancied some tomatoes so that's all I had. And a tiny sip of some juice from wild plants that Effat (a crazy woman who forages all the time) had picked. Some of us went shopping and on the way back I ate a bit of avocado and about 6 pecans. Later in the day about 30 of us played rounders. I was on the American side as Terese and the 2 boys are all yanks. All 3 of them all played fantastically -- especially Steve -- but what would you expect? So we won. I think much of it was to do with Terese's cheerleading (she used straw for pompoms) -- that must have done the trick. We were all excited at winning so Terese and I started doing cartwheels in a field with long grass and I cartwheeled onto a bee and it stung me. I've never been stung by a bee before so I was a bit worried. Terese took me to the house and got some ice. Some bloke told me to pee on it -- I was so thirsty after playing rounders that I didn't think I had any pee left in me but I managed a bit. Then Terese nursed me for a long time. Bless her. Karen came into the room and we all had a nice girlie chat and ate watermelon. I only had a couple of little pieces though. This place gives me so much energy I don't need to eat much. At about 7 I had 2 avocados, 2 tomatoes, a chili and a few tangerine segments (they were OK but I'm just not an orange-thing girl, I don't think). I watched and photographed my last Leela sunset before my return to normality. I wished I could stay for a couple more weeks -- I think the place could have really sorted and transformed me but it's not to be yet. At about midnight I fancied a tomato so had one and it was so juicy and sweet. I also had half an avocado to go with it. Think I went to sleep at about 1 but I'm not sure. You don't look at times when you're in a place like this. Monday 19th June 2000 Day 171 Had to wake up early to travel back -- but I naturally woke up at 5.30 anyway. It was sad saying goodbye to our new friends but Karen and I will carry good memories of the weekend for a long time... Terese drove us back and I got home first so I said my goodbyes and got in the house. It was such a sunny day that I couldn't do anything except lay in the sun. I was out there for 5 hours. I had 2 mangoes which was a gorgeous experience. I also drank about a litre of water that had an orange squeezed into it (just like Dave told us to do!). I tried to start reading The Artist's Way but I couldn't. I had some floaty music on and I drifted off but could see people staring at me from above which freaked me a bit. I loved just laying in the sun. Even if I had to keep my bikini bottoms on. At just gone 4 I came in to have a bath and then do some small bits of work. I'm not able to focus today as my soul's still at Leela. It'll follow me back when it's good and ready. I just read tonight and made a pint of orange juice. Didn't feel like eating. I was telling Stevie about the weekend but he wasn't really interested. I desperately want him to walk the same path as me but it's looking unlikely that he will. And it's such a happy, fulfilling path, too. Went to sleep at about 11. Wow, an early night. Tuesday 20th June 2000 Day 172 Woke up at about 7.30 -- feel very energetic but don't know where to start with all the things I need to do. Too much bitty stuff to get on with. When I did a poo it smelled like the sort you do after a heavy night drinking. I wonder if because I've eaten so lightly over the last few days that my liver is detoxing? Hmm. I weighed myself today and have gone down to 7 stone 10. I feel better for it, too. Oh, little me these days with so much energy! At 1 I had 5 tomatoes and at 1.30 I had a really nice mango and a small amount of walnuts. I've been drinking a fair bit of water today and wonder if it's because I was out in the sun a lot yesterday. My tan's looking smashing by the way! I look like I've been abroad. Went over to (Fresh) Karen's tonight. We shared some durian and I had about one and a half young coconuts with the milk of about three quarters of one. God, I love that stuff -- I could live off it. I must find a supplier that will deliver to Cambridge. I then pigged out on about 20 NFL greek olives and my mouth dried up because of the salt. They were so good! I've eaten olives that were supposed to be raw before but these are the real thing. Woweeee! We had a really good chat about lots of things. We got talking about breast milk (as you do) and how if a mother is so toxic that might be why the baby can't get any or enough milk -- it's nature's way of saying that it's not good enough for the baby. Then we thought about if the milk did get to the baby and it grew up weak. This is my story: Jen, my sister wasn't breast fed. She was fed on cooked fortified cow's milk. She grew up tall, energetic and sociable with little illness. I was breast fed. I grew up weak, introverted, ill (especially in my lungs), didn't eat properly, and was shorter than I probably should have been (hell, I've got size 7 feet and I'm only 5' 4"!). My mum (bless her) didn't know that it was unhealthy to smoke, eat meat, eat cooked food (she still does the latter two which astounds me in this day and age!) so she did all these things when I was in the womb and on the breast. So Jen got only 9 months of it and I got much more. I probably couldn't recover, I was so young and being poisoned every few hours. If this sound like an attack on my mum, it's not. She's as confused as the next person when it comes to health because there are so many liars in the world and so many "professionals" who think they know best. It's really just a discovery that Karen and I think we've stumbled across. It certainly explains why Jen was so much healthier than I was as a kid when we came from the same mum.* Just before I left, Karen gave me some more olives in a tub -- oh they're good, I must get some. I got home at about 12, and went to sleep at 12.30. Wednesday 21st June 2000 Day 173 Woke up at 6.30. We've slept with the window open for the last two nights and it helps me wake up because the air's fresher. You don't get good air when you sleep with lager-swilling blokes! I decided it was the right time to start my Tibetan Rejuvenation Rites so I gave it a go. I do think I'll get good results from it. Unfortunately this diary's nearly over (6 months, then I'm out of here!**) but I will continue to keep a journal and may put some interesting updates on the web. I'll try to keep you posted! I then relaxed for ten minutes and did some affirmations. Had a lot of work to do today and wanted to sunbathe as it rained most of yesterday but even though I told it to be sunny it wasn't! I wasn't hungry at all today but when I went outside for something I ate 3 lettuce leaves from my garden (the little tykes were seeds from last year's crop that jumped outside my vegetable patch and grew in my walkway bit - tsk). I ate my remaining greek olives (about 20 of them) at about 2 and then I got a migraine so went to sleep for 3 hours. I don't think it was the olives that did it, I think I'm just on a detox at the moment. I think I might have been detoxing coffee today. Or something. I've eaten so lightly over the past few days that I'm not surprised I'm detoxing -- the energy from Leela is still there I can feel it so much (but can't really describe it so I won't try). When I woke up it was sunny so I went outside and laid down for an hour. I ate a little mango that had been sat outside waiting for me "Sharon, eat me, now" it said. When Stevie got home from work I was so into my little mango he couldn't get in (I'd left my keys in the front door), he said he rang the doorbell for ages and phoned me but I didn't hear anything - I always hear the doorbell - it's not like we live in a mansion. Mango induced deafness, there. I went out with Karen (A) tonight for a drink. I just had water and we had a good old girlie natter. She seems so happy now and I'm dead chuffed for her. She deserves happiness. I've got a really special bond with her and can't work out why as we're so dissimilar in every way. Weird one, that. When we got back round hers I ate a gorgeous juicy nectarine and made a lot of noise about it. On the way home at about 1pm it was a really dark evening and the moon was very low in the sky. It was really large and an orangey-gold. It looked a bit like a cornflake with a chunk taken out of it. Cor it was amazing -- especially as I drove by the river and saw the reflection -- beautiful. I would have stopped to look at it but I had to get home as I've got to go to the bank early in the morning and haven't filled the forms in yet. I got home and went to sleep at about 1.30. Thursday 22nd June 2000 Day 174 Woke at 7 -- a bit more normal today! Filled in all the bank forms and went to open my business account. I couldn't do it before as I had to wait until the company was formed otherwise I'd have to open as a sole trader and then alter it a few weeks later -- no point to that really! The area manager sat in on the meeting and asked me what I was doing and stuff -- he said that this venture is a winner because of my attitude! Nice bank man. Did some work at home but still felt out of sorts. Really not hungry and almost feel sick. I had a couple of walnuts (steady on, girl) and then half a little melon but couldn't eat the other half. About 2pm I ate 10 nori sheets on their own -- I've never eaten them on their own before but it was good -- I felt like I needed to eat something but nothing bulky. They did the trick. At about 3pm I got another migraine -- this isn't good! Well it probably is but I'm trying to set up a business here. Body: Please don't detox any more on me for a few weeks, please, please, please. I slept for about an hour and a half but didn't wake up with a clear head. I'll just have to work late tonight and do the weekend as well. Managed to eat the rest of my melon at about 6 which really filled me up. Derek the organic man came round today and brought me a load of boxes of food. I think I've ordered too much -- especially the rate I'm eating at the moment. I'll have to force some of it onto Stevie whether he wants it or not. I nibbled on some of the stuff as I was putting it away and then went back upstairs to work with an avocado and a chili. Felt better after I ate that. Maybe I was craving avocados and I wasn't going to buy any as I knew Derek was brining me a tray full tonight. Maybe. Went to sleep at about 11.30 which is early for me. Friday 23rd June 2000 Day 175 Woke up at 8.30 after being in a half-sleep haze from 11.30 last night to 4.30 this morning. What's that all about then? Did my Tibetan Rejuvenation Rites which made me feel good and then got on with work. At about 11 I made a cucumber, tomato, fennel juice. I was hungry for something but couldn't face sweet fruit. It went down a treat but even though it was only half a pint it seemed too much for me. Help -- I'm disappearing! I've lost another couple of pounds. I must buy a bike soon so I can get some real outdoors exercise. Oh -- on Tuesday while I was working I desperately wanted to go out for a walk but I don't like doing it on my own and wouldn't know where to go so I stayed in like a little bird in a cage. Bless me. Got a load of photos back today from various places (I'm not organised enough to send them off too frequently!) -- Iceland, San Francisco, Portugal, the Eclipse in my back garden last year and Yosemite. Cor -- there are some gorgeous ones. I'll scan them in for my web site when I've got time. I didn't realise I was such a good photographer at times. I've got the best rainbow picture ever from Yosemite. Wowee. After that excitement I ate an avocado, half a chili and an apple for my dinner at 2pm. Back to work, then. Do you know -- I'm really confused about my armpits. When I was in Portugal I didn't have to wear deodorant. A few days after I got back I had to start wearing it again because I smelled disgusting. When I was at Leela I didn't need to wear it after the first day, but on Wednesday I started smelling again. I wonder if it's something to do with being inside (like that's natural, isn't it?) or if it's got something to do with toxins in my house? I've got 8 plants in my little office so they should be doing the air some good, but I suppose it's nothing compared to the 1000's we're surrounded by when we're outside. Oh, and I don't think there's any MDF out there, either! I really don't want to wear deodorant but I can't go and see clients stinking, can I? What's going on? And it's worse under my left pit - loads worse. Now when I meditated on holiday and all that water came from my pits, most of it was from the right one so maybe that one's detoxed and the left one hasn't? I made a platter up out of guacamole, orange peppers, tomatoes, celery, cucumber, mushrooms and alfalfa sprouts. So that's what I had for my tea -- some of that platter. Well, not the platter -- the food on it. I'm sure I smelled Turkey under my left armpit earlier. Blimey I've not eaten meat for 15 years -- am I detoxing turkey's bits??? I went to bed at about 12.30 after working for a while. Blimey, I'll be glad when by business is set up so I don't have to work late most nights. It's funny because after more than 3 years of starting late in the mornings and working late at night to be more in synch with my ex-Californian colleagues, I'm not adjusting too well to UK working times. Even though I'm waking up earlier these days, my brain functions best from noon to midnight. Wonder if I'll ever get back to normal on this? I suppose it doesn't matter as long as my clients are happy! Saturday 24th June 2000 Day 176 Woke up at 8.30 which is another bit of a lay-in for me. We had to go to town to get some stuff and take back my broken phone and horrible ergonomic keyboard (it's all well and dandy having a keyboard that doesn't give you RSI, but if you can't type on the dammned thing it's a bit of a pain, just not in the wrists!) At noon we went to Pret for dinner I had a little box of strawberries and blueberries -- they were so sweet and ripe and tasty. Oooh you can tell it's the summer (except for the weather). We met my mate David in WH Smiths. He's always in there. Steve said a bit earlier "I need to go to Smith's", and I said, "What, to meet David?" and he giggled. Then we met him. I think it's because his last name is Smith and he feels at home. Stevie should pop over the haberdashers and I should loiter around the warehouses. Or something. Wonder where my last name comes from? Anyway, I'm going off on one here. We went for a cuppa with David, I had water and those two boys ate bready things and we all had a nice little chat. When I got home at about 2.30 I had an avocado, 3 tomatoes, half a chili, a bit of parsley and some walnuts. I felt very tired and sick so went to sleep for about 3 hours. I don't know why I keep feeling like this this week. I also had a migraine feeling. I can't still be dehydrated from the sun that I got over the weekend, can I? Oh -- I can still smell turkey under my left armpit. I wonder when I'll start to smell the stuffing and carrots? At 8.30 I had a mango -- it was an organic one from Derek the organic man. A really nice one -- it tasted of flowers -- nothing like those phoney Tesco mangoes. Wow. I even ate some of the skin it was so sweet. I then had a nibble of parsley -- not sure why -- just because it was there, I think. I felt much better in the evening and worked quite a bit, listening to some lovely whale music that I bought today. It's so good -- makes me concentrate, feel grounded and focussed. I then had half a bag of walnuts at 10pm. They were nice fresh ones for a change. I only ate them because they were sat in my office looking at me while I worked. Naughty nuts. I went to sleep at some time around midnight. Sunday 25th June 2000 Day 177 Woke up at 20 to 9, and wasn't going anywhere! I laid in bed until about 11 and finally got up. We'd took some clothes to the Sally Army bin at Tesco, but it was full so we left the bags outside the bin. If someone steals them I hope they like them! I wanted to give the clothes to an animal charity but couldn't think where I'd find one -- oh well. We came home at about 1.30 and I had 2 avocados, half a chili, 3 tomatoes, and some alfalfa sprouts. That was nice -- the organic avocados are perfect now. I've had to put some in the fridge so they don't ripen too quick but I'd rather not do that. What can you do when you only get them once a week, eh? We did a load more tidying up and took out rubbish to the dump (we've got a clean spare bedroom now!) and then I ate a big mango at about 6pm -- oh, it was just as good as yesterday's. I've had a load of energy today, but tried to give Stevie some as he was lethargic, but I think I stole his energy -- I do have a habit of doing that, but I just can't help it -- I don't mean to. He reckons that's why I always want cuddles, so I can steal his energy -- hey, he could be right and I didn't know it. Well, if the sun bloody shone I'd get some from there, wouldn't I? It's supposed to be better weather next week, at last. I decided to work a bit less tonight and have some time off -- I watched Futurama while eating an apple and then read a bit. Then did some more work. I'm like those penguins off the adverts years ago "chop chop busy busy work work bang bang"! I ate a nice tomato at about 9pm. Went to sleep at about midnight, just before I turned into a pumpkin. Monday 26th June 2000 Day 178 Woke up at 8am after a fantastically deep uninterrupted sleep. Well, I say uninterrupted -- I always wake up at sunrise to put a pillow on my head or crawl down the bottom of the bed so I don't get interrupted by the natural light! (not sensible -- I should go to bed earlier, and maybe I will soon?). Was quite hungry, which isn't like me in the mornings, so I ate a small melon and went off to a meeting. I then had dinner with Karen (A) at noon. I got a glass of water and some mango from CB2 -- I didn't know they had mangoes on the menu. It was OK -- a nice change, and I was hungry. Back at home I had proper dinner at 3pm -- 2 avocados, 3 tomatoes, some alfalfa sprouts and a little bit of chili. Then it was just work, work work. For tea I had another organic mango -- I just can't praise them enough. Out of this world they are. Oh -- I watched Corrie tonight and there's a male stripper about to do a turn. Blanche (an old bag) said she wasn't going to watch it and if God had intended us to be naked he wouldn't have invented clothes. I laughed for about 10 minutes at that one. Corrie has to be the funniest programme on the telly -- it's the only thing I make a point of watching these days. Had an evening off tonight -- reading and chilling. Went to sleep at about midnight. Tuesday 27th June 2000 Day 179 Woke up at 7.30 but felt tired. There's a cloud hanging above my head today -- I've felt out of sorts all day on and off. I can't work out what it is. Had a mango in the garden for breakfast (it's warm enough today!) at about 11am. My dinner at 1pm was quite big for me -- half a cucumber, 2 tomatoes, 2 avocados, a bit of parsley and a bit of chili. I just worked today and took a few breaks to go out. My pension man came round to talk about what to do with my pension now I've got the business and I told him all about the raw thing (he's a vegan Quaker). He said that I looked amazing (which I probably do compared to how I looked when he last saw me about 2 years ago). I told him how I don't get depressed now when I used to all the time as a vegan, and how positive the raw thing is, as opposed to how negative I felt as a vegan. Anyway, then we talked about pensions and stuff. I bought 2 figs from Tesco to photograph for my web site, but I squashed them on the way home so the picture came out crap. I had no choice but to eat the most squashed one so I'll have to buy some more and use a different camera. Oh -- don't talk to me about photos. I can't believe what happened. I took a load of fantastic pictures of the Fresh summer party and got them back today -- they're bloody double-exposed. I somehow picked up a film that Stevie had already used. The thing is, on my camera, the film gets rewound all the way back in but apparently on his, it doesn't. And it turns out, his pictures are about 4 years old -- before we were even together! I'm trying hard not to be angry about it because what's done is done -- I can't change it, but I can't see a reason for that happening -- what a waste. For tea at about 6.30 I had 2 avocados (I don't normally have 4 of these in a day -- I think I'm comfort eating for the loss of my pictures!), a romaine lettuce and a tomato. Then I ate my other fig. We went for a lovely walk tonight to Milton Country Park -- we watched a couple of families of geese peck the grass, preen and then snuggle up for the night. They were cute. We then went to a pub and sat outside -- it was a warm night even though the sun was hiding a bit. It's going to be sunny tomorrow. I read a lot tonight and ate a tomato and about 20 dates -- I never eat that many dates. I know why I'm doing it, though. I've really been through the emotional wringer these last few days -- emotional detox at its best. Went to sleep at 11.30 -- totally exhausted. I can't take much more. Wednesday 28th June 2000 Day 180 Woke up at quarter to 9. This emotional detox has taken a lot of energy from me. It's been a difficult few days with my emotional and physical detox happening at the same time, I can tell you! I'm down to 7st 6lb and feel like I've gone 10 rounds with Tyson -- I do feel beat up. But, I have to go through it -- there's no getting away from emotional detox -- you can brush it under the carpet quite a few times but it will come out bigger than before. I've tried. So this time, I just let it get to me, affect me, make me cry, smile, laugh, shout and despair until this morning I feel like it's finally levelled out and settled. So now I feel quite "normal" -- as normal as I ever could. Next time it arises I'll be ready for it and will deal with it in the same way, I think it's the only way. But it doesn't come up just so you deal with it, it comes up so you can heal from it. I had to listen to what my emotions were saying and pull them apart, analyse them and then put them in their rightful compartments. And I have healed -- there is some deep hurt in me that I feel has gone -- and I feel lighter for it. And I feel grateful for the detox, now it's passed. I spent some time on my garden this morning, before going to my chiro. I love my garden. I don't love the cat poo that finds its way into it so that has to stop. Alison, my chiro was dead impressed with my back -- it has improved so much in the short time I've been seeing her -- long gone are the sleepless nights in pain. I've got another appointment in a month to see how things are going, but the only bad pain I get now is in the middle right of my back which shoots down to the bottom of it. She'll sort that in no time. I then went to visit (Fresh) Karen and we took a little drive to a river and watched chip-eating people struggle by and swans show off with massive elegance and grace. It was an interesting contrast. We talked for hours about stuff. I ate 3 tomatoes (steady on, Holdstock). When I got home at about 4.30 I ate 2 avocados, a romaine lettuce and 3 more tomatoes -- but it was a bit too filling. I then decided to dye my hair. When I dyed it dark about 4 months ago it was only supposed to last 12 washes but it decided to be permanent -- and now that it's the summer I want it lighter again. But this daft hair dye I bought didn't lighten it at all, although it's put a bit of a warm tint on it which is nice. Blimey, I'm going to have to go to my hairdressers to get it done properly. I can't have dark hair in the summer. I went to see Lisa (B) tonight -- she was having a Virgin Vie party and so I bought one of those pillows that you heat up and put on your neck. Mmmm -- that'll be a spoil. I ate half a melon while I was there. We got excited talking about the Love Parade in Leeds that we're going to in a couple of weeks. 12 hours of boogieing -- cor, I'm not sure I can dance for that long these days, I'm not 21 anymore! No-one in the room except Lis had seen me since I started on the raw thing and they were all so gobsmacked at how well I looked and behaved. So much so that they want to buy some raw books. This stunned me as they're all cigarette-smoking women (my throat hurt by the end of the night!) -- but I suppose they've known me many many years and seen me struggle with my health and happiness, then suddenly they see this different person before them. I suppose it must be an inspiration. It's funny because Karen and I were only a few hours earlier discussing the importance of looking gorgeous if you're raw because it will be more convincing to others that it's the best thing for them -- even if it brings some unwanted attention. Of course it's true because most people operate at a physical level (or at least that's where they start). So -- all raw people reading this. Be as gorgeous as you can and more people will go raw! When I got home at about 10.30 I watched something about "Chicken Run" on the telly then I got to sleep at about midnight. Thursday 29th June 2000 Day 181 Woke up at 7.30 this morning (because I hadn't eaten late last night). Another business seminar today -- this time bookkeeping -- how riveting. Has to be done, though! I nearly fell asleep in this one. It felt like I was at school again, sat in a maths class thinking the teacher was talking alien to me. I don't understand this number thing at all. Give me a picture to draw any day! At the break at 11, I had 2 tomatoes out of my packing up box. Everyone else had coffee and I was pleased with myself for not joining in as the last 2 times I'd been there I drank it. At dinner time at 1 I had my gorgeous organic mango. Everyone else had buffet food and I was the only one making moaning noises. Mango or sausage roll? Hmmm... Our break was at 3 so I got out my last 2 tomatoes. I stayed behind for a drink afterwards with 2 of the lads (just water) and we got talking about auras and chakras -- they were really interested. When I told them I could see auras they were like: "What colour's mine?" Nothing like being put on the spot, is there? I nipped to Tesco on the way home and they're refurbishing the car park at the moment so I parked in a different place to normal. When I got out I couldn't remember where I put my car so I wandered around for a bit looking for the only bright yellow car in the car park. So the raw thing hasn't improved my sense of direction then! When I got home I ate 3 small avocados with a bit of chili, half a romaine and 6 sheets of nori. I've not eaten nori for ages and then I eat 2 packets in a few days. I must want something that nori's got. We went out with Al, Jessie and Bob tonight. I had a glass wine and felt drunk after 3 sips. Why did I drink it? I had a really exciting bottle of water in the next pub we went to. I used to go to pubs loads, but they don't hold any interest for me any more. They're invariably too noisy, smoky and full of pissed people. I just don't like that kind of atmosphere any more. I was tired after trying to make my maths brain work all day so we went home early and I think I went to sleep at about 11.30. Friday 30th June 2000 Day 182 Woke at 7.30 with a headache from the wine. Can't drink anymore! Had something in my eye until about noon and it was really hurting and scratching so I felt sorry for myself. I finally got it out -- it was a white hair -- they sometimes grow through my tear duct and stick into my eyeball -- oh, they shouldn't do that. They must stop doing that. I had a mango at 10.30 -- it was my last organic one, and Derek's on holiday for 2 weeks now. I loved those mangoes. They were like honey (but without being nasty to bees). At about 12.30 I had a big plate of 2 avocados (which were a bit grainy and not very nice), a romaine, 2 tomatoes and a tiny bit of chili -- these chilis are hot at the moment and I can't eat as much as normal. I took a bit of time out at dinner time to read my book. I'm about halfway through Bringers of the Dawn by Barbara Marciniak. At about 5pm I had about 10 dates and then continued working. You don't get coffee breaks when you're raw! For tea at about 6, I had a tiny salad of three quarters of an avocado, some cucumber, lettuce and a tomato. I then had a banana afterwards -- haven't had one of those in a while either. We watched This Year's Love on video tonight, and I had a handful of pine nuts which didn't taste nice, and 2 sticks of celery which tasted gorgeous. I went to bed, but then I got up at 11 as I wasn't tired enough to sleep. I was able to work well today -- I had lots of focus and concentration -- I listened to my whale music. But I've got so much I want to do still and don't know how I'll fit it all in. I'll do it though, because it's all part of my plan. Well, as this is the final day of my journal all that remains is for me to say is that I went to bed at 12.30 and had a good night's sleep! Next *I also since found out that when a woman is pregnant, all her stored excess minerals go to the baby. Subsequent babies, especially those who are born quite quickly after the other, don't get as many minerals as the stores are depleted. **Yeah, right! Like you lot would let me get away with that!

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