Extraordinary breastfeeding -- Channel Four
Written by Veronika Robinson, Editor, The Mother magazine
As seen on Richard and Judy, Channel Four, February 1st, 2006
On February 1st, Channel Four aired Extraordinary Breastfeeding.
It was a sensitive portrayal of long term breastfeeding and showed the
stories of four families. Sophie weaned her two year old twins. Dolores,
who was breastfeeding four year old Tristan, adopted a Chinese girl who
she hoped to breastfeed. Kirsty runs a breastfeeding support group called
Little Angels which has doubled the local breastfeeding rate. Kirsty goes
into the local hospital and teaches new mums to breastfeed.
My family's story is simple. We chose to let our daughters wean themselves
when they were ready. They both weaned at a similar age. Bethany was seven
(despite stating on the documentary that she was five) and Eliza was a
couple of months shy of her eighth birthday. Bethany drew huge media attention
by the fact she requested to breastfeed for a 9th birthday present. The
media played on her statement that breastmilk is better than a million
melons. Better than mango, even.
In the media frenzy around the publicity, there were many factual errors.
The Daily Mail, to whom I gave an interview, fabricated quotes
left, right and centre and in one particular quote, wrote the exact
opposite of what I said. They hounded me for a family photo on the day
of my mother in law's funeral. Not only was my story fabricated, but the
other two women involved also had their stories altered in favour of how
the Daily Mail thinks their stories should be! In Sophie's case, they
stated (wrongly) that breastfeeding caused the break-up of her first marriage.
I also gave an exclusive interview to NOW magazine by email, but they
too, sadly, managed to misquote and change the tone of what I said, despite
it being written in black and white.
It was an honour to be a guest on the Richard and Judy show a
few hours before the documentary went to air. They publicly stated that
they could find no medical or psychology expert to come out against
full term breastfeeding. Of course they couldn't! Studies show that it
is psychologically beneficial to breastfeed this way.
Extraordinary Breastfeeding had 3.9 million viewers! More than the population
of New Zealand.
So, for the record, here is what I really feel about extended breastfeeding.
The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!
Firstly, let's get rid of the term extended breastfeeding, for it suggests
that we are doing something beyond a normal or natural timescale. The
appropriate words for describing a situation where a child is allowed
to self-wean is called full term breastfeeding. This is regardless
of whether a child weans at 2 years of age or later. From my perspective,
the age is irrelevant. What is important is that the child is welcomed
to the breast and that the relationship is mutually enjoyable for mother
and child. Not all children would breastfeed beyond five or six years
of age if allowed to self wean.
So why would a woman choose to breastfeed her child for years on end?
When I began breastfeeding I never gave it a thought as to when I would
wean my child. I had an infant in my arms who needed my milk. I seriously
didn't plan ahead to when she would stop having this milk. When Bethany
was a year old, I was dining in a friend's café. The niece of this
friend was heavily pregnant. Upon seeing me breastfeeding, she snapped,
"I will be weaning my child when it is nine months old!"
It was the first time it occurred to me that I might be doing something
a little unusual. Sadly, this woman never did breastfeed her child, but
chose to raise it on goat's milk. She was proud that her child would be
raised on goat's milk just like her mum had been.
When Bethany was fifteen months old, I became pregnant with my second
daughter Eliza. Again, it didn't occur to me that I might be doing something
odd because I was breastfeeding while pregnant. I even had one elderly
lady suggest my breastmilk would be poisonous to my toddler! I can assure
you, breastmilk made during pregnancy is NOT poisonous.
When I gave birth to Eliza, Bethany was 22 months of age. She breastfed
during my labour and continued again after the birth in a practice known
as tandem nursing.
Now, I can tell you, breastfeeding an infant and a toddler is rather
a juggling act. In the early days I fed them both at the same time. One
on each breast. Bethany stopped eating food altogether. She was in heaven
with all this lush new breastmilk gushing forth. As they grew older, I
tended to feed them one at a time.
It was about this time that a friend recommended I attend La Leche
League (the international support group for breastfeeding families).
When I went to the meetings I saw a woman breastfeeding a five year old
girl. My eyes nearly fell out of my head! My goodness, I thought, look
at that huge child ~ breastfeeding!! Despite my shock (NOT revulsion),
something changed inside me that day. A door opened for which I will always
be so grateful. My frame of reference widened. I began to study about
breastmilk and breastfeeding. I was stunned by what I learnt, and trained
to become a breastfeeding counsellor. It is impossible not to be passionate
about breastmilk and breastfeeding when you truly know of its benefits.
There is no other product on this Earth capable of nourishing our body,
brain and immune system like mother's milk. But there was more! So much
more to learn. And this is what led me and my family to the place we came
to where we let our daughters self wean.
The human body biologically expects to breastfeed for up to about
seven years of age ~ the universal age for losing the milk teeth.
There is so much anthropological and scientific evidence to show that
this is what our body needs and expects, regardless of the culture, climate,
race or status we are born into.
People often wonder if full term breastfeeding is 'for the mother' as
if we're being selfish. My experience couldn't be further from this way
of thinking. If I was looking out for me, I'd have no doubt weaned them
years ago. I put their needs first by allowing them to self wean. There
is nothing selfish about putting your own needs to one side for a few
years in order to give your child the best start in life.
However, there are huge benefits for women who breastfeed for
many months and years. Studies have shown a significant decrease in
ovarian and breastfeeding cancer in mothers who breastfeed long term.
Now that's a reason to be selfish! :-)
I can honestly say though, for me, this reason played no part in my decision.
There is also an assumption that mothers like me are smothering - forcing
the child onto our breast. YOU CAN NOT FORCE A CHILD TO BREASTFEED.
Breastfeeding in children is initiated by the child. Because breastfeeding
involves the sucking 'reflex' you cannot force it. And it is this same
reflex that is responsible for self-weaning. As a child gets older, they
are so busy with life, playing, running, and all the other adventurous
things they get up to, that they simple aren't breastfeeding that often.
It varies from child to child. Some will breastfeed once or twice a day,
others may go for days without breastfeeding. Some will go weeks and then
have a feeding frenzy. The reflex needs to be regularly used in order
to work efficiently in extracting milk from the breast. ALL children will
lose this reflex as some point, if allowed to self wean.
The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding well into
and beyond the second year old life. This is a conservative organisation
which is saying two years is the minimum we should breastfeed for, NOT
the maximum!
The American Academy of Family Physicians (yet another very conservative
organisation) states that weaning a child before two years of age leads
to an increase in illness.
The worldwide average for weaning is 4 years and 2 months of age.
I'm no mathematician, but I can assure you that you don't get an average
like that if the majority of people are weaning at 6 months of age.
There are so many benefits to breastfeeding and the consumption of breastmilk.
I am all too aware that the average person on the street knows next to
nothing about breastmilk, and that is why, in Britain, we have such appalling
breastfeeding rates. Many people assume formula is an appropriate alternative
to breastmilk, no different perhaps than if they were to choose Pepsi
over Coke.
Breast milk is a living food.
It is constantly changing as the mother's body scans the environment
for dangerous pathogens. Her body adapts and produces milk to build her
child's body in the way no other food can. No two mothers have the same
breastmilk. No mother produces the same milk twice. It is constantly changing
to suit the needs of the child.
Formula milk is static!! Formula is not a living food. It cannot build
the brain or the immune system. When babies are fed from a bottle, they
are denied their birthright to develop right and left hand/eye coordination;
the building up of oro-facial muscles which can only happen when extracting
milk from a breast; the warmth of giving and receiving from mother to
child. A bottle, a dummy ~ these are no replacements for the love and
comfort of a warm, comforting breast. The human needs to suck. But it
needs to suck at the human breast to have this need met fully. The consequences
of not doing this are many. It may be as simple as sucking a thumb, or
could manifest later in the shape of cigarette smoking, food addictions,
etc.
Animal milks are made for animal babies. Cow's milk is designed to build
a calf's body very quickly. Goat's milk is designed for a kid.
In the past few weeks I've been asked many questions that people clearly
want to know. I'll do my best to answer some of them here.
No, my sex life has not suffered because of breastfeeding. Nor has it
for my husband. Many people suggest that it is difficult for men to be
at the back of the queue when kids come along, and goodness me, how did
my poor husband cope with not being first in line? Well, I am blessed
with an emotionally and mentally mature husband. He has never felt jealous
or needy. He knows I love and adore him. That doesn't change because I'm
breastfeeding the two children who were created from our love! It is hardly
beneficial to parenting if the partner is acting like a needy child.
NO, my nipples have never hurt. Sore nipples are the result of the baby
not latching on properly. If a woman has sore nipples, she needs to get
help immediately. Nature intended that breastfeeding be enjoyable. If
your health visitor or midwife don't know how to help your baby latch
on, then please, contact LLL (La Leche League) or the ABM (Association
of Breastfeeding Mothers) or , better still, an experienced breastfeeding
mother. Many women give up breastfeeding because of sore nipples. Latching
on correctly is very easy to address.
I've been asked over and over if I'm concerned about my breasts changing
shape because of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding does not change the change
of your breasts, PREGNANCY does! And how could a mother not value her
breasts, regardless of their shape, when she has fully nourished her children
through them? So what if they aren't a certain size or a certain shape?
My kids and husband love them the way they are. Why should I care what
the average man on the street thinks of them? I don't!!
Do I care if people think I'm weird for breastfeeding so long?
Nope. To be completely honest, from my perspective, I find it strange
that people aren't breastfeeding their children as nature intended.
I was surprise at how many people recognised me on the streets after
the documentary aired. Clearly the British public haven't learnt how to
be discreet when they recognise someone from television. The pointing,
staring, whispering, laughing….are all indications to me of people
who just have NO IDEA what they're doing to their children by not breastfeeding.
I've been inundated by supportive emails and cards. I know that for every
person struggling with the concept of full term breastfeeding, there are
at least two people cheerleading the cause.
Fake milks are relatively recent in human history. A blip in time in
the scheme of our evolution. If we continue raising children on fake milk
or milk from another species, we will see not only a rapid decline in
humanity's mental, emotional and physical health, but I believe humanity
would die out if we were to all stop breastfeeding.
I appreciate this is a radical statement from which most people will
immediately define me as a 'crank'. But when the scientists raise their
heads above the horizon and start saying the same thing, then, I'm afraid,
it may be too late to undo the damage we've done to our children. It may
be two or three generations from now when we'll see the shocking problems,
but they will happen. If we were meant to drink crap from a can, milk
from the udder of a cow, goat, camel or horse, then we'd have been born
to those animals rather than a mammalian human.
**A very special and heartfelt thank you to Katie Buchanan, Producer
of Extraordinary Breastfeeding and a mother who breastfed, for staying
true to your goal of a campaigning documentary for the right to breastfeed
in public while skilfully grabbing the attention of mainstream Britain.
© Veronika Robinson, reproduced with kind permission
About Veronika
Veronika is married to Paul, a Voice Over artiste and singer. They have
two young homeschooled daughters, Bethany and Eliza. They have two grown
up sisters, Hannah and Harriet, from Paul's first marriage. Veronika loves
them all!
Veronika birthed and edits the natural-parenting magazine, The
Mother, based in the UK, and sold globally. I highly recommend
that if you are raw and have a family (or are thinking of starting one),
that you subscribe
to this magazine or buy singular
issues direct from us.
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