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Saturday 1st April 2000 Day 90 I woke up at about 7am with a bit of a hangover and the room stank of sick. I felt better for getting drunk because it stopped me having to deal with other people's behaviour towards me. I can deal with it in my own time but not when I'm on the other side of the world suffering from cooked food face poisoning and working God knows how many hours in a completely new job. I'm not putting myself under that kind of pressure. It was another beautiful day so I sunbathed for a bit while eating brekkie -- an avocado, a fruit cup (from what I didn't eat yesterday) and some almond butter. That was nice. I fannied around for a bit and then went out with Claudio for a carrot and ginger (I thought the ginger would help my stomach) juice and a chat. He, too, told me there's nothing wrong with the way I look. Said I was a babe. Aww. When I got to the airport I wasn't hungry so wandered round. My meal on the flight was eventually (they tried to fob me off with just a tiny fruit salad when I'd preordered a fruit plate) a nice plateful of strawberries, melon and watermelon plus a tiny fruit salad. Met a nice girl who is a veggie, coming to study in the UK for 3 months so I told her to go to Rasa W1 (veggie Indian) for the best ever treat. She had to listen to me going on about the raw thing -- bless her! It was very dry on the plane and I got through loads of water. Sunday 2nd April 2000 Day 91 I only got about an hour of sleep on the plane (I even took melatonin which usually knocks me out) but felt very bright at the end of the journey. When I got home Stevie had made a vegan chili so I thought "Sod it -- it can't do me any more harm than anything else I've eaten all week". I also thought "It's months since I've had one of Stevie's chilis" I also thought "I'm jet lagged and powerless to resist" so I ate a bowl of it with vegan sour cream on top. That's it for me though -- no more cooked food unless we go out in about a month for a meal or something. I'm going to eat lots of greens and veggie juices this week -- give my system a rest. I was a bit tired after my dinner and fell asleep for a few minutes in the bath. I perked up after we went for a drive with Stevie's top down (his car, not him) and a walk round a park. I ate a punnet of strawberries with almond butter at about 5pm. At about 10pm I ate a salad with home grown lambs lettuce and rocket, tomatoes and almond butter with olive oil. I slept for about 15 minutes before Corrie and as I write this at 2am I'm wide awake. I'd rather not take melatonin if only to see the difference being raw makes (although I've only been about 80% raw this week). Monday 3rd April 2000 Day 92 Didn't get to sleep until 4.30am (wasn't really worth going to bed) as I didn't take any melatonin. I woke up at about 10.30 which I was pleased with as I usually wake up at 3.30 the day after flying back home. My throat was still extremely sore and I couldn't speak (I tried talking to myself!) It took me an hour to move, though -- so I laid thinking about work. When I got up I worked a bit and at 12.00 I made a pudding out of a punnet of blueberries, 2 strawberries and 4 small bananas. That was the kind of food I've waited for all week! I really did miss my own food while I was away -- even though the fruit is much better in Santa Cruz. Home sick, I suppose. At about 5.30 I made a big salad and a separate dressing. The salad was loads of home grown rocket and chives with a lovely juicy ripe papaya slithered into it. The dressing was about 10 cherry tomatoes, a dessertspoon of raw tahini, 2 cloves of garlic, some olive oil and some chili all blended together for ages. I had a portion of that and then another portion later. My lack of jet lag is outstanding! As I don't need as much sleep now, there's less of a dramatic time problem for my body to get used to. I used to get the worst jet lag imaginable -- as if I'd been hit by a sledgehammer -- but this time I'm just a little bit tired and went to sleep a few hours later. Wow! I know I shouldn't eat before I go to bed but my body clock's all screwed up so I had about a handful soaked almonds. Tuesday 4th April 2000 Day 93 I didn't get to sleep til 4 again and woke up at about 10. I don't feel tired but my throat's still sore and I can't speak properly. I went to Tesco to get some fresh fruit and veg but I shouldn't go shopping at lunch times -- I brought a packet of medjool dates in from the car and ate all 12 of them. I never eat a whole packet of dates. We went to Mama Amalfi's for tea. I had marinated olives to start (they didn't taste cooked) and then a nice big salad with avocado, tomatoes, orange and red peppers and red onion topped with a bit of herby olive oil. When you go to Mama Amalfi's in the evening you get a big basket of bread when a dish of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. We used to fight over it but this time Stevie had it all to himself. I have to confess I did have one tiny bite of the bread, oil and vinegar thing and it was nice but it didn't really do anything for me. In fact I'm quite shocked how I don't miss bread and how when I have had it I've not wanted to binge on it or thought "How can you go without this for the rest of your life?" It just doesn't do anything for me. Once you get accustomed to eating food that's alive, all dead food and to some extent dried food becomes tasteless and unappealing. The living food vibrancy captures you and holds you prisoner. But you're a willing prisoner! We went to see Being John Malkovich which as a brilliant film and well worth watching. It's all about a bloke who's got a portal to his head and people can go in the portal and see through his eyes. In the end they stay inside him and end up controlling him. When we came out of the pictures, I got into a fight with a fat bloke who'd parked too close to Stevie's car and scratched the wing mirror. He kept calling me stupid even though he was the one who couldn't park, was too fat to get out of his car and damaged someone else's property. I think the rage I had was down to the fact that someone damaged my new car last year when it was only about a month old and they didn't leave me a note. But, this bloke tonight was a total idiot and wouldn't exchange insurance details, offer compensation or anything. I can't believe people get away with stuff like this -- where's their sense of responsibility and respect for others? Do you lose it once you get middle-aged, fat and mediocre? When we were driving out of the car park I cried and said to Stevie that I didn't know how I got so angry -- it was like someone else taking over. He laughed and asked if I was like John Malcovich where I've got a portal in my head. Wednesday 5th April 2000 Day 94 I didn't get to sleep until 4 and woke up at noon! Ooops. Maybe my jet lag was just delayed. Not to worry -- I work flexible hours anyway so that's not a problem. I had a delicious tree ripened mango for breakfast and then 2 apples during the rest of the day. For tea I made a big salad with avocados (they're really good right now) loads of Italian style lettuce, aubergine crisps, sweet cherry tomatoes that popped in our mouths and celery. I made a dressing which was the left overs of some I'd made the other day plus a dollop of almond butter plus some olive oil all mixed up. This salad was so good because most of the ingredients were organic and freshly purchased. Even Stevie had second helpings and he's usually saying "I don't fancy salad". I got to sleep at about 3am. Thursday 6th April 2000 Day 95 I had a meeting at 11am and woke up just before it -- I got dressed and went to work. So even though I don't feel as jet-lagged as I used to, I still can't adjust my body clock at the flick of a switch. I ate an apple at about noon but wasn't really hungry. I needed to concentrate on some work stuff and it was noisy in the office so I went home to work at about 3.30. Before getting down to work I made a lovely salad out of an avocado (quartered), 4 cherry tomatoes, 4 sundried tomatoes, a stack of lettuce, some aubergine crisps on top and a squeeze of lemon juice. I made it really pretty and ate it on the landing because that was where the only sunshine was in my house. At about 7.30 I went to (Fresh) Karen's and had raw spaghetti and ragu sauce -- it was so rich! I don't know exactly what was in the sauce but it was mainly sundried tomatoes and garlic. The spaghetti was made of saladacco'd courgettes -- they came out fantastic. I reckon if you saladacco'd some squash, coated it in olive oil and dehydrated it for about a hour to warm it up you could feed that to cooked people and they'd love it. I think I'll try that when I buy a saladacco! That was thirsty work so Karen made us a drink of banana, apple and orange juice (I think!). Afterwards we ate some hummous that I made which had 2 cups of barely sprouted chickpeas, the juice of 2 lemons (worth using 2, you get a better flavour), a big dessertspoon dollop of raw tahini, 1 clove of garlic, and olive, sesame, sunflower cold pressed oil added to get the right consistency. This was the best hummous I've made. I'll remember these proportions. We were thirsty so Karen made some orange juice from some freshly delivered oranges. I also picked all evening at sunflower greens. As I was driving home at about 12.30am down a really dark country road I saw the most amazing sky -- I've never seen a night sky like this. I had to stop the car, turn my lights off and stick my head out of the window and just watch it for 5 minutes. It was massive red rays sweeping across from the top of the sky down to the horizon and spreading out. There were also smaller balls of red. Cor! I got home and could still see one of those rays going behind my neighbour's house. I looked at the sky for a bit longer and went to bed. Friday 7th April 2000 Day 96 Didn't wake up until 10.00 and only then because the phone rang. I read once that when you're body's on a different time zone it takes one day her hour to get back to normal -- and it must be right because I've been waking up at 12, then 11, then 10. Typical -- on a Saturday when I could lie in, I'll wake up at 9. I'll have to get up early anyway as we're going shopping for my bike! It turns out that the sky last night was the Earth's magnetic field responding to a fast-moving ejection in the solar wind (something coming from the Sun) by brewing up major storm conditions at all latitudes. I wonder how many people saw it? My throat is still sore from last week -- it's been worse on going to bed and getting up. Also the skin around one of my wisdom teeth is cut and sore. My runny nose is clearing up now, though, and I've not coughed up anything disgusting for a day so that cooked food is going away slowly. I feel really tired today. At about 11am I had a smoothie made from a punnet of strawberries, 2 dates and 2 bananas -- mmm. At about 2pm I finished off the hummous that I made yesterday and used celery and carrots to dip. I didn't want to do anything tonight. I just wanted to relax and be in my own space. I feel like I've not had enough time to myself recently which probably isn't true it's just that I've been too busy with things and I'm tired from flying and eating cooked food. One day my excessive tiredness will be permanently removed. I've seen big glimmers of it already -- only needing 5 or 6 hours sleep. Flying and eating cooked food has set me back a bit but if I just eat really simply over the weekend I'll probably get back to normal. We ended up going for a drive in the early evening and somehow landed in a road that just wound between fields. Stevie's impractical car didn't like the road but I though it was fun. We saw a big pile of really steaming manure -- I wish I'd had my camera. I thought this would be a good place to go to photograph the sunset or just to watch it. There were only 4 cars in about 20 minutes (which is like nothing for around here). If only I could remember how to get there! Afterwards we went to Tesco and seemed to buy the whole shop. When we got home I had a big bowl of romaine with avocado, cherry tomatoes, and chopped strawberries. I ate far too much. Saturday 8th April 2000 Day 97 We were going to go shopping today and you've got to get in really early if you're driving into Cambridge or wait for an hour to get a car parking space. My throat was sore and I remember waking up in the middle of the night having to drink some water because it hurt so much. I got up at 9am and had a shower then we went to town. I decided to put off buying a bike because it's impossible to clothes shop and bike shop at the same time. This week, clothes are a massive priority because all my old ones are just falling off me and making me look anorexic. I got some nice stuff -- all size 8 or "small" I tried much more stuff on but most of it was too big. I was astounded by the amount of black clothing in the shops. It's Spring! Blimey -- there's no wonder people are depressed when they wear so much black. I hardly ever wear black, it depresses me far too much. I think I'd wear either white, cream or yellow all the time if it was practical, but as it stands I wear a lot of purple, orange, and generally happy or neutral colours. My perception of colour has been heightened a bit since going raw but it's not quantifiable -- I just feel happier towards happy colours and sadder towards sad colours. If I was Queen of England I'd ban black clothes! I had breakfast when we got back from shopping at about 2pm. I was a bit hungry but nothing major -- being raw you don't get the same types of hunger pains as when you're cooked as there are no crashes going on in your body. I did have to get a drink of water when we were shopping because my throat hurt so much. I was also talking strangely. So for my breakfast I made a yummy smoothie of 2 bananas, a papaya, half a punnet of strawberries and half a punnet of blueberries. I had this in a dish but it was runny enough to drink. It was such a beautifully sunny day I decided to eat my breakfast in the garden. I got a sunlounger out and ate my fruit in the sun -- and it tasted all the better for it. I liked the sunshine so much I decided to sunbathe for a bit (yes, sunbathing in England in the beginning of April!). I laid soaking up the sun for a couple of hours until it dropped behind my house (I hate the way my garden only gets the morning and early afternoon sun). I then decided to clear up the garden a bit so spent an hour trimming, weeding and faffing. After that it was time to eat and I got a bit excited about having just bought some nori sheets, so made 4 of them with an avocado, apple and chickpea sprouts mix. I was only using up the chickpea sprouts from when I made the hummous. I put mixed lettuce on the nori, spread the mixture on the lettuce, laid on sliced tomatoes and topped it with tahini. Totally unnecessarily complicated. I ate all those and put the remaining avocado mixture in the fridge. We watched a DVD in the evening and so for my tea I had the remaining avo mixture on top of romaine leaves. I love romaine -- I might try to grow some, but I'm worried about the amount of aphids I've got at the moment. They kill my plants. Sunday 9th April 2000 Day 98 I went to sleep at about 11pm last night and woke up at 11am this morning -- my body was doing some serious repairing! My sore throat's completely gone even though I still sound blocked up. I've felt movements in my head tubes like I felt when I was detoxing a few weeks ago. So it's a week since I ate cooked food and I feel almost normal again. I was hungry when I woke up which never happens with me. I made a massive smoothie of a punnet of strawberries, a papaya, 2 dates and half a punnet of blueberries. I wanted to sit outside and eat it but it's turned windy. Our good Spring weather has probably been and gone. I've had a lot of energy today although I wouldn't say I was zinging. I had loads of house chores to do and so spent about 4 or 5 hours doing that. It didn't tire me out (which is good for me) but I wasn't thrilled that I had to do it all. The first thing I did was clear my wardrobe out. It's no use having a wardrobe of clothes that are too big for me all taking up space, so I put them all in a bin liner at the bottom of my wardrobe. I then unpacked the clothes I bought yesterday and put them in my cleared out wardrobe. Blimey they look small. Another advantage of being raw -- you can fit more clothes in your wardrobe! I'm going shopping again next Saturday. At about 3.30 I made some guacamole -- It had 2 avocados, a small hot chili, 2 tomatoes and 2 cloves of garlic. I impressed myself with this one. The avos were really good. To dip, I cut up some cucumber and celery sticks and got some inside romaine leaves. I went outside to eat but my food almost blew off my plate with the wind so I came inside. Stevie said that's what I get for eating a light lunch. Pah! I had some more of the guacamole at about 6 and spread it on 2 romaine leaves. I'd eaten enough and wasn't hungry but I was hankering after something sweet. I decided to make a sweet treat. I don't normally eat things like this but I just wanted it. I got 2 big dessertspoons of almond butter and one heaped dessertspoon of raw carob powder and mixed it up. It came out like a choco-nut thing that you used to spread on your toast when you were little. Mmm. I then spread it on a banana, bit by bit as I ate the banana. With the rest, I filled 6 medjool date halves and ate them all. I knew I was in the mood for something sticky. Blimey that was nice. I went to bed at about 11pm. Monday 10th April 2000 Day 99 Was really busy at work today and forgot breakfast so I had to just have a salad from Nadia's salad that had avocado, tomato, lettuce, red and orange pepper. It was OK - fresh enough but not big enough. Their prices have just gone up so I get less for my 2 quid now! Went to Karen's at 7 to meet Fred - a raw chef who lives in Canada. In typical chef style he wouldn't let us near the food he was preparing. For that night, it was a man's kitchen! He made a lovely raw soup, I don't know exactly what it had in it, but there was avocado, spinach, olive oil, water, some herbs, celery and other stuff in it), then he made a gorgeous pudding which was so sickly and beautiful -- avocado, raw carob and dates. We all chatted and laughed for several hours and I went home with a nice full tummy and happy that I'd met another raw fooder. Since my throat pain has gone it's been replaced by the feeling of a tight chest. I'm still not talking properly -- like there's something restricting me. I'll keep an eye on it. I got to sleep at about 1am. Tuesday 11th April 2000 Day 100!!!! I woke up at 9 thinking about the busy day ahead at work -- everything that I'm doing is so scattered so it's taking a lot of energy for me to keep track of it all. I had some cucumber at about 11 and then made a dip out of an avocado and lime, and cut up a quarter of a cucumber, 4 tomatoes and the heart of a romaine. That was really nice. Tuesdays has become my "go out with Stevie night" because they do half price tickets at the cinema (like we're that skint!) so tonight we went to Hobbs Pavilion. I felt really guilty when he handed me the vegan menu and told him about my raw thing -- he was really interested though and said that next time I come in, if I phone up in advance the chef will get some ingredients in to do a real raw meal for me -- how nice! Stevie had garlicked mushrooms as a starter and I didn't even fancy one (I used to love them). I had a big salad full of all the raw ingredients they had (carrot, celeriac, lots of different lettuces, tomatoes, red pepper etc). The vegan dressing wasn't raw and I also had a Calvados which I wasn't expecting to have -- it's just that I was cold and it's a big weakness of mine. For pudding I had banana with cashews and a vegan praline sauce (which wasn't raw but was a small amount) -- the banana was so gorgeous -- it really had an amazing flavour! Next time we want to go for a meal, I'll book there in advance. They are the best restaurant I've ever found -- so accommodating and they serve consistently high quality food. We went to see The Talented Mr. Ripley at the pictures. When I saw the title it struck me how Americans still seem to put full stops after abbreviations such as Mr. when we'd write Mr without a full stop. Funny. No fat ignorant misogynistic gits had scratched Stevie's car in the car park this week which was good. I was tired when we got home but wanted to eat something so I mashed a banana, and mixed in some carob powder and almond butter -- what a good thing to eat before going to sleep! It's rained nearly all day -- rain rain rain. I went to sleep at about 1am. Wednesday 12th April 2000 Day 101 Woke up at 8 really tired and dopey -- that's because of the non-raw stuff and alcohol yesterday - when will I learn? I didn't feel like eating in the morning so just sipped water. At 12.30 I ate a giant mango with about a teaspoon each of almond butter and raw tahini on. I don't know why I wanted the nut/seed thing -- I usually just eat mangoes on their own. hmm. For dinner I made a pink sunshine sauce that I had with 3 nori sheets and one of those posh long peppers. The sauce had 1 red pepper, 2 tomatoes, 2 strawberries, 1 dessertspoon of tahini, 1 cup of pine nuts, 1 hot small chili, 1 clove of garlic and a tiny piece of ginger all whizzed up in the food processor. I called it Pink sunshine because it was hot and pink -- how original. It was really tasty -- non-raw people would like this. Since going raw I've really increased the amount of chili I eat -- I don't know why. I used to be really intolerant to it but now I eat it with wild abandon. Maybe it's because it's hot and my food's cold and it's cold outside? For tea I ate the rest of the pink sunshine sauce with 2 nori sheets and another posh pepper. I'm not sure why I want to eat so many nuts right now either. Managed to get to sleep at about 2am -- just because I was thinking about loads of stuff. Thursday 13th April 2000 Day 102 Had to get up at 7am to go to London and woke up 5 minutes before the alarm. Didn't feel tired but it always feels odd getting up early. Some people get up early every day of their lives. Maybe I'll be like that soon. Found it hard to get to sleep last night. My Uncle Ray's very ill with cancer stuff. It's upsetting because he was like a second dad to me when I was growing up, but it's so annoying -- cancer. I can't make sense of it. I think what's happening to him was one of the reasons I finally went raw but now I just wish I'd done it a few years before so I could have helped him. Well, there's nothing I can do now apart from send love to him. I'd really like to go and visit him but I'm so busy. Isn't it awful that I've got so much to do I can't spare time to visit him? I must try to make more time for my family. I've not seen my sister or her kids since New Year. Time just goes so fast, though, At least I have more hours in the day now I don't have to sleep so much. I got to the train station in plenty of time and bought a bottle of water so I could sit in the warm restaurant. When we got to London I bought 2 bananas and ate them straight away. It was freezing cold. We had some time to kill before the first agency so we went to a hotel for a drink. I had a freshly squeezed orange juice and about half a cup of coffee because I just couldn't get warm and I couldn't go to an agency shivering. This is definitely the worst part of my detox -- extreme coldness. I've always been cold but this is something else. I hope it doesn't last much longer otherwise I'll have to emigrate. The agencies we saw were both fantastic -- I thought how good it must be to work in a place like that. How glamorous. For dinner we went to a cafe that did loads of salads and veggie options so I got a green salad with extra avocado on it. It could have been twice the size (I've noticed that salads in restaurants are made for people with very small appetites, people on diets or as side salads!). There was a health food shop on the way to the next agency that sold veggie-bacon croissants, veggie-chicken and mayo baps -- how groovy! They sold fresh juice so I had a melon and kiwi juice. It was very white and after I drank it I worried that it had milk in it -- but they wouldn't have put milk in a juice, would they? We got a smoothie just before we got on the train home. It had bananas, strawberries and an orange in it. The bloke had never made them without milk before so was intrigued. We had to go shopping tonight and then I had a salad for tea. It had tomatoes, avocado and romaine. Went to bed at about 10.30 but I wasn't tired so didn't get to sleep for a while. Friday 14th April 2000 Day 103 Woke up at 8 and had a giant mango for breakfast. I was still hungry because I was so cold yesterday. Went to the Wrestler's at dinner time and had a glass of water. Got home at about 6.30 and ate a big salad of avocado, tomato and romaine. I was so hungry and wasn't planning on coming home so late today. Had a bath ready for tonight. It was Jessie's leaving do tonight so we went to La Margherita for a meal. I had a big bottle of water (I'm still thirsty from when I lost my voice) and some melon to start. For my main course I had a salad with lots of leaves, mango, kiwi, avocado and tomato. I put a bit of olive oil on to grease it up! I asked for an extra portion of avocado as the stuff on my plate wasn't quite ripe. Saturday 15th April 2000 Day 104 Needed to go shopping with Karen Armstrong for some shoes. I've not got any closed-toe shoes -- only boots and sandals. Was surprised when I tried a size 7 on (my normal size) and they were flapping on my feet. I tried the 6 on and they were perfect. My feet have shrunk, too! I got 2 pairs of shoes (one size 7) and a nice new size 8 top. Karen bought some shoes from Top Shop and couldn't believe she was walking round with a Top Shop bag at her time of life. We went to the Canadian Muffin Company for breakfast and it's gone so downhill. They wouldn't make me a smoothie without soya milk because all their fruit is frozen and it might have wrecked the machine (fair enough). So I asked for an avocado salad. The salad looked like it had been sitting out for a day and the avo was all brown. I refused it and asked for another one. The woman who made it came out of the kitchen and said "Well, I will make you another one but I only cut that avocado up this morning". I told her you can't cut up avocado and leave it to go brown and then try to sell it. It used to be a good little cafe but I don't think I'll go there again. They still make vegan muffins but I don't have much call for them these days! We got really cold because it was raining so much so we went home at about 3. It was David's birthday tonight so I made a meal for him, Chris and Melanie and Stevie. First they had ciabatta rolls dipped in infused olive oil and balsamic vinegar. For starters they had roast aubergine slices, posh pepper, mini orange pepper and plum tomato with vegan pesto and vegan mozzarella. I had marinated aubergine with posh pepper, mini orange pepper and tomato with raw pesto (laid out the same as theirs). For the main course I had Courgetti and rawgu. The pasta was saladacco'd courgette (like I had at Karen's the other night) and the sauce was rehydrated sundried tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, lemon and a tiny bit of salt all whizzed up in the food processor. I put it in the dehydrator for a couple of hours so it was warm -- it was so yummy. Everyone else had pasta with roast veg in a tomato sauce and garlic mushrooms. I also made a romaine, red onion, cucumber, tomato, basil and parsley salad and had some of that. For pudding we all had the same thing. I blended a punnet of raspberries and brambles together with 2 dates for sweetness. I then sieved them to get the seeds out. I thinly sliced the strawberries and added them to the sauce - covering all of them. They marinated for a couple of hours so the strawberries became soft and deliciously flavoured. I served this with banana and mango ice cream (blended bananas, mango and 2 dates, frozen). I loved the pudding, too. While I was making the food in the afternoon, I kept nibbling at dates, lettuce, rawgu and stuff. I drank about 3 quarters of a bottle of wine which isn't the best thing for a raw person to do... Went to sleep at about 1.30. Sunday 16th April 2000 Day 105 Woke up at 7.30 wanting to be sick but couldn't. Went and slept in the spare room on the floor and woke up at 9.30. It struck me how hard on the digestive system it is to eat a 3 course non-combined meal. How tolerant and desensitised must cooked bodies be to deal with the mixture they're given with every day? I came on last night which was a bit of a surprise. It's exactly 28 days which is the way I should be but never have been. Also I had very little pain compared to usual. A good sign that I've got less toxins in me. I didn't have any PMS, either -- as far as I can recall. Ate a couple of dates and then decided to make the choccie pudding so I did. 1 avocado, 6 dates and some carob later I was eating it. It was far too much for one person but that didn't stop me. I couldn't convince David or Stevie to have any but David did try some and pulled a face. Each to their own, then! Later, I had some of the left over salad, then went out with Thora, my mate Arun's girlfriend. She's Icelandic and living in Cambridge at the moment -- a lovely person. For being a female, I get on well with her. I had 2 bottles of water and got home at about 8. I made a salad out of the left over salad from last night, an avocado, some more tomatoes and some alfalfa sprouts that I've been growing. I started to fall asleep from about 9pm, but finally dropped off at about 10.30, just after Harry Hill. Monday 17th April 2000 Day 106 Woke up at 9am, not hungry and not tired, but not full of energy either. I made a smoothie at 1am of 1 banana, a small punnet of blueberries, about 15 strawberries and a spoon full of carob powder. It was nice but the carob didn't do it any good. I'll not put carob in a smoothie like that again. I ate a date while my fruit was smoothieing! I wanted to eat about an hour later so put left over pesto with tomatoes into romaine leaves and ate loads of them. For tea I had the last load of romaine and pesto with avocado. I was still in snack mode and so ate an apple with almond butter while the Strangerers was on the telly. I don't think I stopped eating this evening. I did some work for Fresh tonight and felt nicely tired at bed time. I think I went to sleep at about 1am. Tuesday 18th April 2000 Day 107 I woke up at 8.20 today after a good night's sleep. Unfortunately, I slept with my neck in a funny position and it's hurt all day, but I coped. We had an off-site at work today in a hotel, which was interesting -- especially as all the people I work with are in the States -- it made a nice change to feel like part of something. Before dinner time, I had 2 apples that I'd brought with me. The caterers made a guacamole and some veg for me to dip in it but there was so much. I think they thought I was a horse or something. I ate as much as I could and then got presented with a fruit plate -- there were strawberries, brambles, passion fruit (lovely) and mango (not ripe). A nice way to end a meal. I drank water throughout the day but had 2 cups of peppermint tea for warmth. I wasn't as cold today but It's been so bad I've been going overboard with wearing loads of clothes and stuff just in case. I need a holiday. Oh -- I'm booking one tomorrow! There were loads of veggie options at the buffet and Stevie got a nice plateful, but he opened one fried thing and it was fish. He asked the bloke at the buffet what it was and he said it was plaice. Stevie said that plaice wasn't veggie and he should remove the sign (there were about 5 other veggies waiting for food) but he wouldn't remove the sign first of all. Oh, and they had onion bhajis (which are veggie) on the meat section. Gives you a lot of faith in people doesn't it? The bloke insisted that "most veggies eat fish" -- Yeah right. Of course a fish is a vegetable that's why it's got roots, leaves, and chlorophyll. I got home at about 6pm and made choccie pudding again. I ate that and read my emails then had to go out again to a work's meal. Well, I didn't have to, but it's good to socialise. We went to Pizza Express and I had a salad made up of leaves and tomatoes and then a tomato and sundried tomato salad. I didn't eat many of the leaves so I had a bit of a tomato night. Wednesday 19th April 2000 Day 108 Woke up at 8.40 with a phone call -- I was in the land of nod. That'll teach me. It was Karen (a) - we're going to book a holiday today. Wooo hooo! I went to see my chiropractor and then tried to book a holiday but there weren't any nice ones so me and Karen got sad and walked out of the travel agents. At 2.30 I had an avocado and 4 tomatoes that I bought off the market stall outside the travel agents. There's a sign on the stall around the soft fruit such as avocados that says "Don't squeeze me till I'm yours" So I asked the man to squeeze it to see if it was ripe as I wanted it NOW! Karen rang while I was eating my dinner and told me about an apartment in Portugal that had 2 bedrooms and was 4 star. I said "book it" so she did. Cor. How exciting. We're going on the 7th of May! At 5pm I had 5 apple bananas and an apple. Haven't stopped working all day -- I've been so busy. Got home and ate a big fruit pudding of 2 bananas, a punnet of strawberries, 2 dates and some blueberries. I went out to David's birthday dinner tonight at a Chinese. I ate before I came out and sat with a pot of jasmine tea while everyone else ate. I didn't feel odd, though. They all know what I'm like. I stole some of Melanie's cucumber, how brave of me! When I got home from David's birthday at midnight I had 5 strawberries, 1 banana and a dessertspoon of almond butter. I couldn't sleep until 2am and wanted to work, but couldn't as my laptop was in the bedroom and I didn't want to disturb Stevie. Oh well. I've had a few small food cravings. I wanted fried stuff today and bread yesterday. Some toxins are coming out and being released into my blood atmosphere. Thursday 20th April 2000 Day 109 Woke up at 8. I ate 4 kiwis at 11.30 and then at 3pm I had 2 bananas, a big papaya and a teaspoon of almond butter. Later in the evening, I made some corn chips for Sunday. I did 3 flavours, all with the base of corn, flax, onion, garlic, lemon, nama shoyu. I then added garlic and chives to one set of them, tomato and basil to the other and chili to the final on. I made the chili one into 2 rings and will put a nice thing in centre or something. At 3.30 I ate an apple with a teaspoon almond butter. At 7.30 I had the same but also with left over mango and banana ice cream. I've had loads of energy today and yesterday due to the more simple diet. It's smashing. I also feel very happy even though life's extremely busy. I ate a chip with vegan mayo from Stevie's plate -- I think it tasted nice. I still have slight cravings for potatoey stuff, but nothing major. I can handle this. My really dry skin has gone. I had to buy a moisturizing cleanser (Dessert Essence) because I couldn't cope with the dryness. This isn't a raw thing, it's ongoing because of the heavy limescale in our water. I'll have to stop washing or something. At about 11pm I had 2 nori rolls with marinated aubergine, mushrooms, tomatoes and sun dried tomatoes. This isn't a good time to eat a lot! I went to sleep at 2am. Friday 21st April 2000 Day 110 Good Friday! Woke at 9 and went shopping and to B&Q to get some paint -- we're painting the kitchen today! Bought bright warm blue and grey with some silver stuff to put on top of it in a nice texture. Ate 3 olives at the Sainsbury's deli -- trying to work out which ones weren't cooked. Finally settled on one and bought a pot of them. Also bought some sunblush tomatoes -- asked for a pot of them and some old bloke came up to me and said "ooh you don't want that many, they're far too expensive" and I said I didn't care what they cost and he stood there going "Let's see what they come to" and they came to £3.70 and he said "See that's far too much" -- I said "No it isn't if I'm buying what I want". Nosey old bugger. Why do strange people always come up and talk to me? I only wanted to do my shopping, I didn't need his help! On the way to the car I ate 2 figs that I just bought. Oh my God, they were gorgeous. I almost turned back to get some more but thought about the long queues and thought against it. Great big ripe purple yummy things. Mmm. Got home and made a quick salad out of mixed leaves, cherry tomatoes and cucumber, and ate it in bed. Finally, at 3pm we were ready to do the decorating. I think the colours look really nice together -- we've only got the hallway to do now and that will be all the downstairs done. We went to the Rainbow at about 7pm and I didn't have a starter but had about a quarter of a teaspoon of Stevie's lentil soup -- it tasted good. My main course was a big raw salad (which isn't on the menu) but I also had a bit of Stevie's vegan garlic and pesto bread (about a mouthful). Hmm -- it was nice while it lasted but I still don't miss it enough to want more when I try it. I had 2 glasses of wine which got me quite tiddly almost immediately. I'll stop drinking altogether soon as it doesn't do me any good but I felt like I deserved it after my very busy week. We went to bed at about 10.30, tired from decorating. Saturday 22nd April 2000 Day 111 Stevie woke me up at 8 which was really good of him. I did a bit more decorating and ate a few slices of melon. Did some more decorating and ate 2 really gorgeous juicy papayas, and then did some more decorating. At 11.30 I ate 6 dates with a big dollop of almond butter. Then I did some more decorating and forgot everything else in the day. Can't remember what else I ate today or anything. Sorry. Sunday 23rd April 2000 Day 112 Woke up at some time like 10ish I think. I made a smoothie for me and Stevie out of 4 bananas and a punnet of strawberries. I went to (Fresh) Karen's for a little raw food get together. I'd made seed cheese, hummous with olives and corn crackers. I ate loads of other stuff while I was there. Niall made some salad from back garden plants (weeds) such as chickweed and something that stabbed my tongue. We had courgetti, seed and avocado pates, and loads of other stuff. The company was wonderful as ever. Then we stuffed ourselves with Tunisian dates and I got all flashbacky when I saw the box -- reminded me of Tunisia when I was about 10 when my mum and dad could have made a few quid or camels if only they'd have sold me. We watched the Matrix and were astounded at how many raw references we found in there. We reckon we're the unplugged ones that need to save the rest of humanity. I sometimes don't know if they're worth saving, though! I went home at 12.30 and straight to sleep. Monday 24th April 2000 Day 113 woke at 9am -- tired and thinking about all the stuff I have to do. Why do I over commit like this and end up not having time for a rest on Easter?? Did some Fresh stuff and some other stuff, housework, sunbathed, read 2 pages of my new Corporate Branding book so I'm an expert now. Had a strawberry, raspberry and banana smoothie, and at 12.30 made a buffet type thing with left-over hummous, seed cheese, crackers and tomatoes, romaine, orange pepper, sun blush tomatoes, olives, and I made a guacamole -- but didn't blend the chili properly and ended up with almost a whole one in my mouth! Quite an experience, that. I decided to play badminton at 5pm with the lads -- it's the first time I've played since I've been having back treatment -- owch, my lower back is sore at the moment and it didn't want to be stretching -- even though it probably did it good. For tea at 7.30 I sat down to Corrie and I had the same meal as before but without the crackers. I wasn't hungry for much else later on, that's for sure. Worked on stuff until 12pm and went to sleep at 12.30. I think exercise helped me get to sleep so fast. Tuesday 25th April 2000 Day 114 Woke up at 8am and had 2 bananas at 10.30. At 12.00 I had a whole romaine with an avocado and 5 cherry tomatoes. I just folded up a bit of avocado and tomato in a leaf and ate -- really simple but very tasty. I had a banana at 2pm and at 4.30, ate a baby pineapple ( which wasn't great) and an apple. I don't think I like pineapples very much any more -- they're too sharp for me. I had lots of concentration today -- and felt energetic (even though my back's twinging), and happy. Looking forward to my holiday! At about 7.30 I had 1 banana 6 oranges and 3 strawberries pulverised and then sieved. Didn't fancy anything heavy today after the big buffet style meals of the last 2 days. At 9.30 I ate 4 juicy lovely figs and went to sleep at 1am. Wednesday 26th April 2000 Day 115 woke at 8am and at 9am made a smoothie out of 2 bananas, half a punnet of strawberries, a punnet of blueberries, a punnet of raspberries and 2 dates. I had half of it. At 12.45 I had 1 whole romaine and 2 avocados. Need to eat simply again today as I have a lot to do and won't get through it all with chemical chaos in my body. Started to feel a bit feverish this afternoon -- 2 days on a very pure diet will be inducing a bout of detox -- I should try and ride this one out as I'll feel so much better afterwards but I've got so much to do I can't relax. If it gets too bad I'll eat some corn crackers or something -- that'll slow it down. I had tea at 6.30 -- a bowl of strawberry (about 10) and papaya (one) pudding topped with 3 dates. Sexy colour this one -- definitely the one to try out on a man. At 10pm I just had to eat 4 dates with a big dollop of almond butter (it's nearly gone now, I'll have to go back to the States to get some more). I went to bed at 10.30 -- knackered and achy hand from too much work. Thursday 27th April 2000 Day 116 Ooops, I've lost Thursday. I'll have a look under the bed for it. Sorry. Although I think this is the day I found out my boss has been made redundant. My now new boss which is my old boss, Tony from before has asked me to take some time to think what I want to do -- to assess if there's a position in SCO for me. I don't think there is -- I've given all I can give and unless I get a good management role then I'm wasting my time doing something that feels like reinventing the wheel. This is an interesting time for me then! I don't know what my options are. I'll have to do some thinking. I could set up a business but I'm not sure I've got the confidence. I should have, I'm a changed woman. We'll see. Friday 28th April 2000 Day 117 I took a half day at work because I needed some time to think about it all. I think I've come to a conclusion but I'm going to take my time over it. It's a big decision. I'll have a good old think about it all on holiday. Just to be on the safe side, I've decided to register www.rawcreation.com -- if I do what I think I'm going to do -- this will be it. Went to Lisa's tonight for a girlie chat and catch up. It's so nice to see her again, especially as she seems to be a bit healthier and happier -- although she's got a lot to get through yet. I'd like to be there for her more but I'm so busy my feet don't touch the ground these days. It's the same with all my friends and family but you can only be in 50 places at once, not a million. Anyway, I made her a raw meal (which she admitted scared her and she worried she wouldn't be full). I made a nice salad of cherry tomatoes, sundried tomatoes, leaves, chive flowers and some other stuff. I served it with guacamole and peppers and cucumber to dip. She was really surprised at how much she liked it and how it made her feel. For pudding, I made choccie pudding and strawberries but Lisa was too full to eat that so I left her portion in her fridge and scoffed mine -- nice. Very nice. We had half a bottle of posh Californian fizzy wine and then went out for a bit -- oh dear, I had a bottle of Smirnoff Ice or something and then we had another bottle of wine between us. Jason came home, tried my pudding and loved it then I went to bed at about 2 and left the lovebirds to it. Saturday 29th April 2000 Day 118 Woke at 8 and tried to sneak out of the door so as not to wake Lis and Jason, but when I got to my car, Jason's car was in the way so I had to knock on the door, wake them up and get Jason to move his car. Ooops. Got home and had a bit of cucumber then we went shopping -- Stevie needed his hair cut (it was about 3 millimetres long and he was concerned that he'd started to look like a hippy) and I needed some trousers (I'd tried to shrink my other ones but they didn't shrink so I'm going to have to give up on them) and some holiday clothes. I found some nice yellow size 8 shorts and a couple of pairs of trousers. I had a small bag (100g) pecans from a health shop When we got home I made a guacamole with 1 avo, 3 tomatoes, a clove of garlic and the juice of one lemon. Didn't put any chili in it this time. I had it with an orange pepper and cucumber to dip. I can't believe how much I used to hate cucumber. I love cucumber. Stevie decided to cheer me up and take me out of my work thoughts by taking me out for a meal. We went to La Margarita which is the best place for me to go in Cambridge because of all the raw food they have. I had a plate of fresh tomatoes and basil to start with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar on. For my main course I had the usual that I have there -- salad with grapes, mango, avocado, lettuce, tomato and kiwi. I put a bit of olive oil and balsamic vinegar on it. That was me full up. We didn't get home till quite late so we went to bed and watched the end of "100 greatest TV ads" -- Tango, Flake, Guinness -- all that food and drink stuff that convinces people they want a part of the life being offered. Went to sleep at about midnight not quite convinced that I needed a Flake. Sunday 30th April 2000 Day 119 Woke at 9 and did some washing and cleaned the bathroom and other housey chores. At 11.45 I ate a papaya and then did more chores and stuff. I ate a salad at 4ish of cucumber, lettuce, peppers, celery with salsa and guacamole. It's my Mum's birthday tomorrow so I drove to my parents' house (about 100 miles away) and ate 4 dates when I got there. I felt obliged to eat a really big salad (with all the normal stuff) so they didn't think I was anorexic - which was silly of me. I then had a full tummy ache. I went to the pub with my sister and her sister-in-law but felt horrid because of my cystitis. I had a bit of a thrush feeling too, but couldn't be sure. I went to sleep at 12.30. "I never would have gotten this excited if you hadn't written your journal! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Diana, Texas, USA How do I feel after my fourth month? I eat with my hands all the time now. It seems kind of criminal to use a knife and fork. Sometimes I do -- if I'm out or something. I've also stopped cutting my fruit before I eat it -- I just bite into it or break it. That's much better. Quite a lot of hair fell out at the beginning of this month -- but it doesn't look any thinner. I'm wondering if it was a spring moulting or something? I've experienced a massive increase in energy, stamina and concentration. My reflexes are now very fast. I'm looking at many things with new eyes, and hearing many things with new ears. Lyrics to my favourite songs have taken on whole new meanings to me. This is a sure sign that my depression has finally and permanently lifted. I am now mentally a new person. I find it hard to watch the television now. It drains me. The only thing I watch regularly is Coronation Street because it make me laugh. I perceive everything differently -- music sounds like nothing I've heard, challenges are something to be embraced instead of feared. I can't begin to say how wonderful I feel -- I'm almost scared at the beauty and optimism I see all around me. It makes me want to cry because that's a dramatic emotion -- and this whole change is so dramatic. I just love the change that's going on in me, even though it means my life won't be easy for the foreseeable future. I love the days that I eat simple fruit where I feel so much gratitude for this life that I almost burst. I really wish I knew more words so I could tell you how amazing this experience is. It's just breathtakingly beautiful -- please try it for yourself, your life will change for ever. What do I want to achieve in the next month? I couldn't do the exercise I was planning on doing because of other commitments (I know, I know). I'll have to put it on hold for a bit now as I've got too much else to do. This will slow my striving for perfection down a bit but I've got the rest of my long raw healthy life to make up for that! So this month I want to continue eating more fruit, less vegetables (but still keeping a lot of leafys going). I need to do this because I've got a very busy time ahead of me and need to keep my wits about me. In my professional life, it's almost make or break time. Next

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